I lean in to kiss him hard, tasting myself on his tongue and moaning as I move his hand away and take over jerking him off, reveling at the soft silky hardness in my hand and how damn good it feels.
He cries out in my mouth as I feel his sticky cum hit my chest and pour over my hand. I kiss him through it, slowly stroking him until he removes my hand and leans his forehead against mine.
“Oh yeah. We’re going to keep doing this,” he says with an almost goofy smile.
One I caused.
And that makes me feel way too damn proud.
SIXTEEN
TRAVIS
“So any updates on Ryan?”
I sip my beer quietly, sitting in the chair next to Jameson, my best friend in the world, who I’ve been lying to for a couple of weeks now. Because I haven’t told him about Oakley and me hooking up.
I tell Jameson everything, but it would be weird to talk about this thing with Oakley—whatever it is. He knows him. We’ve all known each other pretty much our whole lives.
And I don’t really know how Oakley identifies—he doesn’t seem to be too worried about it. Still, it’s not my place to out him in any way.
“No.”
Jameson eyes me hard now, and I do my best not to look at him. I focus instead on the fire pit in the middle of his backyard and the people he’s invited over for a Friday-night cookout. Of course, Oakley is having a damn good time with his best friend, who doesn’t seem to be grilling him.
“No? Why not?”
Because I don’t feel good enough for a guy like Ryan. Because I’ve been avoiding talking to him, and I’m not ready to meet him. Because I’ve been fooling around with who I thought was my nemesis but who’s actually started growing on me.
But I can’t say any of that. And don’t.
Instead, I just take another sip of beer and shrug. I don’t want a lecture about how I’m good enough. I don’t want to hear that I don’t have to meet Ryan until I feel like it’s right. And I can’t tell him about Oakley.
So there’s no reason to talk about it, and I just hope the subject changes quickly because not talking to my best friend is not my favorite thing. I want to tell him everything, but I’ve always been one to retreat when things get difficult.
When I didn’t get my scholarship, I avoided Jameson until he hunted me down and made me talk to him. It’s what I do.
I look over at Oakley, who’s stolen Garrison’s guitar and is strumming on it, even though he doesn’t know how to play, and it definitely shows. Garrison takes it back from him, shoving his shoulder and sits down in his chair, his acoustic guitar resting on his thighs as he strums, telling Oakley to let the professional do it.
We all laugh, but Oakley is totally unbothered, as always. Instead, he belts out an old Garth Brooks song at the top of his lungs, unsurprisingly off-pitch, and damn it, I find it endearing instead of annoying.
Because that’s just Oakley. He’s so free in that way. He can be himself whenever he wants. Loud as he wants. And it’s contagious.
I find myself smiling in his direction, and when he catches my eyes, he shoots me a small, but very confident wink I hope Jameson doesn’t notice.
If he does, it must not seem out of the ordinary because Jameson doesn’t say a word. Just moves over to his boyfriend and sits at his side, singing loudly with Oakley and the rest of the partygoers.
When the party begins to wind down, my entire body thrums with excitement as I sneak away with Oakley over to his house. We don’t waste any time getting naked and heading back to his room, clothes flying, and our mouths smashed together with passion and need.
I land on my back on the bed as his big naked body falls on top of me, and we don’t take a breath. We kiss, and our hands roam over each other, already well acquainted. I know he likes it when I suck on his tongue, so I do. He knows I love it when he sucks on my neck, so he does that next.
His mouth moves over my collarbone and down over my nipples, taking time to tease and lick them before moving down the middle of my stomach, circling his tongue over my bellybutton, and then his lips find mine again.
Our hard, leaking cocks drag over each other’s, and we both groan with need. It’s a dance we’ve done many times now, one usually ending with my mouth on him or with a mutual jerking session, but tonight I want more.
I’m not saving myself for anything special, and while Oakley has been incredible, just going for it, I highly doubt he’ll ever let me inside his body. It’s not something I’m even sure I want, but I know if I want to try, it’ll likely be with someone else.
But I also know I want to feel someone inside me. I need to know what it’s like to feel full and have someone move inside me over and over until I cry out with my release. And I want that person to be Oakley.
He’s been patient and moved slowly with me. I know he won’t hurt me. He’s explored with his finger inside me a few times now, and I know his dick is only going to make that experience better.
Of course, a part of me wishes he was a little smaller. I hold his face in my hands and look down at his massive cock, that’s not only long but thick, and know, without a doubt, this is going to be a bit of a challenge.
One I want to take on.
“What are you thinking?” he asks, a nervous smile on his handsome face.
“I’m thinking I want that”—I nod toward his dick and then meet his eyes with mine—“inside me.”
His eyes flash with surprise as he looks down between us and then back up at me. “Are you sure you want that?”
“Do you not?” I quirk an eyebrow in curiosity, but nerves tackle my senses because what if I read this wrong. What if hand jobs and blowjobs are just fine, but this is more than what he wants?
What if he’s telling himself it’s no big deal because we haven’t crossed this line before and I’m a fucking idiot?
Shit. I’m panicking.
“Where did you go just now?” He looks down at me with careful caution.
“If you don’t want to, that’s totally fine. I know it’s a lot.”
He doesn’t move his big body off mine, and I’m starting to feel vulnerable, the need to get him off me and run away beginning to take over. But he doesn’t move. “It is a lot. You haven’t done that before, right?”
He asks it in a way that says he already knows but wants me to confirm it. “No, but it’s not that big of a deal for me.”
He studies me carefully, and I start to fidget beneath him. He really needs to let me up if he’s going to reject me. It’s fine. I’ll be fine but not when I’m pinned underneath him, completely naked.
“It’s a big deal for me.” His weight is braced by both his arms on either side of my body, and I can see the veins in his biceps popping with the strain. “I want this, but I want you to want it too.”
I meet his eyes, confusion swirling in my gut. He wants this. “I wouldn’t have asked for it if I didn’t want it,” I say honestly.
“With me?”
I nod, and then I see the vulnerability in his eyes. Oh. Ohhh. “Yes, with you,” I say and brush a hand over his cheek. “I want this. I just didn’t want to pressure you into it.”