“What does that mean?”
“I love Raven like a sister. Riley… she’s here.” I tap my chest with my fist. “Love doesn’t seem strong enough.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, Raven will just have to learn to deal.”
“And if she can’t?”
“It’s not going to stop me from showing and trying to prove to Riley that she’s it for me.”
“That’s a pretty big declaration, Fleming,” he says, his voice hard.
“Yeah, it is,” I agree. I’ve had hours and hours of lying awake to think about this, and I love Raven, I do. She’s a sister to me. Riley, on the other hand, owns me. I can’t imagine a day moving forward when we’re not together. Raven is her sister, and I’ll still see her, and I hope that if she’s not on board with the idea, she will be eventually.
“You’re just going to drop Raven?” he asks. There’s an edge of anger in his voice.
“No. She’s her sister. I’ll still see her once she realizes that this is real. Once she sees that I love her sister more than anyone else ever could, she’ll come around.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Then I guess I’ll be at odds with my sister-in-law.”
“Sister-in-law?” He whistles.
“I’m all in.”
He’s quiet for a few minutes. “I hope it works out for you.”
“It will,” I say with more confidence than I feel. I have nine months to devise a plan. So far, all I’ve been able to come up with is declaring my love for her and continuing to show up. All I can do is be me. The me who’s loved her from afar for far too long. I need to show her what it’s like to love her up close. I need to show her what it’s like to be the center of my world.
CHAPTER 13
Riley
Twenty weeks. Today, I’m officially halfway through this pregnancy. The app I downloaded tells me that peanut is the size of a bell pepper. I’m way past covering the fact that I’m expecting. Shortly after my third month, I woke up one day, and there was my baby belly. It was tough telling my friends, and when they asked about the father, I just told them he wasn’t in the picture, and I was doing this on my own.
I didn’t want to lie to them, but by that point, I had sent Hudson a letter with no reply. I know that mail can take forever, but it had been weeks. After I took a positive pregnancy test at home, I made an appointment, and they got me in that week. Two days later, I wrote him a letter. I apologized for my actions, for running out on him, and for telling him via a letter, but I thought he deserved to know. I told him that I didn’t need anything from him and that I could do this on my own. I told him that I was prepared to do this on my own, but again, he was the father, and it was his right to know he was going to be a daddy in a few months.
That was fourteen weeks ago, and still nothing. No reply whatsoever from Hudson. I know that Raven has received letters from him, and so have some of the others. I know his mom has as well. She was in the salon yesterday talking about how she misses him, but the way he talks about the work he’s doing makes her proud. Janice and Rick Fleming are the kind of parents who are proud of you for closing the front door when you enter the house. They love their son unconditionally, and I vow to love my son or daughter the same way. Even if this baby’s father doesn’t. My chest physically hurts at the mere thought of Hudson rejecting this baby. Me, I get it. But his flesh and blood?
“You all set?” Raven asks.
My hands move to rest on my small bump all on their own. “Yes.” I’m barely able to contain my smile, even with the thought of Hudson and him rejecting our baby. Today is the day I find out the sex of the baby. Nothing can bring me down.
“I’m driving,” she says, holding up her keys.
“You know, pregnant women are allowed to drive,” I say sarcastically.
“I know, but you’re going to be jazzed and probably emotional after the appointment, so I’m driving. Besides, I’m buying my niece or nephew their first outfit, so we have to stop after your appointment.” She grins.
How can I argue with that? “Fair enough,” I concede. Grabbing my purse, we make our way out to her car.
“Where’s your coat?” she asks once I’m in the passenger seat with my seat belt secured.
“It’s in the house. You know I’ve been running hot these days.” I rub my belly.
“It’s November.”
“Okay.”
“In Kentucky.”
“And?”
“Riles,” she groans. “What if we have car trouble?”
“Where is your coat?” I fire back at her.
“I have on this sweater.”
“And I have on a sweater as well.”
“Yeah, but you’re pregnant.”
“Again, pregnant doesn’t mean car trouble or that I’m going to freeze to death if the temperature drops.”
“Where is it?” she asks, reaching for her door handle.
I place my hand on her arm to stop her. “Raven, I’m fine. I promise.”
“I You and this baby are my family.” She reaches over and places her hand on my small bump. “This baby is our family. We’re in short supply of that these days, and I just don’t want anything to happen to either of you.”
My shoulders deflate, and the fight leaves me. “I’m sorry. You have taken such great care of us. You’re going to be the best aunt,” I assure her. “My coat is in the hall closet,” I say, handing her the keys to my house. “Grab one for you while you’re in there,” I tell her, and she smiles.
“I’ll be right back.”
I watch as she jogs up the front porch and unlocks the door disappearing inside. “You’re so loved, little one,” I tell my baby. Tears prick my eyes, but I swallow them back. I need to get myself in order before my overprotective twin sister comes back. Opening up the glove box, I look for tissues or a napkin or something, and an envelope falls out. I’d recognize the handwriting anywhere.
Hudson.
With shaking hands, I look at the postmark from just four short weeks ago. Not even worrying about violating their privacy, I pull out the single sheet of paper and begin to read.
Raven,
It’s beautiful here. You would love it. We’re all definitely going to need to come back one day. Maybe we can get the group together and come and visit Clay. He misses you, you know. Of course, you know. This is Clayton we’re talking about.
I’m glad the salon has been busy. You and Riley have built a great business. You should both be proud. I’m proud as hell of both of you. You’ve had so much loss in your lives, but you never let it stop you from living each day. Nothing can stop the Burke sisters.
We’re still working long hours and crashing each night. It’s been nice to get away, but I’m missing home more than I can explain. In fact, I’m barely keeping my eyes open as I write this, so I need to go. I’ll write more later. Thank you for the care package. Even though it’s not here yet, I’m sure it’s going to be filled with all the goodness of home.