When I come back, he has his hands braced on the kitchen sink.
“What’s wrong?”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Do you ever feel like life is humming along perfectly, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, everything goes to shit?”
“Yeah. I do.” I move next to him at the sink and look out the window. Like when I found Penelope in bed with my father, riding him like her life depended on it. If I could get a shrink to knock me unconscious and replace that memory, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Ben doesn’t need to hear about my rich girl problems. But it sounds like he could use a friend. I could too.
I lean my head on his shoulder. “I was supposed to join Cal at the coast later this week, and now I hate him with the force of a thousand suns, and I cry all the time. I can’t tell if it’s because I have a head injury or if I’m genuinely upset.”
Ben’s arm comes around my shoulder in a quasi-hug. “I’m sorry he’s an asshole. I... I should’ve said something to you about his... nocturnal activities. I regret that I didn’t. I wasn’t completely sure, but still, I could’ve given you a heads-up.”
“You and I barely spoke before last weekend. I don’t blame you for minding your own business. I just hate that I was so blind. The whole damn campus probably knew, but I didn’t see the warning signs, or maybe I didn’t believe them. It reminds me of my mother.”
He shifts, and I can tell he’s looking at me. “Did your dad cheat on your mom?”
“She’s never outright told me anything, but the older I get, the more I start to wonder if he did.” The gossip rags say he did. And maybe I need to give the gossip more credence. “But I used to worship my father. I still do in a lot of ways, only now I know he makes mistakes. Big ones. I used to never want to hear anything negative about my dad, but now that I see I’m capable of being blind to so much stuff, I feel like I need to wake up and smell the coffee.”
Ben squeezes me, and his other arm comes around, and I drop my head to his chest and close my eyes where I sniffle. “I hate being needy,” I admit.
“You’re awesome, Sienna. A ray of fucking sunshine, and I hate seeing you upset. And you’re not needy—you’re human.”
“Thanks.” I tilt my head up and smile at him. He’s so tall, I have to crane my head back. Even from this brief time in his arms I can tell he’s ripped. I mean, I’ve seen him at pool parties looking buff and beautiful, but I don’t want to perv on my friend. I definitely don’t think about his hard pecs or bulging biceps or how mouthwateringly good he smells. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”
He studies my face before his eyes dip down to my mouth. He nods and lets me go.
We’re quiet as we plate the food and set out everything.
“Are you going to tell me what has you so upset today?” I ask as we sit on opposite sides of the couch. “Aside from me not responding to your calls. And I’m sorry about that—I’ve pretty much been sleeping all day. Which is why I look like this.” I wave my hand over myself.
He takes a huge bite of the sandwich and rolls his eyes. “Even with a head injury and two black eyes, you’re still gorgeous, so don’t give me that crap.”
He thinks I’m gorgeous? God, why did I waste my time on Cal?
“Have I told you that you might be my new best friend? I hope you’re ready for this.” I’m about to make a stage-five clinger joke when his next words still me.
“I told my sister I’d look out for you, and I meant it.”
My smile withers away. Is that the only reason Ben checks on me? Because Gabby asked him to?
Suddenly, all of his concern—the way he took me to the airport, how he worried over me at the hospital, how he’s kept an eye on me since then—takes on new meaning.
I’m an idiot. Of course he’s just doing Gabby a favor.
The bite of sandwich in my mouth becomes a lump I can barely swallow. I take a long sip of the sweet tea.
Emptiness wells within me, but I do my best to shrug it off. This is a good reminder. I cannot be interested in Ben anyway. In the long run, he’d probably break my heart. And that’s something not even Cal managed.
Yes, I was infatuated with Cal for a while, and I definitely lusted after him, but obviously our relationship lacked depth. How else could my feelings for him vanish so quickly after I found out he cheated on me?
But then Ben holds up a finger and trots his muscular ass to my kitchen.
And comes back with a cupcake.
And a candle.
“For your birthday. Which I know sucked balls. The guys and I want to invite you to come to the lake with us as a late birthday celebration.”
My mouth drops open. That little cupcake means more to me than all the expensive gifts my dad had his secretary get me over the years.
Ben sits back down on the couch. “You’ve had a lousy few days, and I feel like I owe you for helping Gabby and Rider so much last year. I’m not lying when I say you saved our asses by babysitting Poppy so much.” He clears his throat. “And I know I’ve been a shitty brother to Gabby. Trust me when I say I’m working on it. But it meant a lot to me that she had you to watch her back.”
I blink quickly and smile. “Yes.”
“Yes?”
“I’d love to go to the lake with you guys. As long as I wouldn’t be cramping your style or anything.”
“As long as you don’t mind sharing a cabin with three dudes, two of whom have questionable hygiene habits.”
We chat about the plan—we’ll leave in a week for a four-day stay at a Canyon Lake cabin. The thought of getting away and being able to forget all the horrible crap that’s happened is reason enough to jump at this opportunity. I love outdoorsy stuff, and I definitely haven’t done enough of it since I’ve been in Texas.
“There’s rafting, horseback riding, skiing, hiking, a whole assortment of options for how we can spend our time,” he says around another big bite of his sandwich.
“That sounds awesome, but...”
His brows lift as he waits for me to finish.
“What about your baby? Will your ex watch her all that time?”
He rubs his forehead. “Totally honest here. I haven’t figured out the logistics just yet. But the guys are on board with you going if I have to stay behind. You’re invited regardless of what I have to do.”
Well, that sucks.
Blowing out a big breath, he drops his empty plate on the coffee table. “Actually, can I ask you a huge favor? You can say no. In fact, you probably should. And before I tell you what it is, your answer in no way affects the trip or the invitation.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“Unfortunately, it is. But... I’ve talked myself into a situation.”
“Aren’t you supposed to talk yourself out of situations?”
“If I was a smart man, yes, I would’ve done that.”
I can’t deny that Ben’s self-deprecating humor does something to me. He seems all stalwart and stoic, but he has a vulnerable side I’m guessing not many people see.
Clearing his throat again, he winces. “Feel free to punch me in the face for this, but I might have told Janelle I had a girlfriend.” He gives me a pointed look.