When we get there, we’re joined by a few other families. Ben and I take turns overcooking hot dogs and marshmallows, and eventually Lily falls asleep against his chest as we listen to an old guy in overalls play his fiddle.
This feels so domestic. Like Ben and Lily and I are a family. It reminds me of the fun stuff my parents used to do with me and my brothers when we were little. How they’d take us to the beach to fly kites, and we’d end up tired and sunburned and sticky but so happy.
By the time we get home, it’s dark. Before we left to go horseback riding, he texted Janelle to let her know what we were doing, and he left his ringer on all day, but she never responded.
As we walk up to the cabin, Ben threads his fingers through mine. He pulls me to a stop a few feet from the front door. Lily is still clinging to him, half-asleep with her thumb in her mouth.
Keeping his voice lowered, he says, “I’m not sure what we’re walking into, but before the craziness starts again, I just wanted to tell you that I can’t remember the last time I’ve had this much fun. And it’s one hundred percent because of you.” He tugs me to him and kisses me on the forehead.
“Thanks for taking me horseback riding. That was a blast.”
Wrapping an arm around me, he hugs me close. “I hate that it’s our last night.” With another kiss to my temple, he adds, “We should make the most of it.”
It’s hard to wipe the smile off my face, because I definitely want to make the most of tonight, but at the thought of having another confrontation with Janelle, my smile falls. I have no idea how she’s going to react to me and Ben being off all day with Lily, but it’s not as though she attempted to contact us.
Johnny, Olly, Amelia, and some girl I’ve never seen before are camped out in the living room, scarfing down subs.
“Dude.” Johnny raises his hoagie. “I feel the need to apologize to you for inviting your baby monster—I mean, baby mama—on this trip.”
He makes a face and shoves half the sandwich into his mouth. The new girl next to him giggles.
Olly cringes and gets up to talk to us privately in the kitchen.
“What happened today? Where’s Janelle?” Ben asks as he pats Lily on the back.
“We went horseback riding, but when we got back, she took off to ‘meet up with someone.’” He shifts awkwardly. “I assumed that meant a guy.”
Ben’s expression doesn’t change. “That’s none of my business. As long as she’s safe, I don’t care who she... meets up with.” He studies Olly a second. “Before that, though. How were things once you got out of the cabin?”
“Tense.” Olly runs a hand through his hair and lowers his voice so no one in the living room can hear. “I’m not sure how it happened, but she and Amelia have gotten to be close, and Amelia is constantly laying into me about shit.”
Apparently Amelia and Olly have been talking on and off for a while, but this is the first time they’ve spent an extended period of time together.
“Sorry ’bout that, man.” Ben claps him on the shoulder. “I know you like her. Hate that my drama is spilling over.”
Olly grabs a beer. Takes a sip. Shrugs. “I mean, yeah, I like her, but I got your back. Brovaries before ovaries.”
The guys do some fist-bump thing, and I laugh.
“Okay, bros.” I snort and turn to Ben. “Why don’t you give me Lily so I can get her to bed, and you can resume your male bonding ritual here.”
He plants a kiss on me and hands over his sleeping daughter.
“Should I put her down in our room or her mom’s?”
“Janelle’s room, I guess. Since she didn’t want me taking Lily last night. And we’ll use the monitor.”
After tucking Lily into her pack ’n’ play, which we bought for the trip, I rejoin everyone in the living room. I sit next to Ben, and he tugs me closer until I’m nestled under his arm. It’s such a good feeling, being snuggled up to him.
I sigh happily, curl up my legs, and toss my arm across his stomach where I’m in my own little world.
I’m trying to be chill after our talk today about really dating. Part of me wants to cartwheel like a loon across the carpet and the other part thinks prudence should be my priority. Ben didn’t sound super-convinced that we have a chance long-term, but I’m determined to make the most of now and the time we do have. If we break up, we break up. No one can know what the future holds anyway.
Besides, he likes me! Enough to date, which I know is something he probably swore off after Janelle broke his heart.
So yeah, I’m going to make the most of this. Ben makes me feel safe, and I know that despite his player reputation, he’d never do anything to deliberately hurt me.
All of a sudden, Olly brings out a cake with a shitload of candles that he places in front of me.
The cake is decorated with my name and a huge sun with daisies. Everyone sings ‘Happy Birthday,’ and I’m so touched, I could cry.
I wrap my arms around Ben’s neck. “Thank you! How did you know I love daisies?”
“Just took a guess. They look like happy flowers, and you’re always smiling. Reminded me of you.”
“But you already gave me a birthday cupcake.”
He frowns. Kisses me. “That wasn’t my A-game. You deserve better than a lousy cupcake.”
Oh, my God. This guy.
No one has gotten me a cake in years. My mom started getting me cupcakes in high school because it was usually just the two of us, and she didn’t want to gorge on the leftovers. Until this moment, I hadn’t realized I’d missed the hoopla of an actual birthday cake.
We each eat a huge slice, and I tease the guys they’re going to get beer guts if they’re not careful.
“Speak for yourself.” Johnny jumps up and pulls up his t-shirt that says “To-Do List” and has “your mama” crossed out. Proudly displaying his eight-pack, he reaches for another piece of cake. “Don’t mind if I do,” he says.
His date Yvette is looking at him like he’s tastier than the cake he’s shoveling into his mouth.
Since we’re celebrating my birthday, the guys ask what I want to watch on TV. I don’t care, so I let them choose, and like big nerds, they pick old episodes of Silicon Valley. It has a dry sense of humor, but it reminds me of my dad and brothers.
“I don’t understand this show,” Amelia says as she picks at her nails. “I just don’t think it’s funny.”
“I fucking love this show,” Olly mumbles around a mouth full of cake.
Ben’s been chuckling throughout the episode, so he’s obviously into it.
But when Amelia pouts, Olly gives in and changes the channel. She whispers something in his ear, and his cheeks turn red while a huge smile spreads on his face.
He jumps up and pulls her to her feet. “Okay, well, we’re beat. So... see y’all tomorrow.”
Then he drags her to their bedroom and slams the door shut behind him. We all laugh.
“Our boy’s getting laid,” Johnny explains to Yvette.
“Pretty sure she understood the subtext there,” Ben says with a snicker.
I’m so tired, I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, so I tell Ben I’m going to get ready for bed too.