“I can’t run away, Brooklyn. Your father made it very clear that he had a three-strike policy. I already have two. Because even though your dad was grateful that I said I’d come with you, he took it as a confession for what was going on between us. The beating me up wasn’t just for show to the rest of the staff. That was my second strike.”
“What happens if you get a third?” I knew the answer. But I still felt compelled to ask. I needed to hear him say it. I needed to remember just how dangerous my dad was.
Miller didn’t respond though.
I slid my hand into his and squeezed it. “Please just say it. I know my dad’s a horrible man.”
“I’m lucky to even be alive right now after what happened at homecoming. Your father doesn’t usually give out any strikes. It’s either you do it the right way or you end up six feet under. Which is where I’ll be if I don’t follow his orders one more time.”
“And what are his orders?” I was pretty sure I knew the answer to that already too.
“To protect you.”
I wished I could see his face in the darkness. “And that’s it?”
He slid his hand out of mine. “And to not lay a finger on you.”
Oh. I swallowed hard. “You already broke that last one.”
“Which is why I should probably go.” He stood up but I didn’t hear him walking toward the door.
I wanted to ask him to stay. But I couldn’t. This wasn’t a game. This was life or death. “I wish my dad left off that last part.”
“Me too.”
I’d hurt Miller. I’d chosen Matt over him. And yet…here he was. “You don’t have to hold me as I cry myself to sleep. I’ve never wanted anyone’s pity.”
“That’s not why I held you last night. I never stopped liking you, Brooklyn. You stopped liking me.”
“I never stopped liking you.” But I loved Matt. I loved him with every fiber of my being. He consumed me. But I never stopped liking Miller. “All I want to do is ask you to stay the night again. I don’t want you to get in trouble though.”
“I have a really hard time walking away from you when I know you’re hurting.”
“I’m okay, Miller. I’m going to be okay.”
“That didn’t sound convincing at all.”
I laughed. The noise sounded strange in my throat. And I realized I hadn’t laughed since Isabella fell through the ceiling. And for some reason tears were falling down my cheeks. I was suddenly happy that we were in a dark room. I didn’t know what else to say. Because I was seconds away from begging him to stay. I cleared my throat. “So it’ll just be you and me somewhere after this. No nurses or anything. And no communication with the outside world.”
“And a virtual tutor,” he said.
Right. One that wasn’t allowed to see my face. “Completely isolated.”
“That’s going to make it even harder not to touch you.”
It felt like there was a knife in my chest. I missed Matt. Desperately. So why did I so badly want Miller to climb back into my bed? Why did everything hurt so damned much? I tried to wipe away my tears undetected, but I stupidly let out a sniffle.
“The thought of being alone with me makes you cry?” His voice was soft.
“No, it’s not that. It’s that I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay all night. I want you to hold me and tell me everything’s going to be okay. But I shouldn’t want that. Because I’m engaged to someone else. Was engaged. I need to talk to Matt.” I hated how much I was crying. “I’m so confused.”
“It’s okay.” He climbed back into my bed and pulled me against his chest. “Like you said…you’re going to be okay.”
“But you didn’t believe me when I said it.”
“I’m saying it now though. And it’s kind of my job to make sure it comes true.”
Miller was too good to be true. I wanted to hold him close because I knew better than anyone that I never got to feel content for long. I just needed a few minutes to feel like I wasn’t falling apart.
We were both silent. Because he knew he shouldn’t be in my bed. And I knew I shouldn’t have started crying to make him feel obligated. But I was pretty sure neither of us wanted to move. He didn’t even care that I’d just soaked the front of his shirt with my tears. We just…stayed completely still.
“You said I wouldn’t want to know the specifics of the conversation you had with my dad,” I said, keeping my head resting on his chest. “But I do want to know. Can you tell me the whole story?”
“Brooklyn…”
“Please. I need to know what happened.”
He ran his thumb beneath my eye to help wipe away my tears. “He told me his plan to make you disappear. He asked if I wanted to be the one to go with you. And he let me know that he’d have to make it look like I’d died too. He told me upfront that he would make a scene about it in front of the rest of the staff.”
“You said yes even though you knew he’d hurt you?”
“It didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to trust your life in the hands of someone else. I didn’t even hesitate. I said yes.”
Miller was the most selfless person I knew. He’d agreed to go with me right away? “And then what?”
“He said, ‘Right answer. Or else you’d be dead.’ And I didn’t know what he meant. But he made it pretty clear as a few of his thugs beat the shit out of me. I’m not sure which part of it was for show and what was real. But he seemed pissed.” He stopped talking like he was lost in his thoughts.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what else my dad said to him. Or how badly he’d been hurt. It was bad or else he’d turn the lights on. “And then what?”
He started absentmindedly drawing little circles on my back with his fingers. “They knocked me out. I woke up here too. End of story.”
“Why does that not seem like the end of the story?” It seemed like he’d skipped a whole lot of important details.
“Well, not the end exactly. How could it possibly be the end? If anything it feels like a new beginning.”
That wasn’t at all what I expected him to say. “Being trapped here with me feels like a new beginning?”
“Being far away from Mr. Pruitt definitely feels like a fresh start. I never thought I’d ever get to leave that apartment.”
Right. That made sense.
“And if I could choose anyone to be stranded with…it would be you.”
My chest ached a little less when he said that. It shouldn’t have. But I’d be lying if I said I felt nothing. I’d meant what I said earlier. I’d never stopped liking him. How could I possibly?
“It’s okay,” he said. “You don’t have to say it back. I know you’re thinking about Matt.”
I didn’t want to talk about Matt right now. I couldn’t even think about him without feeling paralyzed. What was he doing right now? Was he missing me? Was he grieving me? “I’m glad you’re here too, Miller. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He held me a little closer.