He frowned. “You know?”
“Of course I know! You’re way too much of a thinker for your own good. You overthink everything., and you need to give your brain a rest occasionally. You’re scared of commitment, and you were hit in the face with one. You turned it into a convoluted mental drama, but it’s not that complicated.”
His frowned deepened. “I don’t think that’s all it was.”
“Isn’t it?”
His mind was buzzing again, and after a minute he started to chuckle hoarsely. “I’m not really that much of a cliché, am I?”
She reached both arms around his neck and pressed herself against him in a warm hug. It filled his heart, settled his anxiety, and answered the deepest need at his core. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back.
“You’re not a cliché at all,” she finally said, pulling back only far enough to look up at his face. “You’re you, and that’s who I want.”
He leaned down to kiss her. Soft and earnest and just a little clumsy. It didn’t matter. It was perfect.
When he broke the kiss, she added, “But I thought guys in their twenties were hard to deal with. I had no idea how complicated men your age could be.” She was trying not to laugh as she spoke, but not succeeding completely.
“Are you kidding? We’ve had a lot longer to develop our issues and problems than younger guys. But the thing with me is that the main obstacle is the first step. Once I’m in, I’m in all the way.”
The words seem to surprise her. Her eyes widened. Her lips parted. “You’re in all the way?”
“Yes. All the way. I love you, Vivian,” he murmured, not even afraid now to say the words. “Maybe it’s too soon to say it, but it’s true.”
She threw herself into his arms again. “I love you too.”
AN HOUR AND A HALF later, Vivan was walking into Coble Coffee, holding Rick’s hand.
She would have thought he might be embarrassed about such an earnest, sentimental gesture. She might have wondered if he’d think it made him feel too vulnerable. But he was the one who had reached for her hand as they were walking down the sidewalk, and he didn’t appear inclined to let it go.
When she imagined a moment like this—when all her romantic dreams were finally coming to fruition—she’d assumed her joy would be pure, undiluted by other emotions.
Instead she was feeling everything right now. All at the same time. Joy and excitement and anticipation of what was coming and a wave of tender affection unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.
But also exhaustion. And the emotional aftermath of all her tears over the weekend. And something resembling ironic amusement that things had turned out the way they had.
They’d spent the past ninety minutes talking and kissing and having some quick, sappy sex. They weren’t in fit state for a lot of dedicated foreplay or creative positioning, and it didn’t really matter.
It felt real. And so good. And so full of feeling.
It wasn’t what she’d imagined, but it was everything she could have wanted.
Megan and Britt were in line to order. Britt squealed with excitement when she saw them together, and Megan laughed dryly, but with no less affection.
They got coffee and muffins and sat at the big table. Tyler came in a little while later and joined them. He was visibly surprised when he saw Rick’s arm around her, but then he gave her a shrug and a lopsided smile. “So this was what your wild old-man plan was about all along?”
“Older man,” Vivian corrected. “And it was actually aimed at accomplishing the opposite, but it definitely worked out better than I expected.”
From there, they talked about everything. And nothing. But it was warm and comfortable and safe and satisfying.
As Vivian looked around her, she understood it as friendship. Family. Love. Community.
It felt like life. Real life.
Yes, it was messy—and would never be anything else—but that just meant it was real.
Epilogue
SEVERAL MONTHS LATER, Vivian was walking back into Coble Coffee, holding Rick’s hand.
Megan, Britt, and Tyler were already hanging out at the big table, so after they got their drinks, she and Rick went to join the others.
The main topic of discussion this evening was Vivian’s job search. She was getting to the end of her dissertation, and she’d be graduating with her PhD in the spring. That meant, she needed to find a job.
Academic jobs were usually national searches, so Vivian had applied to colleges and universities all over, her only limitation being staying east of the Mississippi River. Appalachian Studies wasn’t exactly a marketable degree, but she’d had more interest than she’d expected and had been asked to do eleven preliminary interviews, most of them at the big winter international conference coming up in another month.
She was excited. This was the career she’d been working toward for years, and it was finally coming to fruition.
But she was also vaguely anxious about what it would mean for her relationship with Rick.
Things were going well. Amazing. Better than she could have ever dreamed of. She couldn’t remember being happier than she’d been this year as Rick’s girlfriend. He’d told her the truth that night in March. Taking the first step was the biggest obstacle for him, and he’d been completely committed to their relationship ever since.
But still...
She was very likely going to have to move after she graduated and got a job. And she could hardly assume Rick would just come with her.
He hadn’t said anything about next steps, and she didn’t want to push him if he wasn’t ready.
Unfortunately, her career path would be pushing them into it eventually.
There was still time, she kept telling herself, as the others asked her about the colleges that were interested in her. Rick didn’t say much. She didn’t think he was upset, but he felt just a little tense. His arm was casually draped around her shoulders, so she didn’t think she was making it up.
Despite her slight distraction, they had a good time with their friends, and then she and Rick walked back to her apartment.
He was quiet, but that wasn’t all that unusual. He’d always be a thinker, and he still spent a lot of time in his own head.
“Is everything all right?” she asked gently as they approached her front door.
“Yeah.” He turned to face her directly. His eyes were deep and dark and soft. “Everything’s fine.”
“It feels like maybe it isn’t.” She reached up to cup his face. “If something is on your mind, then please tell me.”
He nodded. Opened his mouth and closed it again. “I’m not sure if this is the right time or not.”
“It doesn’t matter. Just tell me what it is. Then if we need to wait to deal with it, we will.” Her heart had sped up now. She had no idea what he was going to say, but it seemed serious and so it made her nervous.
“I wanted to...” He cleared his throat and gave her a wry half-smile. “Okay, I can do this. The thing is, I’ve been getting kind of anxious about your job search. About what it means for us.”
She almost groaned out her relief. “Oh thank God. Me too. But I didn’t want to push or anything. I’m really happy with the way things are now.”