He looked over at me with his dark brown eyes. There was a smile playing on the corner of his lips. “No.”
“Don’t look so cocky. I wasn’t checking you out. There’s just literally nothing out here. This is the worst game ever. Can’t we just knock on someone’s door and ask if we can use their bathroom?”
“No. That would be super weird.”
“Weirder than me peeing in the passenger’s seat? My bladder is literally about to explode here.”
He laughed.
“It’s not funny!”
“We can’t knock on a stranger’s door. No one’s supposed to see you.”
Fair point. Not that I was totally opposed to being alive again. “But seriously, Miller, I can’t hold it much longer.”
He started driving a little faster. There was no way we were going in the right direction.
I started humming to myself. Damn it. I was legit going to pee my pants.
Miller pulled over to the side of the road. “Go ahead.”
I looked out the window at the rows and rows of corn stalks. Um…what? “I can’t pee on the side of the road! I’ll be arrested!”
“Well don’t just drop your pants right on the side of the road. Hide behind some of the corn stalks. Be discreet about it. I’ll keep lookout.” He reached across me and opened up my door. “Go.”
But… God. I didn’t exactly have any other options. “But there’s no toilet paper.” It was my last line of defense. I couldn’t pee on someone’s farmland. There was zero way this was happening.
“Use this.” He pulled off his hoodie and tossed it at me.
Um…what now? “You want me to use your hoodie as toilet paper? That’s a bit extreme. Don’t you have something…smaller?”
He shrugged.
Okay, fine. This was happening. I didn’t have time to overthink it or I’d pee myself. I stumbled out of the car with his hoodie in my hand and ran through the corn stalks until I was a safe distance away from the road and any prying eyes. I dropped my pants and squatted down just in time to not pee all over myself.
I sighed. I felt so much better. But I really wished I’d had a pen and paper to try to leave a note to the farmhands that I was being kidnapped and needed help. And then I started laughing. I started laughing and I couldn’t stop. What the fuck was my life?
I was about to wipe with Miller’s hoodie, but then thought better of it. The corn stalks were dry and sad. I was pretty sure they were harvested in the summer, not the fall. So I looked around and grabbed a leaf. I quickly wiped and pulled up my pants.
Whenever I saw Matt again we could laugh about this. I was pretty sure he’d find it hilarious. Rob definitely would. God, I really missed my friends. The cool autumn wind blew and I pulled Miller’s hoodie on.
Part of me wanted to turn around and just keep running through the corn stalks. To get as far away from my dad as possible. I looked off into the distance at the woods. But I’d never do that to Miller. I shook my head and retreated back to the SUV.
Miller eyed me as I climbed back in the car.
“What?”
“Did you…use that to wipe and then put it on?”
I started laughing again. “No. I was resourceful.”
He started laughing too. “I have no idea what you mean by that. Did you wipe with an ear of corn?”
“No.” I lightly shoved his shoulder.
He winced and I pulled back.
“I’m so sorry. I…” Oh my God. He was only wearing a t-shirt now. There were deep cuts and bruises all over his arms.
“It’s okay. It was worth seeing you laugh.”
I forced a smile back onto my face.
He cleared his throat. “I called your dad and got directions. We should probably get back on the road.”
“Here, let me give this back…” I started to pull off his hoodie but he caught my arm.
“No, keep it. I’m overheated. And it looks better on you anyway.”
Before I could respond, he pulled the car back on the road.
I was happy he wasn’t hiding his scars from me anymore. I was even happier that the smell of his cologne was on the hoodie. I felt myself sinking into my seat, surrounded by the warmth of the hoodie. It was like a big Miller hug.
“Are you sniffing my hoodie?” he asked.
“What? No.” I pulled the front of it down, away from my face.
We were both quiet for a long time. We eventually pulled back onto I-95, driving down the highway.
“I missed you too, you know,” he finally said, breaking the silence.
I looked over at him. His eyes were still trained on the road. I guess wanting to smell his cologne probably was confession enough on my side. I slid my hand onto the center console. I wasn’t sure what I was reaching for. A peace offering? Was I just desperate for physical comfort in the form of his hand? Or was it more?
He slid his hand into mine.
I stared down at his hand. It wasn’t mine to hold. And yet…I didn’t want to let go.
Chapter 14
Thursday
“Hey.” Miller lightly touched my shoulder. “We’re here.”
I yawned and slowly opened my eyes. The combination of his warm hoodie and his comforting scent all around me must have put me right to sleep. I blinked and looked out the window. “Holy shit.” I was expecting some kind of old wooden cabin in the middle of nowhere. Not…this. I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out of the car.
The sound of waves crashing in the distance soothed my soul. And the smell of salty air. And the call of the seagulls. I used to go to the beach all the time with my mom. Every summer until she got sick. I swallowed hard.
“No so bad, huh?”
When my mom and I used to walk along the beach, we would take turns pointing to the big beach houses lining the coast, saying which ones we’d own when we were older. It was a stupid game. But I was young and naïve. I didn’t know that she’d almost had it all. Or that she didn’t have enough life left to chase any more dreams.
And now that I was standing here staring at one of the monstrosities? I wanted to laugh. I wanted to cry. I just…wanted my mom back. I blinked fast, hoping I could keep my tears at bay.
I turned to look at Miller. “This is where we’re staying?”
“Yup.” He closed my car door and locked it. “Welcome home.” He started walking up the drive.
I quickly followed him. “Wait. You can’t be serious. I thought we were supposed to be in hiding. Not on vacation.”
Milled laughed. “The busy season is over. I’m sure your dad will move us before summer starts. The beach is pretty deserted right now though.” He unlocked the front door and held it open for me.
I couldn’t even believe it when I walked across the threshold. It was decorated just like a beach house should be. Blue and turquoise paintings and accents everywhere that matched the color of the ocean, beige walls the color of sand, and so many seashells. There were seashells everywhere. Paintings of seashells on the walls and actual seashells in glass lamps and on the coffee table. It was elegant and somehow cozy at the same time. Which was not the vibe I’d been expecting. “There’s no way this place belongs to my father.”