Finn is silent for a long moment. He ponders my words. They’re true because I’ve lived the life he’s trying to. My family thought I was straight, and I allowed them to believe it. For years, I hid my feelings, until one night my mother found me with a guy, kissing, hands everywhere. And that’s when my parents flipped out.
I’ve never told Finn what happened after that. He knows I left home, but he doesn’t know the real reason I was no longer living with my parents. Deep down, I want so much to tell him, to admit my sordid past, but I’m not sure I can. Not yet.
My feelings for him are far stronger than his for me. At least for now. But if I keep pushing him, I’m certain I’ll end up pushing him away, and that’s the last thing I want or need. I was being truthful when I told him I wouldn’t leave. There’s no way in hell I can walk away from Finn Thorne.
“I know,” he finally answers, before pulling on his T-shirt and then a hoodie. I watch as his sweats slip up his muscular thighs, and then, I’m left with nothing but his handsome face to look at. “Give me time.”
“Time is all we have,” I throw back. It might sound cliché, but it’s true.
We sit in silence as the night steals the day. And when it’s dark out, and the moon hangs heavily like a beacon in the inky sky, we stand and make our way back to the house. Through the forest, with every step we take, we move nearer to Finn’s fiancée, who’s waiting back at the manor.
Suddenly, I’m shoved against a tree. The thick trunk digging into my back and Finn is on me. His mouth claiming mine in a heated kiss. Our tongues duel for dominance, and with both of us being so damn alpha male all the time, it’s a fight we’re both about to lose. My hands grip his ass, and I pull him closer, feeling his cock, thick and hard, as it presses against my thigh.
“It’s the last kiss for a couple of days,” Finn hisses against my mouth before tugging my lower lip between his teeth. He bites down hard, until a strong and tangy, metallic flavor bursts on our tongues. Finn laps at my mouth, and we share the crimson fluid between us in one last heated kiss.
The moment we break from our connection, I shiver. It’s cold without him close to me. Finn is like a human heater, and I’ve always enjoyed nuzzling against him when we would sleep up on the roof to get away from his family.
“I can handle a couple of days,” I tell him as we breach the property. But before we go inside, I whisper, “just not forever.” He doesn’t hear it, but I know he can tell I’m tense. I don’t know why I ever got involved with him, but the day his mother left, was the day I realized there was more to the beautiful, broken boy. When I first arrived at Thorne Manor all those years ago, I was convinced he was just another spoiled rich kid. He gave off the air of the playboy even in his teens. Girls used to fawn over him and he basked in the attention. But then, one night, I found him up on the roof of the manor. I had been exploring the house each night, and stumbled across the steps to the top.
Finn stood on the edge, and my heart had dropped to my feet when I saw him up there, balancing precariously, as if he would jump at any time. I shouted out to him, and in hindsight, it wasn’t the best thing to do to someone standing on the edge. But I couldn’t help myself.
He turned and regarded me as if I were insignificant, but he came down and flopped onto the mattress that had been placed there by his brothers. I later learned they would hide up there as kids. We laid side by side, watching the stars as Finn told me he was ready to end it all. I didn’t understand how someone so perfect could seek death instead of life.
But he divulged his secrets to me and I never once uttered them to anyone else. I kept them locked up tight in a box, along with my heart. I knew from that day, I was falling for him. There wasn’t anything I could do to stop it either. It was as if nature had taken its course and I had no control over my fate.
I don’t believe in all that shit. But when I met Finn Thorne, I truly believed my broken parts, all those dark little demons that plagued me daily, had found their match. And they don’t want anyone else.
The house is Illuminated when we reach the patio, and I wonder where the girl is. Finn told me his father wanted this union. And sure, we’ve shared girls before, but the idea of marriage seemed foreign to me. I believe it’s an archaic demonstration of stupidity. It makes no sense to bind yourself to one person forever. Life is too short for such limits.
Finn turns to regard me from over his shoulder, the corner of his mouth quirking as those demons twinkle in his eyes. And I know that as much as I abhor the idea of saying, I do, to anyone, I would say it to Finn.
“Ready?” he asks, one dark brow arched.
I don’t know if I am, but I nod anyway. “I guess so. It’s not like I’m going to have to sleep with her.” The words fall from my lips unbidden, and I want nothing more than to pull them back and hide them in that same little box I’ve named heartbreak because that’s where this road is headed.
Finn reaches back, his fingertips brush along mine for a split second before he opens the door and we step inside. The delicious fragrance of Joy’s cooking assaults our senses, and my stomach rumbles.
“There you are,” Joy says as she notices Finn, but then her eyes land on me, and there’s a small secret smile when she takes us in. “Were you two swimming again?”
“Yeah,” Finn answers for us. “It wasn’t too bad out there.” The lie slips easily from his lips. It was freezing, but I’ve found that there are times he doesn’t even notice the cold.
“Well sit down, the girl is here. Zaria.” Joy tests the name slowly, and then nods as she turns back to the stove. “I’ll get the table ready for dinner. Cassian and Kalyn aren’t joining us,” Joy continues talking.
“I’m going to change,” Finn announces, before leaving me in the kitchen. My gaze darts to Joy. I’ve known her for years, and she knows most of my past. There’s something maternal about her and when she asks a question, you tend to answer truthfully.
“I know that you’re in love with him,” she says softly, but I hear her. Even though I’m standing at the table and she’s feet away. “And I know he loves you.”
My heart jolts against my ribs, making it difficult to breathe. “What?” The shock is clear in my voice. My feet carry me forward until I’m standing beside her.
She offers me a smile. “It’s clear to me because I know you both so well.” Her voice is tinged with sadness, and I wonder if she’s rooting for Finn and me. “He does love you,” she tells me earnestly, before looking into my eyes. “There’s no doubt about it. And I know he’ll never be able to walk away from you.”
“What makes you say that?” Curiosity gets the better of me, even though I’m not sure I want to hop on this rollercoaster.
She closes the steaming pot and flicks off the gas before turning to me. “I’ve seen love and loss while living and working in this house. The way he looks at you, there’s a yearning that’s palpable. It may not be noticeable to everyone,” she says, then continues, “but I can see it. He lights up when you’re around. Trust him, I know he’ll find a way to make this work.”