We eat in comfortable silence, well, Jarred and I do, but the tension radiating off of Zaria is palpable. Joy breaks the ice when she asks, “So tell us about your family?” The silver fork tumbles from Zaria’s fingers, and she glances away from us.
“Her father just died,” I say callously, not to hurt her, but more to get a reaction out of her. The tears that she shed earlier are an indication that she still hurts, and I know that pain. It never goes away.
Her gaze lands on me, the rage she’s attempting to shoot my way is clear. I deserve it. Never once have I claimed to be a good person. There are only a handful of people I’m loyal to, and she’s not earned my loyalty yet.
“I’m so sorry, dear,” Joy says, taking Zaria’s trembling hand before offering her a tissue. For a moment, I wonder if those are fake tears. I’ve watched girls online; I’ve seen what they do for the attention—filters and smiles—nothing is ever real.
Another reason I didn’t want to go through with this. I recall Eloise, remembering how transparent she was at times. But then, when it came down to it, she faked her smiles to throw everyone off the path of her destruction. Even me.
Anger surges inside me as I shove a forkful of food into my mouth.
“My mother has taken over the company. She’s trying to make sure my father’s legacy lives on.” Zaria’s words are broken, tainted with pain. And when she looks at me with those golden eyes, I recognize the genuine heartbreak in them.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jarred says then, shocking me silent. “I know what it’s like to lose people you love.” His voice cracks and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him show a stranger his emotions. But as soon as they appeared, he schools them once more and sits back. “Thank you for dinner, Joy.” He pushes to his feet and offers me a look before he says his goodbyes. I watch him leave, and my chest tightens. My lungs struggle to pull in air as he disappears and I’m left with a girl I don’t know, the same one I’m not sure I want to know.
“I think you can take Zaria around the property tomorrow, show her the lay of the land,” Joy suggests. “And then maybe you all can go into town.” Her words snap me back to the table, and I realize I’d been staring at the door for too long.
“Sure.” It’s a response I know she’d like to hear, but Joy doesn’t realize this isn’t the same as what Damien and Nesrin had. It’s also not Kaly and Cass. I’m not my brothers. I can’t have someone in my life, in my space, that doesn’t understand it.
And I don’t want to sit and explain it to a stranger.
“I’m going to bed,” I announce before I push to my feet. “Dinner was lovely as always Joy.” My words are muttered absentmindedly. I pray she doesn’t notice, but I’m out of the kitchen before she can say anything.
I’m not sure where I’m heading, but I need fresh air.
I need to figure this out because I can’t live in secret forever.
8
ZARIA
The moment I step out into the garden, I inhale a deep breath. Dinner was a disaster. Finn saw me crying like a child in my bedroom. But at least his friend seems nice. With the sky pitch black now, the stars shimmer overhead. I take a step off the patio and make my way to the enormous glasshouse that sits in the garden. I didn’t notice it from my bedroom window, but now that I’m here, I realize it’s just out of sight from my room.
Inside, I’m assaulted by the beautiful scent of flowers. I move deeper into the space and take in the different colors. Even in the dimly lit space, I can tell the colors of the roses. They’ve always been my favorite flower. Perhaps it’s my mother’s influence and that’s why she named me Zaria, which originates in Arabic and means rose. A smile lifts the corners of my mouth when I think about being a child and having two loving parents. They did do their best, up until I reached my teen years.
I blink and a tear tumbles from my eye, landing on the petal of a deep purple rose. I lean in and inhale the fragrance. Suddenly, the back of my neck prickles with knowing. I’m not alone. I move slowly as I stand up to find the guy who was with Finn tonight standing in the doorway.
“Exploring your new home,” he says with a smirk. He’s handsome. Just like Finn. But the difference is, that this guy has tattoos running up his arms, and I spied a few on his neck when we sat at dinner. His eyes are the color of a crescent moon, and the piercings that glint in the light are the complete opposite to Finn.
“I love flowers,” I tell him.
“Then you’ll get along very well with your mother-in-law,” he remarks as he steps deeper into the glass house. He doesn’t come close though, there is quite a lot of distance between us and I’m thankful. After my altercation with Finn earlier, I don’t need another hand in my hair and a threat of a stranger’s cock in my mouth, or anywhere else for that matter.
“He’s not a bad person, you know,” the guy says. I want to call him a boy because he looks so young, but I’m almost certain he’s Finn’s age. He doesn’t look at me when he speaks. “He’s just a little bit broken.”
“Aren’t we all a little bit broken?” I offer, which causes those silver eyes to land on me. “I mean, life has broken everyone in one way or another. Nobody is perfect, even if their mask is firmly in place.”
He ponders my words for a moment before he nods. “True. However, there are masks and then there are lies.” As he says this, he offers me a pointed look as if he’s talking about me. But then again, he can’t be talking about me because he doesn’t know me. Unless Finn has told him about my public persona. And like I told Finn last night, you cannot judge a book by its cover.
My brows furrow in confusion. “Judging someone before you know them is a form of a lie. You tell yourself the truths that you want to hear, but you don’t actually know the whole story.”
“And what is the whole story, princess?” Finn’s voice cuts through the darkness like a blade slicing through skin and bone. Shadows dance across his angular jaw, making his appearance seem almost sinister. He’s wearing a black hoodie, which covers his hair, and all I can see is his perfectly-sculpted face. “Jarred, do you think she’s ready to live at Thorne Manor?” he questions his friend and now I know his name.
“Or are you too afraid to tell us both?” This comes from Jarred, who’s regarding me with amusement. When I was in here alone, I felt calm; when he walked in, nerves set in, and now, I’m tense. Anxious energy zips through me as I take in both men.
“It may seem like my life is perfect,” I whisper. “But it’s far from it.” I don’t know why I’m about to spew my guts to them, but if I don’t, they’ll never accept me. Both men have been broken; Jarred admitted as much. Even if Finn may never tell me the reasons for his anger, I won’t allow him to treat me like a liar.
“Oh?” This comes from Finn as he closes the distance between us. He’s tall, and even though he’s not huge, there’s a menace to him that makes me shiver. Nothing gets past him, and when he realizes I’m afraid, the corner of his mouth quirks. “Then perhaps we should see how well you handle the dark,” he says as he reaches for my hair. His finger tangles in the lock and he tugs it hard.