Huh. That surprised me, but I nodded. “Okay. Good to know.”
I’d thought we were done with the Troy conversation until she said, “God, he’s even hotter now, isn’t he?” She lowered her voice. “To this day, still the best sex I’ve ever had.”
I swallowed, inexplicably uncomfortable with her admission and feeling a little offended on behalf of her husband. “Really? You still feel that way?” I whispered, though no one besides the baby was home. “Even over Cole?”
Jasmine’s husband was a very handsome man who gave Troy a run for his money in the looks department. But more importantly, he was a good guy.
She leaned back against the couch. “It was just…different back then. I was young and everything was exciting. Troy was the first guy to really make me come. That’s not something you forget.” Jasmine leaned in and poured more wine. “And you know, I wasn’t with him long enough to tire of him. It was still fresh and new when it ended.”
My cheeks felt tingly. I didn’t quite understand my reaction. Or maybe I did, and it was just upsetting me. What she’d said about Troy had me hot and bothered for some reason, and that was…disturbing.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she said. “I’m obviously happily married. But married sex…it’s different. You get very comfortable with each other. It’s no longer about achieving the best possible orgasm or trying new things. It’s more like, can we even sneak this in before the baby wakes up?”
“Yeah, okay.” I exhaled. “I can understand that.”
Deep down, I would’ve given anything to have what Jasmine did. A gorgeous, loyal, hard-working man who seemed to worship the ground she walked on. I liked to think I could be happy being alone forever and didn’t need anyone. But I longed to find someone to share my life with. The thought of being wrapped in the arms of a loving husband at night sounded more appealing to me than some sexual tryst in high school, that was for damn sure. Nothing could replace the security of knowing someone had your back.
“Well, at least Troy was good for something back in high school,” I quipped. Then a random thought occurred to me. “Whatever happened to his mother?”
“She died when he was a baby. He never wanted to talk about it. Just said it happened before he could remember anything and left it at that. I never pried.”
“That’s sad.”
“He seemed to be alone a lot. His dad was always working his firefighter job, and his grandparents owned that bakery on Banton Street where the line was always around the corner. There was never anyone home. I certainly didn’t mind that, though, because at the time it meant we had his house to ourselves.” She laughed. “But yeah, kind of a sad upbringing.”
“That would be like if Kiki didn’t have me or my parents around twenty-four-seven.” I shook my head. “I can’t imagine.”
“How is Kiki doing?” she asked.
“She’s good. Actually, funny story, the first time I had to accompany Troy and his grandfather, I left my wallet and phone in his car. He stopped by the house to drop it off, and Kiki blasted him in the nuts with her water gun.”
Her mouth dropped. “What? Why?”
“I was in the shower when he knocked. She thought he was trying to break into the house or something. I don’t know. She’s very paranoid about everything—always making sure the doors are locked and stuff. I think it has to do with the fact that someone robbed my parents’ house one night a year ago while everyone was sleeping. Very scary. She hasn’t gotten over it. Anyway, I don’t think she meant to get Troy in the nuts. He’s just tall, and she’s short, so…”
“Well, I’d say her aim was perfect.” She laughed and took a sip of wine. “Anyway, maybe you should go for it, just for fun.”
She snuck that last part in so fast, I nearly missed it.
I stopped mid-sip. “Go for what?”
Jasmine shrugged. “Go for Troy…”
She wants me to go for her ex-boyfriend? I blinked. “Are you kidding?”
“No. I mean, you two are hanging out regularly. And from the way you’re describing it, there’s this weird sexual tension. I’m getting a vibe from you. So, I just want you to know that if for some reason you feel like going for it, that would be okay with me.”
I’m giving off a vibe? I snorted, so incredibly uncomfortable. “Sexual? That’s not what’s going on.”
“If you say so…” She smirked.
But I couldn’t seem to leave it at that. “Anyway, that really wouldn’t bother you?”
She sighed. “I mean, it would be a little weird. But it was a long time ago. And I don’t really have a right to be jealous. If you’re bored, and you’re both single, why not?”
“Um…because we don’t like each other, for one.”
“That might change.”
Sweat prickled my forehead. “No. It won’t. But more importantly, didn’t you say ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ earlier? That you’d never date him, if you were single? Why is he suddenly good enough for me?”
“I’m not suggesting you get involved with him, Aspyn. Just that you have some fun, if the opportunity presents itself.” She shrugged. “He’s good for that.”
I laughed angrily. “No, thanks. I’ll go get a root canal for some fun rather than subject myself to Troy Serrano.”
“When was the last time you were with someone?” she asked.
Ugh. “It’s been a while.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I just get caught up in the day-to-day stuff. I did recently reactivate the dating app. But the guys on there tend to want only one thing. I always cancel it soon after I join. One week is usually my limit. And even in that short time, I could make a huge collage of crazy-looking mug shots from the profiles they send me. And what the hell is it with the guys who post pictures of themselves with other women as their profile photo?”
She poured herself more wine. “They do that?”
“Yes! I don’t get it. Is that supposed to make me want to date you? It’s basically like putting up a sign that says: I’m a player. And oh my God, the worst ones are when they cut a woman out of the photo, but leave a little shred of her body in. That’s just proof of laziness on top of everything else.”
Jasmine crossed her legs and leaned back. “You never meet anyone at all worth your time?”
“Not anyone who isn’t only after one thing.”
“Well, sometimes a guy who only wants sex isn’t the worst thing in the world, as long as you’re safe. Less complicated.”
Rubbing my temples, I said, “I’m getting too old for that.”
I had fantasized about such a relationship. If I couldn’t find “the one,” then someone reliable to have sex with was the next best thing. But it took just as much effort to find the right person for that as it did to find someone worthy of more.
“What’s the alternative?” she said. “You can’t just stay celibate until you find your soulmate. What if you never do, or if it takes many years? You need to let loose.” She took a gulp of her drink. “Do it for those of us who no longer can. Shake things up before you dry up.”