“I was crushed. No, crushed isn’t the right word. Devastated the day I found out you were pregnant. I thought the day I heard you were seeing someone was hard, but that day, it gutted me. It took me a few days, but I finally realized that he wasn’t in your life, but I could be. I knew that I could love this little guy as my own. It never even dawned on me that he could be mine. I got the information that you were with someone else, and the idea stuck. Did we use protection that night?”
“We did. If you count me being on the pill.”
“He’s our miracle baby.” He pulls the bottle from Hayes’s mouth, and he whimpers but stays quiet as Hudson carefully moves him to his shoulder. “Am I doing this right?”
“You’re doing perfect,” I assure him.
“I meant what I said, Riley. I loved him before I knew he was mine, and now… now, I feel like my chest could explode.” He kisses our son on the forehead and then gives me his full attention. “I want us to be a family.”
“I won’t keep you from him. I understand there was some kind of mix-up. I believe you.”
“Marry me.”
I shake my head. “You don’t have to keep saying that. You’re his daddy, Hudson. No one can take that title from you. That’s not what I was trying to do. I truly thought that you didn’t want him. Or me,” I add.
“I’m not worried that you’ll take him from me. I know that as his father, I have rights.” He must see the panicked look on my face. “I know we could figure it out and that we can both love him, but, Riles, that’s not enough for me. I need to love you too. My heart won’t have it any other way.”
“You wouldn’t be asking me to marry you if you weren’t holding our son.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Hudson, be realistic.”
“I am. I’ve had so much time to think and process this. I told you I was coming home to you. I knew you were getting close to delivering from Raven’s letters, and I wanted to be by your side.” He glances down at Hayes. “I wanted to see this little guy come into the world.” This time when he looks at me, I see what looks like determination in his eyes. “I’ll show you, Riles. I’ll prove to you that I want you both. Not because you’re the mother of my son, but because of the woman you are, and I want you to be the mother of all my sons and my daughters,” he adds with a chuckle. “Can we have a houseful? I don’t think I’ll ever get over this feeling of holding our child in my arms.”
“Can you let me get through telling everyone I love that I lied about our son’s father before you start adding more babies to the mix?” His words make me feel all warm and gooey inside, but I have to keep my wits about me. I can’t give in to this just because we have a child together.
“That’s not a no.” He grins. I can’t help but return his grin. His enthusiasm warms my soul. “And we’re doing that together. You are not the only one at fault here. Sure, I didn’t get the letters, but I should have told you that night what you meant to me. I should have made sure that you knew you were not just some fling or a hookup. That’s on me.”
“I didn’t say anything either.”
“And then I didn’t get your letters.”
“I feel the worst about lying to Raven and your mom. Hudson, your mom gave me one of your baby blankets, and I lost it. I ran out of my shower crying like the fool that I am. I was able to blame it on hormones, but I lied to her.” Panic starts to build. “How is she ever going to forgive me?”
“She loves you.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is. We were in an impossible situation. You reached out to me but thought I didn’t want anything to do with you or the baby. You did what you had to do.”
“How are you so calm about all of this? I lied to them, Hudson. They’re not going to be so forgiving.”
“You did what you felt you needed to do. You didn’t do it to hurt them. And I’m calm because I love you. I love our son, and I know that everything will work out.”
“What about Raven?”
“What about her?”
“She’s your best friend, and you have a baby with her sister.”
“You and Hayes will always come first. I think Raven will understand, and once the dust settles, she’ll forget all about it.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“My wife and child come first. That’s just how it is.”
“I’m not your wife,” I remind him. What I don’t say is that I’ve pictured that exact scenario many times over the years. More so since our night together. And after I found out I was pregnant. I told myself once I didn’t hear from him that it was a fantasy that would never come to fruition.
“Not yet, but you will be.”
“Hudson,” I groan.
“Let’s call them. Call our friends and get them over here. Tonight. We do this together. Then if you’re feeling up to it, we can take a little ride to see Grandma and Grandpa.”
“Oh, God.” My hand covers my mouth. “I almost denied him his only living grandparents. I’m a horrible mother,” I say, my voice cracking.
“You are not a horrible mother. Come here.” He motions for me to come to him.
“You’re busy.”
“Riley, come sit with us. I can feed him and hold you at the same time.”
“You only have two hands the last time I checked.”
“I’ll hold our boy. You sit on my lap, and I’ll hold you. You can hold the bottle.”
“He’s almost done,” I counter. My heart is doing somersaults in my chest.
“Riley, baby, please come here.”
I can’t deny him, not when I’ve longed for him to look at me and talk to me just like he is now for so many years. I never thought it would actually happen. Slowly, I make my way to where he sits in the recliner. He shifts and makes room for me, and I take a seat on his lap. I take the bottle he’s holding, and he wraps his arm around my waist.
“My whole world,” he whispers. I feel his lips press to my temple, and I lean into him.
“I dreamed about this,” I confess.
“Me too.”
“Come on now. You don’t have to keep waxing poetic. You’ve got me where you want me.”
“No, that would be in a church, or city council, or somewhere in front of someone who has the authority to name us husband and wife.”
I ignore that comment outward, but inside, my heart is fluttering. “Will you really tell them with me?”
“Baby, there is nowhere else I’d rather be. In fact, I’m staying here with you tonight and the rest of the week. We can tell them we don’t need them unless they want to drop off food.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to be with my family. I wasn’t expecting to be back this soon anyway. Mom and Dad have me covered, and when they find out he’s mine, they’ll insist I take some time to be with you and Hayes.”
“Okay,” I concede because I don’t have the energy to fight with him, and if I’m being honest, I want him here with us.