We said nothing more. There was nothing else to be said. I left him then.
Crown
Men always want to be a woman’s first love.
That is their clumsy vanity.
We women have a more subtle instinct about things:
What we like is to be a man’s last romance.
—Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance
Chapter Thirty-Five
“Do you know why the dauphin asked us to meet him in the Hall of Mirrors?” I asked Diane as we stood off to the side of the rest of the girls milling about the gallery.
“No idea. He was supposed to be taking us each out on one-on-one outings today. Maybe he has an announcement to make. Perhaps he’s sending someone home. Hopefully not us.”
Diane nudged me with her shoulder and smiled cheekily. My answering smile was much less enthusiastic. I’d ended my affair with Auguste out of necessity, but I couldn’t stop dreaming of him, of what our lives might have been like if he was the one courting me instead of Louis. It was incredibly frustrating. Surely a little time apart would lessen my ardor for him.
“The dauphin isn’t sending one of us home,” Duchesse Maria said, appearing at our sides so suddenly that Diane and I both jumped. “He’s sending all of us home. All but one.”
Diane’s face paled. She grabbed my wrist and squeezed so tightly, I was sure there would be bruises tomorrow. In truth, I appreciated the contact. It kept me grounded after the shock of the duchesse’s news.
“What? How do you know?” Diane asked, her gaze boring into the duchesse with an intensity I’d never seen from her before.
All talking in the room ceased as the dauphin made his entrance into the gallery. His appearance was so unexpected that some curtsies were more delayed than others, girls dipping and popping up in a decidedly ungraceful manner. When I rose from my own curtsy, I realized that the dauphin wasn’t alone on the red-velvet-lined dais. Auguste stood at his side, resplendent in a blue justaucorps and silver waistcoat that gleamed brilliantly in the sunlight, his eyes fixed on me. I tore my eyes away and focused deliberately on the dauphin, who thankfully hadn’t noticed his brother’s interest in me. What was Auguste doing here? I needed to remain perfectly composed in front of Louis, and I wasn’t sure that I could do so with Auguste so close, observing every move I made.
“Mesdemoiselles, thank you for meeting me here on this glorious day,” the dauphin said, arms spread wide, looking every inch a king in his red justaucorps embroidered with the fleur-de-lis. “I know that we were scheduled to go on outings today, but the plan has changed. I’ve decided that I cannot wait any longer. France must have her dauphine, and I must have my wife. It is imperative that the realm be made whole. So, today, I will choose my bride.”
Gasps and shocked cries erupted from the assembled ladies. Diane squeezed my hand even more viciously, her entire body trembling. I glanced at Duchesse Maria, who only inclined her head at me, surprisingly serene for the occasion. Did I appear as calm as she did? I hoped so, because inside I was trying very hard not to throw up. And it was a struggle. How unbecoming it would be for Lady Cendrillon de Louvois to vomit all over the marble floors of the Hall of Mirrors.
“Please know that every single one of you who remains is absolutely worthy of becoming my wife. Both myself and the king offer you our deepest thanks for participating in the competition and will hold you always in the highest esteem as valued members of the court. But only one can win my hand.”
The dauphin paused and cast his eyes across the gallery. What a showman he was. But if he didn’t hurry up and reveal the winner, many of the girls, including me, were going to faint from the anticipation.
“I’m not sure how many of you know this, but I haven’t always been the charming, compassionate prince that you see before you. I’m not too proud to admit that I was once spoiled and selfish, preoccupied with my own gratification. The lady that I’ve chosen once bore the brunt of my selfishness.”
Ice water flooded my veins at the dauphin’s words.
“But in all her elegance, grace, and kindness,” he continued, “she was willing to forgive me and look past my youthful indiscretions, capturing my heart in the process. Qualities such as these are exactly what France needs in her future queen, which is why I will be taking to wife Lady Cendrillon de Louvois.”
Diane squeaked and pulled me into a quick hug, one I didn’t reciprocate.
“Congratulations, Cendrillon. I’m so happy for you!”
“Yes, indeed. Congratulations. You will make a wonderful dauphine,” Maria said with a warm smile that did nothing to soothe me.
The dauphin, Diane, and Maria were the only happy people in the room. I could see the glares of all the rest of the girls reflected back at me in the mirrors running down the walls, trapping me in an endless parade of anger and disappointment. Severine started to sob openly, Alexandre’s ministrations doing nothing to soothe her.
And Auguste. His face was tight and his jaw clenched as he looked everywhere but at me. This was worse than banishment. Worse even than death. I would see him every day but never be able to love him. What was I thinking? I should never have entered the competition knowing my heart lay elsewhere.
I had loved Auguste since the very first day at the Orangerie, when he was kind to me. I had always loved Auguste.
An invisible force was pressing down on my chest, stealing the breath from my lungs. I should have been the happiest girl in all France. I was being given the privilege of marrying the dauphin. It was a privilege many would kill for. Many of the girls in the gallery looked like they wanted to kill for it. They could have it.
Except . . . Lady Catherine and Severine would never treat me poorly again. They would never even dream of whispering a word against me. I could set up Elodie and her shop and get Marius away from that terrible farmer who beat him. Maman and Papa would have been so proud if they could’ve seen me. Maman especially would have been beside herself with joy. Becoming the dauphine of France was so far beyond even the life as an influential courtier that she’d wanted for me. And Lady Françoise . . .
The dauphin held his arms out to me and said, “Lady Cendrillon, please join me on the dais and take your place by my side.”
I didn’t move. A wave of whispers spread throughout the crowd. Auguste finally looked at me, his brow furrowed. The sunlight streaming in through the windows cast him in a golden glow, illuminating the strong planes of his face. He was the handsomest man I’d ever seen.
“Lady Cendrillon,” Prince Louis said again as he climbed down from the dais and started to make his way toward me.
Before we came to Versailles, Lady Françoise told me that I didn’t have to worry about disappointing Maman and Papa, because if I was happy, they would be happy. She would have wanted me to be happy too. If I married the dauphin, I would be safe, but I wouldn’t be happy. I couldn’t do that to myself. Or Auguste. If only things could have been different. I’d fallen in love with the wrong prince.