“Pressure me?” he says with a startled laugh that breaks the tension. “I’ve wanted this since the first time we kissed. I just didn’t know if you were saving it for someone special.”
I move my hand down over his throat and then over his thundering heart. The vulnerability is back for both of us, it seems. And I don’t want to think about the weird thoughts swirling around in my brain—screaming at me that I was waiting for someone special, and Oakley is that someone special.
Because I don’t want to confuse myself. We both know what this is. He wants easy—simple. It’s who he is. He doesn’t want complicated, and we started this because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.
Because to him and to me, there was no chance of either of us complicating this. It’s just sex. A new friendship with an old nemesis. At least for my part, but I’m pretty sure Oakley thought we were always friends.
“I have one request then.”
“Okay?” It comes out like a question, my throat dry from the nerves coursing through me.
“You can say no . . .” he starts, and my heart is rapidly beating in my chest, tired of the anticipation.
“What is it, Oakley? What do you want?”
Part of me wonders if he’s going to request that I turn over, away from him, so maybe he can convince himself he’s not with a man. And God help me, I’ll do it. Not because I’m okay with that, but because I’m already planning on doing that. I don’t want to look at him. I don’t want my dumbass brain to get all confused.
“Can we do it without a condom?”
“W-what?” My eyes widen in shock as I gape at him.
He looks almost sheepish now, and it would be adorable if I wasn’t so surprised by his request. “I mean, I have one. We can use one, no problem, but I was just thinking . . .” He sits back on his knees between my spread thighs, his dick only half hard now but still insanely impressive. “I’ve never done it that way. Never wanted to risk it and never been with someone exclusively.”
Is that what we are?
“You’re only with me?”
His eyes darken at the question as they meet mine. “Of course. I thought that’s what this was.”
“It’s a hookup arrangement,” I say because while I didn’t know if he was fooling around with anyone else, I didn’t ask. Because I didn’t think it was my right to.
“An exclusive one though, right?” he asks me, his eyes imploring me to tell him the truth. I know I haven’t been with anyone else. I haven’t even thought about it. But I never thought he was only planning on being with me.
“Is that what you want?”
He nods quickly, easily answering, “Yes. And I’d never put you at risk by messing around with anyone else while we are.”
He’s so damn earnest, it’s refreshing. It seems the rest of the world is busy playing games, but not Oakley. He doesn’t do that. He says what he wants, and he means what he says.
“I don’t want anyone else either.” He grins, and I realize how my words could sound, so I quickly add, “I mean now. I don’t. One is enough. I’m just getting used to the one dick. I don’t need more than that.”
Shut. Up. Travis.
He’s grinning bigger now, sliding his big body back over mine as he kisses me softly. “So if neither of us is fucking anyone else, and we only plan on being with each other, the condom seems stupid.”
I grin, threading my fingers through his soft hair. “Have you been tested?” It’s important to be smart, even though my cock has gone back to full-mast, fully ready to have him in every way I can get him. And I feel his hard shaft dragging over mine, making it hard to think.
“I’m negative. Tested two months ago, and I haven’t been with anyone for . . .” He pauses like he has to think about it. “Fuck. I haven’t been with anyone in six months.”
I know he won’t lie to me. For whatever reason, I trust Oakley because I can feel it. He doesn’t lie. “I’m negative too.”
His plump lips move over mine slowly, taking his time to lull me into a whimpering mess under him. My cock is throbbing and leaking, sliding against his and begging for relief.
“I want this,” I say, and he nods, sitting back again to grab lube from the drawer next to the bed.
“Me too.”
I smile, the breath leaving my body, relieved and ready for this.
I didn’t see this coming at all, but this—with Oakley—in this moment, it’s what I want more than anything else.
SEVENTEEN
OAKLEY
My hands are shaking.
I can’t remember the last time I was this nervous. I don’t get nervous.
I just don’t. Big playoff games? No big deal. State? Nothing. I’m calm, cool, and collected. Ready to play my part.
But this?
Taking his virginity?
Yeah, my nerves are turned way up.
I can’t believe he’s trusting me with this. I never thought he would. I assumed I was just practice for his oh-so-special Ryan—which I probably still am. And I didn’t think he’d give this to me.
And damn it—despite it probably being selfish—I want it.
I want it more than I’ve wanted anything in my life, and I can’t waste time worrying about why that is.
Then when I asked him if we could do it bare, I thought for sure that would be it.
That he’d push me away and tell me to fuck off.
But he didn’t.
He agreed. I still don’t know what possessed me to ask him. I just know—looking down at his beautiful, naked body and feeling him underneath me—I wanted it. Nothing between us.
I wanted this experience with him, knowing full well when he’s finished with me, I’ll probably go back to random hookups where I don’t get this. This intimacy I never craved before.
Before him.
“We don’t have to do this,” he says, eyeing me warily from his position, lying on his back on my bed, his hard dick pointing up between his legs and his abs tightening with each nervous breath.
“I want this,” I say again because God, do I want this. “Just need you to tell me what to do.”
He cocks his head to the side a little, his eyes studying me with wonder and a small twinkle in them. “I can get myself ready, if you want me to.” He starts to lean up, his hand going for the lube, but I pull it away.
“Fuck no. I want it all, Travis. I want to get to know this body, inside and out.” I drag my free hand over his taut abs, reveling in the way they harden and flex at my attention. “Just tell me what to do so I don’t hurt you.”
His gaze moves to my cock that’s so fucking hard, it’s painful, dying to be inside his tight body. He meets my eyes and lifts an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure it’s going to hurt, no matter what.”
I frown, not wanting to hurt him at all, but then he leans up, dragging his hand over my stomach and my hip before he settles back down on the bed before me, spreading his legs and letting me get a good look at his small, pink hole. I nearly pass out from the sight, my cock jerking with need. “I don’t want to hurt you.”