“Any. Thank you.” She pivoted her gaze to Mya. “Give me a minute, and then we can talk?” She knew Mya was anxious to have the official, Are you okay? conversation after Seth’s call.
“Okay.” Mya retreated to her bungalow, and Oliver did the same, leaving Sydney out there alone and so deeply mired in her thoughts that she slammed into a wall of muscle as she entered the doorway of her bungalow.
“Shit, sorry.” Beckett grabbed her arm like she might lose her balance.
“No problem. Thanks for dropping off my bag.” Sydney managed a small smile that apparently did nothing to convince Beckett she was fine because he kept hold of her arm and tilted his head, studying her once again. She tensed when he took a small step closer, lifted his other hand, and skated the pad of his thumb across her cheek, wiping away a tear she hadn’t known was there.
“The wind,” she sputtered. “It must have made my eyes water.” I don’t cry. Not over Seth. Hell no.
Beckett’s brown eyes narrowed as he replied, “Of course,” before backing up to allow her inside the room.
She quickly wiped her fingers across her cheeks before turning to find him still standing in the doorway.
“My son didn’t take the divorce well.” The words fell from her lips before she could catch them. And now she’d have to add more to that sudden drop of information. “I’m worried how he’ll feel about his father remarrying. Seth’s not his biological father, but he raised him and so . . .” Why am I telling you this?
Beckett took one step forward.
Just the one.
But it was enough to send her back two.
“I guess I just gave you the bullet point version of my life. Minus a few major, um, bullets.” She gently set a hand across her throat, willing herself to shut up. Mya was right earlier when they were on the beach. It wasn’t like Sydney to ramble. Babble. Blabber. Whatever.
“Bullet points,” he said in almost a whisper as if those words meant something to him. He drew a hand across his mouth before gently stroking his jaw. “I’ll take any bullets you want to send my way.”
“Literally?” She arched a brow to break whatever spell she’d seemingly fallen under. Was the jungle enchanted? Because right now, an intimacy stretched between them that went beyond the physical. “Or just figuratively?”
“I would have taken a bullet for you in that jungle if need be, yes. Without hesitation.”
She was the one taking a step closer to him this time. “I wouldn’t have let you.” She erased the last bit of space between them, tempted to set a hand to his heart. To try and ease the burdens he was carrying because she knew how heavy hers were, and she could see the suffering burning in his eyes.
Well, something was burning there. Maybe it wasn’t just mental anguish?
She gathered in a small breath when his hands framed her body. “I’m going to hug you right now. Just giving you a heads-up so you don’t—”
“Hurt you?” She sent him a nervous smile, and he nodded. “And if I’m not the hugging type?” For a guy whose sister referred to him as Mr. Grump, he was throwing her off yet again.
“Then permission to hurt me when I go in, but I’m gonna do it anyway.” His resolute tone was surprisingly comforting.
“I guess a hug is better than a bullet,” she whispered, a bit unsure, but she let him do it anyway.
He gently pinned his chest to her body, and his hands traveled around to her back. “Thanks for not—”
“Kneeing you in the groin,” she cut him off again, unable to stop her mouth from running away like always in these situations. Because she really didn’t know how to do this. But she was trying. For whatever reason, she found herself wanting to try.
“Precisely.”
She took her cue from the tone of his voice and willed her body to relax, to let the stiffness melt away. It’d been so long since she’d allowed anyone to comfort her that she felt out of practice.
Had she ever let Seth just hold her like this?
She released the thought, not wanting to think about him right now.
So, she turned her cheek and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of Beckett’s strong, steady heartbeat.
He quietly held her there like that, one hand softly stroking up and down her back. Caressing and calming her for a few minutes.
“I clearly don’t do this,” she admitted without pulling away.
“Do what exactly? Hug?”
“Show weakness.” Her confession had him easing back, and he freed his arms from her body but then tipped her chin with a fist, guiding her eyes to meet his.
“I’d hardly call this weakness. But it’s not something I’m so great at doing myself, if I’m being honest.”
“Hugging or?” she whispered as he opened his fist and slid his palm along her cheek.
“Opening up.” He tilted his head, eyes focused on her mouth as if he wanted to kiss her.
And she doubted she’d resist. The pull between them was strong.
She didn’t have to decide whether to stop him or encourage him because Gray’s name suddenly popped up on her watch at the same time her phone began ringing, causing them both to freeze.
Did Gray have news?
She had no idea how she’d found herself caught up in this man’s arms, with her heart on her sleeve. That was way more Mya’s thing. It was for the best that Gray interrupted.
Beckett roped a hand around the back of his neck, his eyes still trained on her watch, and then she remembered that he’d answered Gray’s call on her cell earlier while she’d been in the shower. Ah, she hadn’t filled Beckett in on those particular bullet points from her life at West Point with Gray. And while there was nothing between them now, he was still protective, so no telling what Gray had said to Beckett.
She supposed it didn’t matter. There couldn’t be any more almost-moments between her and Beckett. For too many reasons to list.
“I should, um, take that,” she said before answering the call over her Apple watch.
“Hey, you at your new place?” Gray asked when the call connected.
“Yeah, we’re here.” She stole a quick look at Beckett, his jaw clenched as if he were struggling with the same thoughts she’d just had. The what did I almost do? kind.
“Are you alone right now?” The thinly veiled hint of reproach in Gray’s voice said it all.
“You hear from Jesse?” she deflected, hoping for a subject change for all their sakes.
The line was quiet for a moment before Gray shared, “Jesse made contact via our protocols. I won’t get into the details, but he’s safe.”
“Next steps?” she asked, checking Beckett’s reaction to the news and finding the obvious signs of relief in every square inch of his body.
“He said to hang tight. Working on a plan,” Gray responded. “But in the meantime, we’re running a few leads as to how Cora may possibly have a connection to this club Capone. Or why her sister was there in the first place.” At the mention of Cora, Beckett looked toward the door as though he might bolt. “But what I’d like to know is what in God’s name happened today?”
Sydney quickly explained the details involving Mya and her inside man at the cartel, and Gray quietly listened.