“Bastardo.”
“You would know I wasn’t there, Pop. Ma, did you hear what your husband just said about you?”
“No, Angel, I’m sorry, the boy made me do it.” Barf!
‘Draco, go home to your family and stop making trouble. You and your brother give me agita.”
I was already halfway out of the room, so she didn’t need to kick me out.
I was on the phone with my cousin Guy in Sicily before my ass hit the seat in the back of the car. That old lady probably told them not to tell me anything, but I won’t know until I try.
JIMMY
“Dad, Dad, look, I made another one.” Victoria came into the kitchen where I was making dinner with another one of her drawings that looked like a five-year-old did it. I made the right noises and pretended an interest even though I was at my wit’s end. I’m not sure what happened to her in that place she’d been taken off to, but she came back like one of those Stepford wives.
She’d been gone so long I almost didn’t expect to ever see her again. So much had happened in the last while that I’m in a constant state of agitation. Rebecca had gone and got herself killed. Can’t say I blame that Fontane guy once everything came out, which was way worse than I’d ever imagined. Then one day, I came home from my job at the garage to find some stranger sitting in my living room with this new creature.
I don’t understand it. She still looks the same, but the rude teenager I’d met only a few months ago seemed to have been replaced by something or someone else. She could wash herself and take care of her personal needs, but that’s about it.
She had to be watched, it seems like all day, every day, so I had to pay someone to come to the apartment to take care of that until I found a place that would take her. It’s like her cheese fell off her cracker or something in that place, and I don’t have the first clue what to do. Nobody gave me any instructions or anything, just dropped her in my lap, and now I’m stuck.
“Come and eat, Victoria. Put that away now.” She pouted but didn’t argue. I looked at her and shook my head as she took her seat at the table. The girl I’d met when I got out was a well-put-together teenager like all the rest, not a hair out of place. Now, she sat there with stains on her shirt, and her hair hadn’t been brushed in days.
I’d learned not to ask the Russo boy any questions about what had happened to her in that place, and there was no point in asking her because each time I did, she just stared off into space. I couldn’t even run away and leave her because the boy had threatened me. Now I’m stuck. I wish those cops had never found me that night she was stranded in that precinct.
GABRIEL
“Pop, I’m back.”
“Gabe, are you okay?” He looked me up and down as he came around from behind his desk, where he’d been sitting gazing off into space. His hug was meant more for someone coming back from war than a son who’d only been gone for a few days, less than a week, in fact.
He pulled back and clasped my shoulders while looking into my eyes. “I’m sorry…
“No, you’re back, you’re okay, that’s all that matters. Are you going to tell me what you did over there?”
“Not yet!” I could tell he had a hard time accepting that answer, but, in the end, he let it go.
I already knew he’d gone to see nana; she’s been keeping me up to date on his activities. “You needn’t have worried Uncle Guy had someone on me the whole time I was there. I was never in any real danger.”
“You knew you were being followed?”
“Of course!”
“Ah, stupid question, sorry. So, you should go see your mother. She’s been worried about you. And call Lancelot before he drives both his dad and I nuts.”
I can imagine how he’s been acting up since I didn’t tell him where I was going or that I was going anywhere, for that matter. His lips have been looser here of late, ever since…. ever since ‘she’ left. I think he’s been slowly fitting the pieces of the puzzle together and suspects that I’m up to something dangerous. Since I won’t lie to him, it’s best to avoid him as much as possible some days.
“I will. How was everything here at home?”
“Everything’s fine, but as I said, your mother’s been worried. I had to tell her where you were, which led to other things coming to light. I guess you heard it all, the whole truth, from the nun.” The hint of pain that crossed his face told me all I needed to know about how much Ma had shared. “Yes!”
“Dammit, I was hoping I was wrong. Okay, so you did what you went to do? You’re done there?” I know him well enough to read him to easily read between the lines for the words he couldn’t bring himself to ask.
“I didn’t see him if that’s what you’re asking. And I’m guessing Uncle Guy didn’t tell you anything about what I was doing there.”
“Your grandmother warned them off, all of them the whole family. No one would tell me shit. Damn Italians, hardheaded as fuck.” I didn’t dare smile at his little rant or remind him that he was no different. “I guess I’ll go see Ma then, let her know I’m back.”
“And call your Uncle Garrett.”
“You told him?”
“There was a thing.” He looked guilty as hell, so I thought it best to leave that alone.
I found Ma in her room looking at old pictures. She heard me come in and turned with a look of relief on her face when she realized it was me. “Gabe, thank goodness, why did you leave like that? How could you make your father and I worry?” I just looked at her in silence for a hot minute before stepping further into the room.
“Sorry, Ma, I didn’t mean to make you worry.” I returned the hug, but even I knew it was different. She pulled back and looked up at me questioningly. I’m not sure what or when it happened, but somewhere over the ocean on my way back here, I felt this surge of anger. It’s selfish and something I never let myself think about, but being on the plane with no way to escape the confinement, my mind was brutal in its one-sidedness.
I couldn’t get Gianna off my mind. It’s been happening more and more of late, but I find myself blaming everyone for me losing her, though deep down, I know it was my own doing and mine alone. I’m not sure what happened, but I’d missed a step somewhere along the way. Too late, I’ve come to realize that walking away from the best part of your heart isn’t exactly sustainable.
I know I had to let her go because it hadn't taken me long to recognize the threat she posed, that she was the one thing that may have taken me off course, but I couldn’t do it because of Ma, because I owed it to Ma to right the wrong done to her and repay her for all that she’d done to bring me into the world and give me a life better than most.
But at that moment, alone with my thoughts and missing Gianna like a piece of my soul, I allowed myself to be selfish for just a little while. “Gabriel, what’s wrong? You look…”
“Gabe, and it’s nothing.” I can’t stand to hear anyone else call me by that name, not even the woman who’d given it to me. Only Gianna! Damn!