“Shhh.” She glanced toward the closed door, and something in her eyes warned me she didn’t want anyone to know she was in my room.
This had to do with Mikaela. Whenever Nanna sought me out this way, it always had to do with Mikaela. Usually Nanna warning me to stay away.
“I vow it. I haven’t seen her all day,” I whispered even though no one else was in my chamber. A servant had already come and gone. The garments I’d left beside my bed were picked up, the rushes fresh, and the chamber pot clean. A freshly-laundered set of clothing awaited me on the chest at the end of the bed.
“You need to make her see reason. Please.” Nanna’s voice wobbled with a desperation I didn’t understand but that needled me, nonetheless.
“You asked me not to seek her out again.”
“But you’re the only one who can stop her.”
“Stop her from what?”
Nanna peered around the room again. She’d always been extra cautious about Mikaela. But now that I was older—and wiser—I could appreciate how much Nanna had done to care for and shield her granddaughter over the years.
I reached for Nanna’s hand only to find that she was trembling. Another needle pricked me. Something was amiss.
“What’s happened, Nanna?”
Her fingers grasped mine tightly. “Frans accepted the earl’s challenge to kill the jotunn. He went into the forest this morn.”
I shook my head. What was Frans thinking? He was no match for the jotunn. He’d end up dead just like everyone else who’d gone in. “What a fool. Why would he do such a thing?”
“Frans saw you and Mikaela together yesterday, and Mikaela thinks he lost the will to live. She blames herself.”
A fist seemed to slam into my chest, knocking the air from my lungs. If anyone was to blame for yesterday’s moment of passion in the shed, I was. I’d sought Mikaela out. I’d initiated the kiss. I’d lost self-control. Not her.
Either way, Frans shouldn’t have offered himself up. He had to know he’d cause Mikaela heartache.
I released Nanna’s hand and tossed aside my covers. I didn’t care that I was indecent in my breeches. I needed to make this situation right. I grabbed my tunic from the top of the stack of garments on the chest and jerked it over my head.
“I believe she intends to go into the forest and call him back.”
“Only over my dead body.” I grabbed my leggings and stockings. There was no way in heaven or earth I’d allow Mikaela to rush off into Hardanger Forest after Frans. I’d tie her up and lock her away before she had the chance.
Nanna nodded but couldn’t hide the tears that filled her eyes. “You know how stubborn she is.”
“And you know I’m more stubborn.”
“That’s why I came. I need you to convince her not to go.”
And so the conversation had come full circle. I was the only one who had the power to stop her. Even then, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to. But I had to try.
“I’ll be taking the girls to visit their mother.” Nanna wiped at the wetness on her cheeks. “While I’m away, you must go to her.”
“I will.” I had to get to her soon. She might even be sneaking off to leave while Nanna was with me. I shoved my foot into my stocking.
“Do whatever you have to, Gunnar-boy. Kiss her again if you must.”
Tugging up a stocking and hopping on one leg, I paused.
Nanna nodded as though to confirm her permission. She was truly desperate if she was advocating my kissing Mikaela. Even so, I couldn’t pursue such intimacy again. I wouldn’t lead Mikaela on, not even for this.
“I can’t—”
“I’m told she drew the earl’s attention at the forest’s edge. And now that he’s aware of her, he’ll single her out.”
My blood ran cold. I couldn’t let that happen.
“She’s too beautiful and full of life,” Nanna continued, “and he won’t be able to resist.”
“You’re right.” I was surprised Mikaela had gone this long without Bernhard’s notice.
My thoughts jumbled in a frantic race to find a solution for keeping Mikaela from falling into Bernhard’s clutches.
As I finished with my stockings, Nanna handed me my doublet. “She won’t be safe here in Romsdal anymore. Not after this.”
I slipped into the doublet. “I’ll think of something.” But what?
“The best thing for you to do is buy her freedom from Bernhard, take her away, and marry her.”
Marry her? I stumbled over myself and grabbed on to the edge of the bed to stay upright.
“Take her with you to Vordinberg and implore the king to grant her sanctuary.”
Could I really do such a thing? For several pattering heartbeats, excitement charged through me at the prospect. I hadn’t wanted to consider marriage previously. But with Mikaela? If I could have her as my wife, I’d wed her at this very moment.
My blood pulsed with a sharp and bold need. I wanted Mikaela. I always had. Dare I consider Nanna’s proposition?
Nanna reached for both of my hands, her eyes turning tender. “I tried to keep you away from her for her safety.”
“I understand—”
“You love her, Gunnar-boy. You always have.”
I wanted to deny her. But how could I when the truth of her words resonated deep within me?
“I thought if she married Frans that she’d settle down and be protected. But after today, she’ll never be safe here again.” Nanna’s voice grew low and urgent. “Now you’re the only person who can protect her.”
But at what cost? Bernhard wouldn’t easily relinquish any of his bondservants, especially not after setting his intentions upon one as beautiful as Mikaela. If I offered him everything I had for her, he’d hold onto her just to spite me. And even if I secretly stole her away, Bernhard would eventually learn of my connection to her.
Once word of my deception reached him, he’d seek vengeance, and most likely he’d bring difficulties to her kin, starting with Nanna and then hurting her father and mother and siblings. He’d punish them all.
“Don’t worry about me.” Nanna pressed a hand to my cheek, likely seeing the anxiety warring in my eyes. “I can take care of myself.”
“I can’t risk bringing harm to you or your family,” I whispered. “And I know Mikaela will never want to risk it either.”
Nanna let her hand fall away, and her shoulders slumped. She knew as well as I did that the battle with Bernhard would be far too dangerous for everyone. But the fact was, we could no longer sit back and do nothing.
“I vow that I’ll find a way to protect Mikaela.” I buttoned my doublet, not caring if I was getting each one looped.
“I trust you, Gunnar-boy. You’ll figure it out.”
If only there was a way to be with Mikaela without destroying all the people we loved.
“And you’ll keep her from going after Frans?”
“Yes, I shall go in her stead.” Since I’d already planned to set forth into the forest, I would simply do so a day earlier.
After Nanna left as quietly as she’d arrived, I hastened through the remainder of my grooming. Then I made my way to the part of the castle with the nursery. As I slipped silently inside the bedchamber, I found Mikaela doing exactly what I’d expected. She was kneeling beside her trunk and hastily packing her bag now that Nanna had left with the girls.