Since the wedding, both Jarred and Finn have been attentive, affectionate, and more than I could ever have expected. Both men love me unconditionally, and I love them.
“He’s not okay,” Jarred whispers in my ear, and we both turn to look at Finn. The fear in his eyes dances like a flame in the breeze. We can’t say anything that would make it better. There are no magic cures for heartbreak, but we’ll be here for him, if and when, he needs us.
“I think you need to go see him,” I tell Finn. His father refused to stay in the hospital, so instead, they’ve brought his care to the manor. The Cancer has hit him hard, fast. He hid it from his sons because he knew about the diagnosis months ago. With it being stage four, there’s nothing more they can do.
Marcia has been rushing around, making sure everyone knows what to do, and even though she’s very much a trophy wife, she’s stood up for her husband. She hasn’t left his side, and that is something I truly admire.
“I don’t know if I can,” Finn admits as he pulls away from us. I watch him unbutton his shirt, then shrug off his jacket before he turns to the bed. The clothes he discards land in a heap. “Facing him like that is not something I can handle, not right now.” He doesn’t look at us as he speaks, but the pain in his voice is apparent.
I cast a glance at Jarred, then back to Finn. I know that the pain will only worsen before it eases. From my own experience, I found being alone helped me, but that was because I grew up with nobody to comfort me when I was hurt. My father did his best, but I still felt as if I were a stranger in a place that I called home.
“I know it hurts,” I tell him. Leaving Jarred at the window, I make my way to Finn. I gently place my hand on his shoulder; the tension in his muscles tightens then releases when I trail my fingers to his hand. With his warmth bathing me, and my affection calming him, I know he’ll get through this. “You can be alone,” I whisper. “But we’ll still be close.” It’s a promise I make and intend to keep.
For a long, silent moment, we stand at our positions in the bedroom. And I wonder if Finn will allow me to burrow into his heart once more.
“Tell me about your father,” I urge slowly. I found talking about happy times helped the pain. It brought tears, but it also allowed me to remind myself not everything was bad. “What is the one memory you have where you laughed, where you were so happy, so content, that you didn’t think anyone could change it.”
Finn’s smile tilts his lips, which lights up his face in such a way, he looks so much younger than his twenty-eight years. The way his dark eyes flicker has my heart filling up with the need to put that look on his face every day.
“I was thirteen, a bit of a dick,” he says with a chuckle.
“Nothing’s changed then,” Jarred joins us and the guys glare playfully at each other before they settle on the bed. Finn pulls me into his arms, and I fit between his spread thighs. He and Jarred sit beside each other, the heat of them both filling the room.
“He always knew when I was up to no good,” Finn recalls with fondness in his voice. I’ve known this man over a year, and yet, I’ve never seen him like this. The tough exterior that he exudes is no longer there, not right now anyway.
It’s refreshing.
“I was coming home from school when I got this great idea to play a prank on my brothers. Damien was excited for his new car, and I wanted to change the batteries in his key fob so that it couldn’t open the doors.”
“And your father found you?”
Finn smiles. “Of course he did. It was almost as if he had a tracking device inserted in my neck, so he could find out when I misbehaved.” I can’t help but smile along with my husband. “Anyway, he walked into the kitchen while I was opening the damn thing and stopped me before I could ruin it. I was grounded for two months.”
“And did you stay indoors for those two months?” Jarred asks, but the laugh we get in return is the only answer we need. There’s no way Finn would follow the rules. He doesn’t do that now. I’m sure when he was younger, it was so much worse.
“You were quite a naughty little shit,” I remark as I settle on his lap. His arm wraps around my waist, holding me close, while the fingers of his other hand tangle with Jarred’s.
Finn nods. “I was. And it got worse when we made friends with the Havens.”
“You still have to tell me all about your misadventures with them,” I say.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea or not,” Jarred answers quickly. I’ve heard some of the rumors about the Haven boys. They’re all adopted, so they’re new to Thorne Haven in the sense that their lineage doesn’t start in this particular town. But they’ve grown accustomed to their lives here.
“Well, Creed is the only one still around,” Finn says. “I think Brody and Keirin have both moved. But they do come home every year.” There are so many events that the founding families have, the annual Halloween and Christmas galas being two of the most talked about events. Then, there is the New Year’s celebration, which I’m looking forward to.
“I suppose I should go see my dad,” Finn finally admits. It’s not easy, but at least he’s getting to talk to his dad. I never got the chance to say goodbye. I never even got the chance to understand why he wanted to leave. There are so many ideas in my mind as to why he ended his life, but we will never know the truth. He took that with him to the grave.
“I think that’s a good idea,” I tell Finn, before pressing my lips to his. “If you need me, I’ll be here.” He nods slowly and sets me on the bed before he flicks Jarred’s hair. And then he’s gone.
“Do you think his dad will pull through?” I whisper, but I can’t look at Jarred. Even though I’m married to Finn, I’m married to Jarred as well. It may not be official in the eyes of the church or the law, but he is part of our relationship, just as much as Finn and me are.
“I don’t know,” he answers. There is no need to say the words because I know the truth. As much as I want to pray for Bradford, I’m convinced, along with everyone else, that the illness will take him.
“We’ll have to be there for him.” My words are filled with pain. My throat thick with heartache for the man I love. Jarred takes my hand and holds it tight.
“We will. And you should know that we’re here for you, too. This can’t be easy to go through when you lost your father as well.” His words are a salve to my rather fragile heart. The memories of what I went through have come crashing back in since I made the call to Finn.
We found Bradford passed out in his office. I nearly broke down the same way I did with my own dad. But I forced myself to be strong. I needed to be for Finn.
“You’re only human,” Jarred says as if he can read my mind. He has a way of doing that at times. It can be rather disconcerting, but I’ve gotten used to it. “You’re allowed to feel.”
“I know,” I murmur with a nod. “I just didn’t think that something like this would happen so soon after our wedding. I thought he would have more time, perhaps to see grandchildren.” As I say it, the lump in my throat thickens, and the burn in my eyes blurs my vision.