Nate caught my eye in the rearview mirror and arched his brow. “You good back there, Maguire?”
I nodded, moving my gaze to the window. But not before I caught his smirk. I didn’t know Nate’s story, didn’t want to know it, but Celeste was right, when he’d overheard us talking about ditching the pep rally, he’d asked to tag along. Had even gone so far as to offer to drive us somewhere we could hang out and have fun. Whatever that meant.
And I hadn’t had it in me to tell him no.
“The reservoir?” Miles said and I bolted upright.
“No. Absolutely not.”
It was one thing to come out here on an afternoon when no one was around. But it was the weekend.
“Relax, Maguire. We’re not going across to their territory. It’s a big place, we’ll be good.”
So why did it feel like tempting fate? It was Friday night. When I’d lived in The Row, every Friday was a party down at the res. Every weekend without fail.
I hadn’t come down here much. The noise and crowd. All the alcohol and drugs. I didn’t like it.
Celeste touched my arm, and asked, “Hey, you okay? We don’t have to—”
“It’s fine.”
Fine.
The staple word of my vocabulary.
“Come on, you guys. I promised you a night of anti-pep rally fun. It’d be nice if you gave me a chance to deliver.”
“What’s in it for you, Miller?” Celeste drawled.
“Beats hanging out with Denby and his bunch of douchebag friends, or my brother and Max.” He feigned a shudder.
“You’re trying to tell me you and Marc aren’t—”
“We’re cousins.”
“No shit,” Miles said.
“It’s not something either of us likes to advertise.”
“Can’t say I blame you there.”
“But family politics can make things… difficult. Sometimes it’s easier to keep the peace than rock the boat.”
Nate pulled off the main road and followed a dirt road down toward the reservoir. It was a natural lake that had been siphoned off from the Hudson River. I had never seen it from this perspective though.
“Okay, so this is cool.” Sarcasm dripped from Miles’s words as he frowned.
“Look up.” Nate leaned forward and pointed skyward.
“The water tank… no way.”
“The view is pretty incredible.”
“Is it safe?” Celeste asked.
Nate twisted around and shrugged. “Scared, Rowe?”
“I’m in,” she said with mild confidence.
“Mulligan?”
“Hell yeah. Lead the way.”
“Seriously?” I gawked at Celeste. “What happened to ‘tell me why he’s here again?’”
“We might as well check it out. It does look kind of cool.”
With a shake of my head, I got out of the car. Right as Nate climbed out of the driver’s seat. “I brought some treats.” He winked.
“That was one time.”
“If you say so.” With a dismissive smirk he headed for Miles and Celeste who looked giddy about our strange adventure with the bad boy of DA.
I trudged after them; following them up the creaking, rusty stairs leading to the platform surrounding the tank. It was high, really high, the air thinning a little.
“Holy crap, the view is…” Celeste grinned, grabbing the handrail and taking in the sight.
“It’s something,” Nate said, lighting up a blunt. “You guys want in?” he asked Celeste and Miles.
“Nah, I’m good with beer.”
“Me too,” Celeste added, moving closer to Miles. He casually slung his arm over her shoulder, and I lifted a brow, noting the slight stain to her cheeks.
“Maguire, you in?”
I felt the heavy stares of my friends, their judgment brushing up against me. But I also knew how good it would feel.
Crap.
This was a bad idea.
“Does it react with your meds?” Celeste asked, a hint of concern in her voice.
“It… uh, didn’t the other day,” I admitted. “Not like the alcohol.”
“I knew it. I knew you two had gotten high together.”
“Listen, Celeste, I—”
“It’s cool, I get.” No judgment lingered in her expression, only sympathy. “At least, I’m trying to. If it takes the edge off and it’s safe, then don’t let me stop you.”
Nate inhaled a deep hit and blew a wisp of smoke right at me. “What do you say, Maguire? Want to get high with me?”
I nodded. My body singing for the reprieve I knew he could offer me.
“Atta girl.” He passed me the blunt. I glanced at Miles and Celeste, and they moved down the platform, sitting down to let their legs dangle over the edge. Nate did the same, patting the space next to him.
I dropped down, inhaling deeply on the blunt, letting the acrid smoke fill my lungs. It rolled through me, like a soft brush of a hand down my spine. Soothing. Comforting. Reassuring.
“Okay, okay, Maguire. Hand it back. We have all night.”
Our eyes collided and something passed between us. It wasn’t attraction or even friendship, but it was something. As if he knew what I needed because he needed it too.
My brows furrowed and I looked away, letting my gaze fall on the reservoir. At the vast stretch of water and the field and trees beyond it.
“Looks like your friends are partying,” Nate said quietly.
Sure enough, there was a bonfire on the other side of the lake, faceless people moving around, their shadows dancing around like demons in the night.
“They’re not my friends,” I whispered.
They never were.
Only Nix and the guys, and I guess Kye’s sister Chloe. But we were less friends and more two girls stuck in a world that we didn’t belong in.
For a second, I wondered if she was down there, partying with them. Getting drunk and making mistakes and being a normal seventeen-year-old. Nix wasn’t the only one who had abandoned me last year—they all had.
My chest constricted but Nate said, “You know, sometimes, I think I was born on the wrong side of town.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Sure, from up here it looked like a good time. It looked like a group of kids kicking back and enjoying their Friday night. But Nate didn’t know what it was like for them. The shit they were dealing with day in, day out. The pain and trauma and burdens they carried.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “That was a dickish thing to say.”
“It’s okay.” I glanced up at him. “Everyone has their own stuff going on, Nate, and I know that money doesn’t solve everything. It doesn’t make people happy. But life in Old Darling Hill is worlds apart from life in The Row.”
“This life carries its own burdens, Maguire.” A shadow passed over his expression, and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask what he meant. But Celeste’s laughter filled the air.
We both looked around at her and Miles sharing their own private joke.
“Something you want to share with the rest of us, Rowe?” Nate asked.
“No, no. We were just talking.” She hiccoughed. “Although this beer feels like it’s going straight to my head. Did anyone bring any snacks?”