“I am. I’ve been talking to Dare.”
“That’s wonderful,” their mother said. “But I mean someone you can tell things to that you might not want to share with us or Dare. I bet you could talk to Colleen at the ranch, or Wynnie can get you the name of someone in town.”
“I don’t know, Mom.” Talking to Dare was helping, but she wasn’t crazy about the idea of sharing her innermost feelings with anyone else. “I’ll think about it.”
Flo brought their breakfasts, and as her mother and sister began eating, Billie said another silent prayer to keep Dare safe. She speared a piece of her waffle with her fork, but she couldn’t eat.
“Bobbie, honey, Wynnie and the girls want to get together four weeks from tomorrow to go over plans and schedules for Festival on the Green and the kickoff of the Ride Clean campaign. Can you make it?”
While she and Bobbie talked about their plans, Billie’s mind traveled back in time. When they were little, their mother brought them to her planning meetings for Dark Knights events, and Billie had hated it. She’d felt like a caged animal, sitting in a room with her and Dare’s moms and their sisters, while Dare and Eddie were running around outside. But her parents had instilled in her and Bobbie that they were a Dark Knights family, and it was important to do their part. Billie had always enjoyed helping out at the events, but the planning part had never been her thing. She’d gotten out of it as a teenager by being stubborn—at least until she was nineteen, when Bobbie, who had always loved planning anything and everything, had asked her to go. Dare had been away at school, and it had made her feel a little more connected to him to be with his family. She’d enjoyed the time with the girls and had continued to help with the planning each year until Eddie’s accident.
She was starting to realize how much shutting people out of her life had really cost her. She’d not only missed out on time with Dare and worried her family, but she’d missed out on that time with her mother, sister, and Dare’s mother and sisters, too.
“Mom,” she interrupted. “Sorry. I’m just wondering if you think it would be okay if I tagged along to the planning meeting?”
Their mother pressed her lips together, looking as though she might cry. “I think that would be marvelous.”
“You want to go?” Bobbie asked.
“Yeah, I do.”
Bobbie pulled out her phone.
“Who are you texting?” Billie asked.
“Dare, to tell him to keep doing whatever he’s been doing.”
“Gimme that!” Billie tried to grab her phone.
“Okay, okay!” Bobbie laughed, setting it on the table. “I’m glad you’re going. It’s always more fun with you there.”
“Really?” She was surprised, because Bobbie had never called her fun before.
“Yes. You’re fun when you’re not acting like a fire-breathing dragon.” Bobbie bumped her with her shoulder, softening the truth.
“This is going to be so exciting,” their mother said. “Let me tell you what I’m thinking…”
Billie wasn’t so sure about it being exciting, but it would be nice to start crossing the ravine she’d caused between herself and Dare’s family. Her mind tiptoed back to Dare’s dangerous stunt, and as she’d been doing all morning, she silently begged for his safety.
SEVERAL HOURS LATER, Please keep him safe was still playing in her mind like a mantra as she served drinks at the bar. It was a busy afternoon, and she’d been watching the door like a hawk, praying she’d see Dare walk through it. His father and brothers had just arrived, and she took that as a good sign. If something had happened, wouldn’t someone have contacted them?
Doc and Tiny were talking as they headed for a table. Doc pulled out his phone, showing something to his father, his biceps straining against his Redemption Ranch T-shirt, colorful tattoos on full display. Tiny wore his cut, as usual. Billie could count on one hand how many times she’d seen him without it. He was as proud of the Dark Knights as he was of his family and the ranch. Cowboy walked behind them, clothes stretched tight over his bulbous muscles, his cowboy hat firmly planted on his head, and those ever-watchful eyes moving around the bar. He was built like a bodybuilder.
Or a bodyguard, she thought, recalling what he’d done in Eddie’s movie.
Cowboy lifted his chin in her direction, and she whispered Thank you in her head. Doc and Cowboy had always kept tabs on Dare, but Cowboy had been a little harder on him, giving him grief for the crazy shit he’d done and making sure he’d stayed on task to the point of annoyance. She wondered if he’d done it because he’d feared for his brother’s safety or because it was expected of him. Did he feel as much at a loss as Billie did today?
“Where’s your boy toy?” Kellan asked, pulling her from her thoughts.
“Kellan,” she warned. “He’s out riding. Why?”
“Just curious since the guys are here. Aren’t you going to serve your father- and brothers-in-law?”
“Don’t you work for me?” She was just giving them a minute to get settled in.
He flashed a dimple-bearing grin. “Yes, but you don’t want me out on the floor where women can paw at me and slow down my service.”
“You just like having the best seat in the house to scope them out.”
“Well, there is that, but now that you and lover boy are an item, I don’t want to cramp your style.”
She rolled her eyes and went to take the Whiskeys’ orders. They watched her approaching, his father’s face as serious as always. Did he know what Dare was up to today? If so, why wasn’t he there with him?
Doc smiled, giving her a curt nod, another Whiskey greeting she knew well. She thought about what Dare had said about the time he’d given Johnny Petrone a black eye. I’d have done more than that if Doc hadn’t stopped me. She wondered if he’d told Doc why he’d done it.
“How’s it going, sweetheart?” Tiny asked.
“Pretty well, thanks. You?” He’d been kind to her throughout the years, despite how cold she’d been toward Dare, and now that she was trying to be more introspective and not suppressing her feelings, his kindness stirred all sorts of emotions. But she was too high-strung from worrying all day to think about any of that and stuffed it down deep to dissect another time.
“I’ll let you know when I hear from my boy.” Tiny looked at his watch and uttered a curse.
“So you know he’s jumping buses today?”
Tiny nodded.
Cowboy’s jaw clenched.
“We know,” Doc said. “Crazy bastard.”
Something inside her snapped. “Then why aren’t you with him? Something could happen, and you won’t be there.”
Tiny tipped his bearded face up, eyes narrowing. “I reckon it’s the same reason you’re not there.”
“I didn’t know until this morning, and I had plans with my mom,” she said lamely, knowing that even if she hadn’t had plans, she couldn’t have watched him do that dangerous of a stunt.
Tiny nodded. “I hear ya, sweetheart. I love my son, but that doesn’t mean I like everything he does. I can’t stop him from chasing his dreams, but I don’t have to watch him do it.”