“Finally. He’s been up since four and started crying around seven, and I couldn’t get him to stop. I tried feeding him. I changed his diaper and nothing. He just seemed to cry harder.”
“Maybe after you eat, you can grab a nap too.”
“You don’t have to be here, Hudson. I appreciate the breakfast and getting him to sleep, but you don’t have to stay.”
“Today is my day.”
She blows out a heavy breath. “Are we really going to pretend nothing happened?” she asks.
“No. I don’t want to pretend nothing happened. I don’t want to pretend for another day that you don’t own every fucking piece of me. I love you, Riley, and I don’t care who knows it. Hell, I want everyone to know it.”
“W-What?” she asks, her mouth hanging open.
“I know what you’re going to say.” I forge ahead while I have her full attention. “I know that the two of you are a package deal, and I’m good with that. I’ll be a good dad, Riles. I can’t fail with you by my side.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” she hisses. “Now you want to be a father? Now? What is it, Hudson, because you’re home? Because you’re afraid of what people will say when they find out?”
“I couldn’t give a fuck what people say. This isn’t some rash decision. Not a minute went by while I was away that I didn’t think about you. I want a future with you, Riley. With both of you.”
“Why now, Hudson? You ignored both of my attempts to tell you that you were going to be a father, and now that you’re home, you’re ready? You let me go my entire pregnancy thinking you didn’t want us, and now you want to ride in on your white horse and save us? I don’t fucking think so. Get out.”
Holy shit.
My heart is racing so hard I fear I might break a rib. My mouth hangs open. I know I need to say something, but I can’t seem to form words. A little puff of breath brushes across my neck, and my attention is drawn to the baby boy in my arms.
My son.
He’s my son.
“Riles.” My voice cracks.
“Don’t Riles me, Hudson Fleming. Give me my son.” She’s now standing right in front of me with her arms held out.
“I-I didn’t know. I swear to you, Riley. I didn’t know.”
“I sent you two letters, Hudson. Do you really expect me to believe that you didn’t get either one of them?” There’s suspicion in her voice, but something else lingers there too. Hope.
“I’m telling you I didn’t get them. Riley, I love you. I’ve loved you for so long. That night” I swallow hard. “I was going to stay, Riley. I was going to call Clay that morning and tell him I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave you when I had finally made you mine. When I woke up, you were gone. I went to your place, I called you multiple times, but you ghosted me. I thought that meant you regretted it. I didn’t know what else to do, so I left.”
“What?” she asks. Her face is now pale, and I know she believes me.
“Sit down, baby,” I say gently. She nods numbly and moves back to the couch, grabbing the pillow and holding it tight against her chest. “Riley, I swear to you, I didn’t get a single letter from you. If I had known he was mine, I would have been here. Hell, I was already coming home early.”
“What?” It seems to be the only word she can manage. Emotion clouds her face, and her breath hitches.
“I put in to come home early. My flight was scheduled for today, actually. When we got word that my dad had a heart attack, I rushed into town and booked the first flight.”
“How did you find out? I mean, about your dad? I thought there was no service, or internet or anything.”
“There was at a town a few hours away. The company had a headquarters there. Mom got ahold of them and then sent word to me.”
“Oh,” she says numbly.
I look down at my son, who is sleeping soundly in my arms, and kiss the top of his head. My heart is no longer beating like a drum in my chest, but it’s so fucking full, I feel as though it could explode. “Riley,” I whisper. Lifting my eyes, I see that I have her full attention. “Marry me.”
“What?” Her mouth drops open in shock.
“Marry me. I was already prepared to be his dad. I wanted to be his dad, but now I know that I am… I loved him before that because he was a part of you, but now, fuck, Riles, he’s my son. We have a son. We made this little miracle, and” I swallow hard. “Marry me.”
She shakes her head. “You can’t just walk in here and demand that I marry you. We’re not a family, Hudson.” Her voice cracks, and I know that’s the hurt that she thought I caused talking.
“We are a family. Even if it weren’t my blood running through his veins, we would be a family. I love you, Riley Burke.”
“His name is Hayes David Burke. He’s my son.”
“He’s our son, and we’ll be changing his last name and yours.” Her eyes soften, and I keep going. “I love you. I want this with you. I want the three of us to do this.”
“No one knows,” she says softly. “I didn’t tell them.”
“I know.”
“I’ve made a mess of this.”
“This isn’t all on you. And mistakes happen. We’re going to fix it. I’m going to tell our friends and family he’s mine.” I pause, waiting for her to look at me. “I’m going to tell them that you’re mine too.”
“This is too much. I-I can’t even process this right now. I’m exhausted.”
“Hayes, tell Mommy that you want to hang out with Daddy for a while.” Is it possible for your heart to smile? It sure feels as though mine is. I take a minute to gather my composure.
I’m a daddy.
“I’ve got him, Riley. Go rest.”
“He’s going to be hungry…,” she tries.
“Then I’ll make him a bottle. I’ve been reading articles online. I wanted him before I knew he was mine, Riles. Now that I know he is… Fuck, baby. I can’t tell you” I shake my head. “I never thought I could ever love anyone the way that I love you. I knew that I would love him because he was a part of you, but fuck, Riles, he’s a part of me too. That’s something I never imagined, and my heart feels bigger than my body.”
A tear slides over her cheek. “I don’t know what to think. I just… I need some time.”
“I’ll give you some time. But, Riley, I won’t stop fighting for my family. You and Hayes are my family.”
She stands from her spot on the couch and tosses the pillow to the side. “Wake me if you need me?”
“I promise.”
She walks to where I’m sitting and bends to kiss our son on the head. “Mommy loves you,” she whispers.
I gently grab her wrist before she can move away. “I love you both. So much.” She closes her eyes, and I let her go. I know I’m piling all of this on her, and I knew it was going to be a fight. A fight I refuse to lose.
CHAPTER 21
Riley