He nods as Viking and Odin stand. I offer a grateful smile to them both while silently chanting for them to hurry up. I suppose I’m a little bit impatient. I mean, who wouldn’t be? I feel like I’m about to have my world rocked, and it has me anxious. I don’t want the guy to break my heart—I’ve come to care too much for him.
“We were headed to the garage anyhow. Just say the word, brother, and we’ve got your back,” Odin claims. They all bump fists and saunter off.
Chaos adjusts, then pats the spot next to him. With an appreciative glance my way, he says, “Come here, sweetheart. What’s on your mind?” He must know it’s serious because I’m not one to go looking for him and interrupt his chats with his club brothers.
Why do I want to puke all of a sudden? Shit.
Chapter 15
Chaos
“You okay?” I ask as she takes a seat across from me rather than at my side. We’ve gotten closer since she’s been here, and I thought we were past the weird tension I feel coming off her right now. We should be celebrating at the moment, especially after I got her to agree to live with me and work here. Instead, I feel like she’s about to give me the classic it’s-not-you-it’s-me speech. Red flags are waving all around me, and I don’t want to be here for it, but I have no choice. I need to man up and put my pride aside for whatever she’s about to lay down on me.
She releases a choppy breath, meeting my stare. “No, not really. I could be better.”
“Anything I can help with?”
“Did you lie to me? Earlier, about the house, you said you have a small home. Was that the full truth?”
Shit. I mean, I wasn’t lying about having a house, I just failed to mention the property isn’t here. I already spoke to my realtor, and he’s busily searching for the perfect house as we speak. I’ve dug myself a hole, and now I have to figure my way out of it without losing Hollywood in the process. “Technically, it wasn’t a lie.” I want to groan and pop myself on the forehead when I hear the ridiculous smooth-talking words leave my mouth. I don’t normally stretch the truth.
She scowls. It’d be my reaction if I were in her shoes too, so I get it.
“Just let me explain.”
“Famous last words,” she mutters, and I cringe.
“It’s nothing bad, that much I can promise you.”
She eventually nods, waving me on. “Okay, then please bring me up to speed.”
“Let’s begin with the facts.”
“Oh boy.” She breathes hard and rubs her temples.
I flash a grin, hoping to ease the situation. I’ve always hidden what I used to do and who I am to others, at least until I get a sense of the type of person they are. “Firstly, I do want you and Trixie to stay with me. I can’t think of anything right now that would make me a happier man.” Another slight fib, having her naked, riding me would take that statement to another level entirely. Trying not to stick myself further in the doghouse, I keep that last thought to myself.
She visibly relaxes, and it spurs me on to continue, “I also own houses, so that was true.”
“Okay...” She tilts her head, taking me in with a speculative gaze. “Why do I still feel like I’m missing something important? Don’t hold back, Cowboy.” That’s the kicker for me. This woman is strong and smart, and the combination does something for me.
“Because the houses I own aren’t here,” I quickly throw in. “But I promise you I’m rectifying that situation right now. I’ll have a decent, safe home for us by the time we leave the clubhouse. My realtor works fast, and he’ll have us in place tomorrow if I ask him to.”
“Wait. You own houses as in more than one? Do you rent them out or something?”
“Not quite. So, the best way to explain this is to just come out and say it.” I inhale a deep breath before admitting, “I used to play football. I have some properties from my playing days.”
She shrugs. “Okay, so what’s the big deal about it?”
I pull my phone out and google my legal name, then hand her the phone. I watch as she reads the first paragraph of one of the best articles written about me. She continues until eventually her mouth drops open, and she gapes at me.
“Holy. Shit.” She holds up her hand to keep me quiet as she continues to read another article. “I wouldn’t believe this if anyone else told me, but seeing your images all over these makes it hard to believe anything else. You kept this from me. You have a beard and long hair now,” she also points out.
I nod, biting my cheek. What are you supposed to really say when you tell someone you were famous? Not just a bottom-of-the-barrel bench rider, but the real deal. I hold a few records, and I was begged not to retire. I was plastered everywhere when I was playing ball, and it’s a small miracle she didn’t already recognize me. Granted, I’m not the clean-cut athlete I was back in the day. It’s probably our age difference. I don’t ever think about it as it’s not something that matters where we’re concerned, but perhaps it’s the true reason why she didn’t know who I am once we were all over each other.
“I don’t know what to say,” she eventually admits.
“Say you don’t care about any of it, and you’ll still move in with me.”
“That was another thing I wanted to speak with you about. Will I be paying rent while you live here at the club, or how would it all work? I won’t make much money bartending for bikers.”
“Fuck, no. You don’t pay rent,” I grumble, not liking the notion at all. “I want to help take care of you, only if you’ll allow it, of course. I wouldn’t take your money, it’s for you and Trixie. I have everything I need. I’d live at the house with you. I’m not asking you to stay there as a favor, I want you there because you’re my woman.”
“Your woman?” she repeats, testing the words. I’m gearing up in case she hands me a dose of sass. I can take it, it’s part of what drew me to her in the first place. She’s a woman who can hold her own, and I admire the fact.
“Yeah, sweetheart. I want you in my life. I don’t know how else to say it so you get the magnitude of my feelings.”
“You were a professional football player. You were famous.”
I nod, remaining quiet. None of that matters, it’s not who I am anymore. I’m just Chaos, forever searching for my inner peace and people I can trust.
“You dated models. Even your ex-wife is gorgeous. You were married and didn’t bring it up. Why do you want someone like me? I’m a mess, Cowboy. I work in a bar when I have a job. I have trouble with my ex, and I’m a single mom with a shitty set of parents. What on earth can I offer you?”
I reach across the table, covering her hands with mine. “Well, so far, you’ve offered me a sense of peace. You’ve shown me happiness and hope, and not only that, but you’ve shown me that I can have a family. I have my daughter, but she’s grown now with her own family. You and Trixie give me back everything I’ve been missing and more. You offer all the things in life I’ve been searching for.”
“You care enough about us to think of us as yours? You’d want a regular life?”