I don’t even try to pretend anymore. I know it bothers the family, but that can’t be helped. It was bound to happen anyway, this distance between us, because they can’t be a part of what I’m about to do no more than she could.
GIANNA
“Okay, okay, we’re almost there. I knew we should’ve headed into town days ago.” I squeezed the hand of the middle-aged woman who sat in the backseat with me while her husband drove us the long miles into town. She’d said the same thing about three times now.
“I know; I thought I had more time.” More like I was afraid the closer I got to my due date. Somehow in my pregnancy brain, I thought that if I put it off, I wouldn’t have to face it. Silly, I know, but I guess it’s the mind’s way of protecting itself.
The last eight months or so have been like a rollercoaster ride. In the beginning, I vacillated daily between joy and fear. Joy that I had a part of Gabriel the jerk as much as I told myself I hated him, with me forever. And fear because I have no idea what I’m doing.
I spent hours, days, weeks, and months on the Internet doing research. One of the first things I did was get my permit and learn to drive before getting my license because the fear of going into labor alone all the way out here away from civilization scared me more than anything else. Not sure how I thought I could drive the hour or more into town while in labor, but again, pregnancy brain.
That’s how I met Connie and Ron; there was a sign on the turnoff to the little dirt road that leads back to my cabin with a truck for sale. Now I could easily have walked into any showroom and paid cash for a top-of-the-line luxury vehicle, but I felt nervous making such a big purchase; in fact, I was almost sick to my stomach.
I guess the month and a half of living the good life with the Russos were no match for years of going without, so I easily fell back into past habits. As it turns out, the truck was only a few years old and had only about fifty-thousand miles on it, but they needed to sell because Connie had some medical issues, and they needed the money.
They’d moved out here from a big city in the Pacific Northwest to get away from the hustle and bustle of life where they’d both worked corporate jobs before Connie fell ill. At sixty and fifty-eight, they’d never had kids after thirty-five years of marriage and had no real ties keeping them in their former lives, so they moved off the grid to live out the rest of their days.
From that first meeting, when I went to look at the truck, it’s like they took me under their wing. They never asked any questions beyond the obvious and accepted my explanation that I was escaping a bad breakup. They complained about me going into town on the bicycle I’d bought, especially when they found out about the baby, and short of exclaiming that I didn’t know the first thing about taking care of myself, decided to be my new family.
Their place is still a good ways away from mine, about a fifteen-minute drive, so they’d taken to parking their camper on my property, far enough away to give me privacy but close enough to hear me if I needed them. They can have no idea how much I appreciated them, especially when my tummy got too big for me to tie my own shoes.
It all worked out so well in the ensuing months that I felt the fear and uncertainty that had dogged my steps fade away with time, and the three of us kind of settled into a routine. Ron, for all that he was a big-time executive at one time in his life, is very outdoorsy and can fix just about anything he puts his mind to, while Connie was the grandmotherly type who fussed and fawned over me every chance she got.
I didn’t want to take advantage, especially when she started cooking my meals, but they both shooed away my concerns. If I’d doubted their sincerity or had any idea that they were out to use or harm me, those were dashed when they refused my offer to move into the cabin when it got bitterly cold out here.
Instead, they helped me turn the extra bedroom into a nursery. Now, I wonder what I would’ve done without them. I still think about Gabriel at least ten times a day, it still hurts that he’d discarded me, but somehow, I can’t stop loving him the way I do. I won’t ever talk to him again, that’s for sure, but I would be lying if I denied wishing he was here with me.
I’d contacted grandma, letting her know that I was okay and that I’d come to see her at some point in the future, but that wouldn’t be for a while. I had enough sense to call her from a payphone miles away in another state so that nothing could be traced back to me. I wouldn’t put it past Gabriel to have some kind of tracking device on her phone.
She wasn’t too happy but accepted my decision, and I still have no idea why I protected Gabriel when she asked why I’d run away the way I did. I couldn’t exactly blame him, though, because he never told me to make the drastic moves I did, but his actions did facilitate the move. I sometimes even imagine going back or even contacting him about the baby, but I always get cold feet.
He never gave me any explanation for the choice he’d made to send me away other than his cryptic ‘there are things I have to do,’ so what part would me and the child have in his life? Nothing would change, would it? And how insulting would it be if he changed his mind now that I was carrying his child?
The longer I put off getting in touch, the harder it was to do it in the end, so here I am. Scared out of my mind and filled with anticipation and angst.
GABRIEL
I stepped off the plane in Palermo and into the car that was waiting there for me. I’d planned ahead because even though I’d never been there before, I knew where I was going and that I needed to be there at a specific time. It had taken weeks of research to pin down the specifics once I came up with a plan.
I couldn’t act right away; I had to be sure before making my move. Now that the routine was set, I was almost certain, barring natural disaster, that my prey would be there when I showed up. I’d given myself a few days here just in case things didn’t happen the first day because I know Pop won’t let me out of his sight no time soon again, so there was no room for failure.
No one back home knew where I was, but I’d brought the ninja turtles with me just to keep Pop off my scent for as long as I could. I could hear the four of them mumbling once we got off the plane, the words ‘not again’ were said plenty, but I ignored them, only talking to them long enough to send them ahead to the hotel where I’d made reservations.
They’d put up a fuss about not staying with me, but I reminded them of who’s the boss, and that put an end to that. It’s their choice whether or not they call Pop and snitch, but I wasn’t about to make it hard on them. He’d skin them alive if they didn’t contact him, and since I was already here, there wasn’t much he could do, so I wasn’t too worried about his reaction. I’ll deal with that when I get back.
The Dempsey situation had worked in my favor after all since Pop was too preoccupied with that mess to stick his nose in my business, and so I’ve been able to fly under the radar for months now. I leaned my head back against the seat, having no interest in the passing scenery. I wasn’t here for anything other than to set in motion a sequence of events that was sure to get my foot in the door. From there, I’ll do what needs to be done.