“She knows she can’t go rogue like that if she joins our team, right?” Of course, that’d be by-the-book Gray’s reaction.
“Obviously.”
“Okay, well, I’m glad you’re all safe. Good thing Oliver happened to be there to have your six,” Gray continued. “And Carter’s friend, Martín, too.” He paused for a moment, and Sydney didn’t fail to notice he’d purposely left out Beckett’s name. “Well, call me if anything changes.”
“Did you tell Ella?” Beckett asked, taking her by surprise, announcing his presence and that she was not alone.
Silence hung in the air for a moment before Gray said, “She was the first call we made. Your sister insisted on that during our last talk.” A pause before, “I, uh, have to go. Talk soon.” And then the call ended.
She didn’t need this attitude from her teammate. Please tell me you don’t still have feelings for me, Gray. Her focus landed on the only piece of furniture in the room, the bed with a simple black comforter on top. Most likely, the rooms were normally used for the guys on Martín’s team.
“I told you we didn’t need to worry about Jesse. He’ll be fine,” she finally managed while turning to face Beckett.
He nodded. “I’m sorry about Gray. I hope I haven’t caused any problems for you two by being here now, or well, the whole shower thing earlier.”
“There’s nothing between us,” she quickly explained.
That didn’t mean there could be anything between her and Beckett, but the man didn’t need extra guilt on his shoulders, thinking he’d almost kissed a taken woman. And they had almost kissed. She didn’t think she’d imagined that moment, even if she was hungry and a little dehydrated.
Beckett dragged his gaze to her face, but why in the hell did he not seem convinced by her answer? Ah, Cora. He had trust issues. And sadly, she could relate. “I’m going to take another shower,” she decided to let him know for whatever ridiculous reason. Like there isn’t enough tension with us? Sure, go ahead and tell him you’re getting naked again. Perfect.
But she really did need to get her head back on straight, and usually, a cold shower helped shock her system.
She had no clue if it’d be enough to help her forget the Seth and Alice news. Or the possibility that Gray may still have feelings for her.
But she most definitely had to stop whatever was going on with Beckett.
Her walls needed to go back up. She had to go back to defense mode.
Because she knew without a doubt that she’d never survive another broken heart, even if her asshole ex didn’t think she actually had one to begin with.
She did.
The problem right now . . . it sure as hell felt like it was beating for a stranger.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Mom, I asked him to wait until you were back to tell you.” Levi’s voice was brittle. Broken. And Sydney could kill Seth for doing this to him again.
She set her back to the wall alongside the bed, needing support while she summoned the right words. The last thing she wanted to do was lie to Levi, but she didn’t want him worrying about her. “How are you?” she asked instead. “You were at Grady’s when we talked this morning. What happened?”
Levi was quiet for a moment before murmuring, “I came home earlier than Dad expected.”
Oh, for the love of God, Seth. Did he catch you again? Her fingers curled into her palm at her side, and she took a slow, deep breath, fighting the desire to catch a plane and punch the man. “And that’s when they told you they’re getting married?”
More silence before a soft, “Yes. She had a ring on, and I noticed it.”
I don’t know what to say.
“I don’t want to live with them. She was . . . she was always Aunt Alice, and then she hurt you so bad, and I . . .”
“Levi,” she cried, tears gathering in her eyes, her voice breaking this time. “I wish I could fix this. You know I would if I could.”
“You can’t fix everything, Mom. I know you try, but some things just, well, they suck.” She heard him swear under his breath, and she had no intention of calling him on it. “This just sucks.” His voice nearly broke at that, and she knew he was fighting like hell to keep the tears at bay, to not show weakness.
Like me. “Hey,” she said while wiping at her cheek with her free hand, “we’re going to get through this. We’re Archers, right? We’re badasses.”
She heard the half-laugh through the phone. “You think I’m a badass too?”
“Hell yes.” She pushed away from the wall. “Stronger than me. So much stronger.” Her lip quivered as she resisted allowing more tears to flow. “We’ll get through this, okay? You and me. We’ve got this. It may feel like it’s us against the world sometimes, but I’d rather you in my corner than anyone else on the planet.” And shit, she was crying again, so she pulled the phone away from her face a bit to try and catch her breath.
Once she blinked away the rest of the tears, she brought the phone back to her ear as he said, “Mom?”
“Yeah, sweetie?” she whispered.
“You’re the only one I’d want in my corner too.” He was quiet before adding, “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you so much,” she cried.
“Promise me you won’t let this interfere with your job. I need you to come home safe.” Levi knew she was officially on work business in Mexico now. She’d promised her son that she’d never lie or sugarcoat things with her new job. When she’d revealed her trip was extended after Beckett and Oliver had first shown up that morning, she’d been honest with him. Well, as honest as she could without revealing too many details. He didn’t need to know about the cartel.
“I’ll promise as long as you promise to call me if you need me. No matter what.”
“Deal,” he answered. They exchanged a few more words before she ended the call as Mya knocked at her door.
Tossing her phone on the bed, she did her best to shake free her emotions before letting Mya in.
“First order of business, are you okay?” Mya cut straight to it. “And second, hot damn, woman, you look stunning.”
Sydney did what she did best—locked her emotions up in a steel cage and tried to change her mood to get through the night.
She swept her hands down her sides, turning this way and that like a showroom model, flaunting the gift that had been delivered to her room twenty minutes ago—a dress with instructions to wear it to dinner. She was exhausted and not in the mood to dress up, but she didn’t want to be rude and decline their host’s generosity.
And even though her mood was still off despite her best efforts to fake it, Sydney lightly laughed and complied when Mya twirled her finger, motioning for Sydney to spin.
The dress wasn’t anything she’d choose for herself, but it was beautiful. The dark blue skirt, decorated with panels of embroidered flowers, was set off by a bright orange sash around her waist, and embroidered flowers adorned the white off-the-shoulder peasant-style blouse. Sydney had let her light blonde hair air dry for a “beachy” look, and it fell in soft waves over her shoulders.