“Julian,” Hazel said with remarkable patience. “At the risk of repeating myself, brother, you’re kind of an idiot.”
“I know. I’m being ridiculous. But I love him so much, and I… wait, what time is it now?”
She sighed. “Time for me to call Dad and tell him that you need him to arrange that private plane timeshare thing he doesn’t use nearly often enough to justify the cost, while you find your passport.”
“Hazel, I adore you,” I said fervently.
“Back atcha. Just go get your man. Tell him I love him. And tell Erin to fucking call me. Okay?”
I agreed happily, but privately I knew that before I delivered any of Hazel’s messages, I was going to deliver my own. I was going to tell Parker that I loved him, and I was going to make sure he knew I chose him, too…come hell or high water.
But it wasn’t until I walked into the bar of the exclusive resort a few hours later to find Parker and Erin grinning at one another while Lorraine Rokas embraced them and cried, “I always knew you two belonged together!” that I realized exactly what hell looked like.
19
PARKER
By the time I landed in Mexico, I was hot, sweaty, annoyed, and cursing Julian for encouraging me on this stupid journey. I was tired of helping Erin out of trouble. Yes, I was the kind of friend who’d help someone in need, and yes, I prided myself for being there for my friends, but part of me resented this particular time because it was once again Erin pulling me away from Julian without a care in the world for what I wanted and what I needed. Why the hell had I let Julian encourage me to come down here when it felt so wrong to be away from him right now?
One of my flights had been delayed, and then I’d ended up seated next to an airsick toddler on the final leg to Mexico. The small, cramped customs hall had been overheated and understaffed, so when my taxi finally pulled up outside of the exclusive beachfront resort, I heaved a breath of blessed relief.
If only Julian had been there with me. I hadn’t asked him to come because I understood the importance of his meeting with Tiller and Mikey, especially if we wanted to pursue our plan to move to Aster Valley full-time. But I missed him. I’d only had Julian as my official boyfriend for a matter of hours, and now I was separated from him by hundreds or thousands of miles.
I’d tried texting him several times but hadn’t gotten any response yet.
Me: I love you. Good luck in the meeting.
Me: I resent having to fly through Texas to get to Mexico. But… I did have a decent taco during the layover, so there’s that.
Me: Don’t let that weird handyman guy in the house. I got a creepy vibe off him. And who names an old man Tiny? Lock the doors tonight.
Me: What’s the name of that guy who was in the movie with the thing?
Me: One of the Wilson brothers. Does it really matter which one?
Me: If I’m into guys now, do I care which Wilson brother it was?
Me: Can I just be into you and not other guys? I don’t think I care about any of the Wilson brothers. I mean… I like them in movies, I guess. But I wouldn’t want to touch their dicks.
Me: A nun just saw me type the word dicks. Pretty sure I’m on Jesus’s shit list now.
Me: Why didn’t you remind me to wear flip flops? My feet are sweating in these boots.
Me: img90478.jpg
Me: That was a picture of the inside of my pocket. Sorry.
Me: I love you. Text me back or I’m getting on the next flight back to Denver.
Me: Okay, that was a lie. I need a few hours away from airports and airplanes. But text me anyway.
Me: I wish you were here.
I hated not hearing back from him. Julian and I had the kind of relationship where we told each other everything. If I didn’t tell Julian something, it was like it hadn’t happened at all.
So not hearing from him made me even testier. I entered the wide, open-air lobby of the resort and felt the sea breeze hit my skin. Okay, that was nice. I took a deep breath and tried to shake off the travel stress. I’d never been an easy traveler. It was one of the reasons I’d quit skiing professionally.
A young woman in a crisp white cotton blouse and floral skirt approached with a tray of fruity drinks and a cheerful welcome to the resort.
“Bless you,” I said with a smile, taking the glass and enjoying the icy, sweet drink. It went down way too easy.
After taking a second quick sip, I asked her to point me in the direction of the bar where Erin had told me to meet her. I followed the woman down a set of wide stone steps and out of the building on the beach side. The place was a massive resort for adults only set way off the beaten path on its own long stretch of pristine sandy beachfront. The water was an impossible aquamarine sparkling in the tropical sun, so different from the frigid Colorado winter I’d left earlier this morning.
Erin was sitting at a table under the large palapa that covered the bar. She looked beautiful as always, with her blond hair swept off her neck and a tan already warming her skin. But the dark smudges under her eyes showed she hadn’t been sleeping well, and the salad in front of her had barely been picked over.
I texted Jules one more time.
Me: I’m here. She looks really sad. Wish me luck.
“Hey,” I said, sliding the phone into my pocket.
When she noticed me, Erin let out a sound that was a combination of happy, relieved, and surprised before launching herself out of the chair and hugging me tight. My arms came around her automatically, lifting her off the floor the way we’d done a million times before.
“Thank god you’re here,” she said against my ear. “Ugh, what a cluster.”
Her body was so familiar to me, soft and warm, clean-smelling and light. But my reaction was very different. I held her close as a beloved friend, someone I knew well and cherished, just like I always had, but she was not Julian, so I no longer tried to make myself believe that my feelings for her were more than friendship or to wonder why I couldn’t feel more passion for the prettiest woman in the room.
It all seemed so obvious, in retrospect.
I gently pulled away and took the chair next to hers, raising my hand to a nearby server and ordering a large bottle of water as well as another rum punch.
“How are you holding up?” I asked when she settled back into her own seat.
Her chin began to wobble before she spoke. “Oh, Parks. I made a huge mistake.”
“You did,” I agreed. “Driving a Jet Ski while you were drinking? Fuck’s sake, Erin. You know better.”
She sniffed. “Not that. I—I mean, yes, that too, obviously,” she added quickly once she caught sight of the look on my face. “But even before.”
I figured she was talking about Nolan. Part of me wanted to put my arm around her and make her feel better, because god knew that I had done some stupid shit for people I’d dated—like agreeing to marry Erin in the first place—but the other part of me knew she needed something besides sympathy.
“I think you’re lucky you only ended up losing a few thousand bucks and your passport,” I said severely. “You could’ve gotten seriously injured, like Julian did. Remember how awful that was, Erin? Remember how close we came to losing him? One driver made a stupid choice and almost destroyed my whole world.”