Janelle gave me shit about it, but why the hell can’t a girl wear this? Just because it has a football? It’s not like women don’t appreciate the sport or, hell, can’t play it. I knew a female kicker in high school who put all the boys to shame. I glance at Liliana and wonder if she’ll like the game.
“Did you get a pack ’n’ play?” Sienna asks, glancing at me and then Janelle. “That way you can put the baby down. Your arms are probably getting tired.”
I knew we were forgetting something. “No, we did not get that. Why didn’t we?”
Janelle rolls her eyes. “You got a crib. Isn’t that enough?”
Sienna nibbles on her bottom lip, and for some reason, I know she wants to say more, so I motion to her. “Cruz Control, what are your thoughts?”
Her eyes light up. “Just that you might want to put the baby in a pack ’n’ play if we’re making dinner. It doubles as a play area and portable crib, so it’s easy to move it around the house. If I’m watching her in the studio while I’m doing yoga, I could set her up in there with me.”
I nod. “Makes sense.” Should’ve bought the damn thing. I’ll have to make a new list for shit we forgot.
My ex tilts her head and glares at Sienna. “Why would you be watching my daughter?”
Here we go.
Wanting to mark a clear line in the sand, I drape my arm over Sienna’s shoulders and draw her to me. Damn, she’s a nice fit. “I didn’t think this needed an explanation, but since Sienna is my girlfriend, and since we live together, I don’t think it’s a stretch for her to babysit. Especially since she watched my roommate’s kid last year. She has lots of experience.”
“Fine. I just don’t wanna find out you’re off doing whatever, and Liliana is being dumped off with her all day.”
I see now why people pray for patience because this woman is testing mine. “So you’re telling me you watch Lily twenty-four seven?”
Her jaw tightens. “I have a babysitter sometimes, but that’s different than a girlfriend.”
“Maybe like the boyfriend you tried to pass off as Lily’s father? Did he ever watch our kid?”
“That’s not fair, Ben.”
“No shit, it’s not fair. Nothing about this is fair.” Until this moment, it didn’t hit me. How much of Liliana’s life I’ve missed. But suddenly, it’s important. Like the most important component of my life that I didn’t even know existed. “I’ve been stripped of her first two years of life and the nine months leading up to her birth. All of those ultrasounds. The first time you heard her heartbeat. Her first words. The first time she crawled. Walked. Everything. So don’t fucking tell me it’s not fair.”
Janelle flinches, and Lily starts to cry.
Fuck. This right here is why I try to stay detached.
“Hey.” Sienna rubs my chest. “Take a deep breath, okay? I get what she’s saying.”
I jerk back. “You do?”
“Yeah, it sucked when my dad brought his girlfriends around after he divorced my mom. I understand why she’s sensitive about it.”
Instantly, all the anger in me deflates. When Sienna puts it like that, I feel like an asshole.
“Thank you,” Janelle mumbles.
Sienna squeezes me with the other arm that’s wrapped around my waist as she talks to my ex. “How about we start over? I was about to order dinner. Why don’t you join us, Janelle? That way you can get to know me a little. I realize it’s hard to trust new people around your child, and I want you to feel comfortable with this situation and know I have your daughter’s best interests at heart.”
“I am hungry. You really don’t mind me staying for dinner?” Janelle asks hesitantly.
I don’t want to spend more time with this woman today. I’m about to suggest I pick up some dinner for her on the way back to the motel when my lovely fake girlfriend responds.
“Not at all,” Sienna says sweetly. “You can tell me all of the goofy things Ben did when he was in high school.”
The two of them waltz off to the kitchen, and I’m left scratching my head.
What the hell just happened here?
13
SIENNA
For all of my complaints about my father, I definitely felt like I channeled “a parent” a minute ago with the stuff I told Janelle. And while I meant every word, until last year when I moved in with Gabby, I would’ve described myself more as a wild child rather than a judicious child caregiver. I guess being around kids has changed me.
See, Sienna, you can adult when you really want to.
Janelle and I chat about Liliana’s food preferences and nap times. Gabby always took notes for things like this, so I break out a pad of paper and pen and jot down what Janelle tells me so she can feel confident her daughter will be well cared for.
By the time the food arrives, Janelle seems more relaxed. The longer we talk, the more I think maybe we can be friends.
“So how did you guys meet?” Janelle asks as she nibbles on a slice of pizza.
She and I are sitting on the couch, and Ben is parked in the recliner next to me.
I reach for my drink, shove the straw in my mouth to occupy it, and look to Ben to answer this question. I’m not sure what kind of backstory he wants.
He’s quiet as his dark eyes study me. “I first noticed Sienna when she was hanging out with my sister. They were walking on campus last fall, and Sienna was hauling this huge workout bag. It was bigger than she was.”
I still, realizing he’s sharing something that actually happened.
He never takes his eyes off me as he tells the story. “Her sneaker fell out of her bag, and I retrieved it for her. The smile she gave me...” He holds his hand over his heart. “Swear to God, it was the best smile anyone had ever given me.”
My heart pounds as we stare at each other. “I lost my slipper,” I joke.
His lips tug up. “My very own little Cinderella.”
With an internal shake of my head, I remind myself that this sexual tension with Ben isn’t real. Even though it sure feels genuine.
How long do we have to pretend to date?
Lily tosses a chunk of crust, and it hits me in the side of the head.
Janelle laughs. “Sorry, not sorry.”
Or... maybe we won’t be friends.
I rub the spot and wonder if the baby has a future in sports. She nailed me right on my stitches.
Ben leans close and rubs my head for me, and he pulls me to his chest. “You okay?” he whispers.
I nod against him and try to play off how much that hurt. That whole part of my scalp is still really tender.
“It was just a piece of bread, for God’s sake,” Janelle says. “Ben, remember Mr. Rizzo’s pizza place by my parents’ old house? The one we used to go to all the time in middle school? Now those were some hard breadsticks. Pretty sure you’d need stitches if you got conked by one of those.”
I sit back in my seat and give her a weak smile. “You guys knew each other in middle school?”
“We’ve known each other since second grade,” she says pointedly. “Our whole lives basically. Our parents are best friends too. We grew up together. Saw each other every day. Fell in love. Had a baby.”