“Bye,” Troy groaned.
Almost out the door, I turned back around, paranoid that Troy had been watching my ass jiggle—AKA Goofy laughing. He flashed a guilty smile. I rolled my eyes and made my way down the hall.
Twenty minutes later, I was setting up a game in the dining room when my phone chimed. It was a photo from Troy. It looked like they were at the park. His grandfather was eating his McDonald’s ice cream cone on a bench, and Troy lifted a coffee.
Troy: Drinking a black coffee in honor of you.
Grinning like a fool, I typed.
Aspyn: Does it taste as bitter as my personality?
Troy: Okay, confession. I might have snuck a little sugar in.
Aspyn: Wuss. Go pay attention to your grandfather and stop texting me before you lose him.
Troy: I only lose him when you’re with me. Anyway, he’s right here, chatting up this lady sitting across from us. I feel like a third wheel. I’m missing the fourth wheel a lot right now.
The fourth wheel? Me. Why was he turning so…mushy? He needed to stop because I was starting to fall for his shit. I slapped my own cheek. You need to remember who you’re dealing with, Aspyn. This is the same guy who cheated on your friend. The same guy who called you names behind your back, causing a rumor that you were actually crazy. (Which might have been a little correct at the time.)
My phone chimed again, snapping me out of my thoughts.
Troy: Seriously, I’m bummed that they took you off my case.
Aspyn: What are you, a criminal? You shouldn’t have a “case.” Behave so you don’t lose your privileges.
Troy: You just gave me an idea.
Aspyn: Uh-oh.
Troy: If I’m late bringing him back, will they send you out with us next time?
Aspyn: Pretty sure next time it’s gonna be Nancy accompanying you.
Troy: I’d better not risk it then. She seems mean. Like black-coffee-drinker mean.
Aspyn: Actually, from what I hear, she’s quite fond of you.
Troy: In what way?
Aspyn: In “that” way…
Troy: Really? That’s a little icky. She’s old enough to be my mother.
Aspyn: You didn’t hear that from me.
Troy: What made you wear the Goofy scrubs today?
I lied.
Aspyn: Everything else was dirty.
Troy: Like my mind…
Aspyn: Yes.
After about a minute, he wrote back again.
Troy: I really enjoyed talking to you the other night.
Heat washed through my body. I felt like I knew where this was leading, and if I agreed, it would only encourage things. So, I didn’t agree that I, too, had enjoyed our conversation.
Aspyn: Thanks again for going to the store for me.
Troy: How’s Kiki doing with everything?
Aspyn: She’s hanging in there. Getting used to her new normal.
Troy: I’m glad she’s okay.
Aspyn: How’s Patrick?
Troy: Still rubbing his asshole on my feet.
Aspyn: LOL
Troy: I’d better let you tend to your games.
Aspyn: Yeah. Good idea.
Troy: Don’t leave until I get to say goodbye later. I’ll meet you out in the parking lot after your shift.
My heart fluttered. Shit.
Despite organizing several card games that afternoon, my mind wandered as I wondered what Troy and his grandfather were up to. I hadn’t realized until today just how much I’d looked forward to hanging out with them.
When 4 PM rolled around, I wasn’t surprised to find Troy waiting for me out in the parking lot, as promised. What did surprise me? He was holding a bouquet of flowers. Upon closer look, they were roses. Black roses.
“What’s this?”
He held them out to me. “These are for you.”
I smelled them. “Did your grandfather buy them?”
“No. This time it was all me. They’re to thank you for putting up with my ass these past few weeks and chaperoning me. Black is more fitting for you, don’t you think? You’re no boring yellow rose. You’re the black rose. Deep, mysterious, complex…and beautiful.”
My heart was practically pounding out of my chest.
Stop.
I cleared my throat and sniffed them again. “Well, thank you. They’re really nice.”
“Can we talk about how much it sucks that I no longer have an excuse to see you twice a week? I feel like it’s the end of a small era.”
I wanted to stomp on my heart right now. I couldn’t allow myself to continue to react to this man. Butterflies had been swarming in my damn belly all afternoon—from the moment I’d caught him looking so down when he found out I wasn’t joining them today. As much as I hated to admit it, I had a massive crush on him that had apparently started to suck the rationality out of me. Case in point, my intentionally wearing the Goofy scrubs I knew he loved. I was setting myself up for failure.
“What are the chances you’d let me take you out this weekend?” he asked, interrupting my thoughts.
A wave of panic swept over me as my heart wrangled with my better judgment.
“I can’t do this anymore, Troy…” I blurted.
“Oh…kay?” The color drained from his face.
I understood why he might’ve been confused by my response. Things had been going well between us. I had every reason to say yes. But the underlying fear that I was somehow being punked by this man just wouldn’t let up.
“I’m sorry for reacting so abruptly.” Staring down into the roses, I said, “I just don’t see this ending well.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “In what way?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to get closer to you.”
“Because you don’t trust that I only want to be your friend…”
“It’s not just that. I don’t trust myself.”
He took a few steps closer. “Elaborate.”
“I’m only human. And…I can see this going in the wrong direction if we keep spending so much time together under the façade of friendship.”
I could feel the heat of his body. “The wrong direction… What does that mean?”
“I think you know what it means.”
“You think I want to sleep with you…” He paused for several seconds. “You’re right.”
My eyes widened. “I am?”
“I’m very attracted to you, yes. I want to sleep with you very badly. And when we argue…” His eyes rolled back a little. “I want to fuck you even more.”
That eye roll and what he’d just said made the muscles between my legs contract, just another indication of my lack of control. My body buzzed as my breathing sped up. But I said nothing—I was speechless.