“I’m certain,” Flora giggled.
Bernadette’s cheeks were flaming and she swatted lightly at Flora. Valaria couldn’t help but laugh with them, even though she felt a little on the outside of their easy rapport. After all, if Bernadette wished to look at Lightmorrow through batting lashes, she could. If Flora wanted to push them together, which was definitely what her playful expression implied, that was fine, as well. They were both free in a way Valaria wasn’t. And that had nothing to do with the long months of mourning left ahead of her. She would likely never feel free enough to flirt or play like that.
Her future might not be entirely lonely. She felt certain she would be friends with these two women, and she could fill her life with music and art and other pursuits that pleased her now that there was no one standing over her shoulder to stop her.
But there were some doors that would be…would always be…closed.
Callum paced the floor of the parlor, pausing only occasionally at the fire to stare at the crackling flames. He pivoted to start his march across the room once more when Theo cleared his throat.
“For God’s sake, you’ll wear a path in the carpet.” He held out the drink Callum had abandoned on the sideboard a short time before. “Sip your drink and try not to act like a lost puppy.”
Callum glared at him and took the glass. “I’m not a lost puppy.”
Theo tilted his head. “This woman has truly gotten under your skin,” he murmured. “How? You barely know her.”
Callum let out a long sigh. For a moment he considered playing like he didn’t know who Theo was talking about, but it would only drag out the inevitable. And if there was anyone he could trust to discuss a testy subject, it was this man.
“I think you know I always felt an attraction to her,” he said slowly. “Valaria. I suppose that made me a bastard.”
“You didn’t act on it,” Theo said with a shrug. “That would have made you a bastard. Though perhaps Silas wouldn’t have given a damn.”
Callum pursed his lips. Most of the time he might have defended Silas’s memory against the arrows Theo seemed determined to sling. But in this case, he couldn’t.
“Silas made no secret of his affairs, no,” he agreed. “I tried to talk about it with him a few times, but he made the point that many a man of rank has dalliances on the side. And he was…not wrong.”
Of course, it had all felt wrong. Callum couldn’t have imagined stepping out on Valaria. On any woman he called wife. When he took those vows, he would take them with a serious intent. His fun outside his own home would be finished. And he hoped he would find a bride who desired him enough that there would be no sense of loss in that fact.
“Do you think that’s why she is so reticent to have your help?” Theo asked. “Or your presence at all? Does she know about Silas’s mistresses?”
Callum pondered that question. “I don’t know. I suppose she might. And if she blamed his cronies for his behavior and included me in their ranks, perhaps it would explain why she wants me to stay away.” He shook his head. “I see that she’s in pain and I want to ease it.”
“That isn’t your duty,” Theo said gently. “Friend to her late husband or not.”
Callum shrugged, and was happy when his butler, Morris, entered the room. “The Duchesses Tunbridge, Sidmouth and Gooding, Your Graces.”
He stepped away and the ladies entered the room one by one, looking lovely in their finery. Valaria came in last, her gown a black satin that flowed over her curves. There were a few touches to it, including stitched flowers on her shoulder and the hem.
“Welcome, ladies,” he said, shaking off his initial reaction to having her here. “May I pour some drinks for you before supper?”
He moved to the sideboard and poured sherry for the Duchess of Sidmouth and madeira for the Duchess of Tunbridge. When he turned his attention to Valaria, she bent her head. “Nothing for me, thank you.”
Without saying more, she stepped away, walking to the double doors that led to the terrace and staring through their glass as if she were planning her escape.
Callum pursed his lips and watched her, even as he joined Theo and his other two guests. Theo’s suggestion that perhaps Valaria avoided him because she thought him involved in some way with Silas’s infidelity kept returning to his mind. Had she loved his late friend so deeply that her pain could not allow her to be protected by him?
And if he could speak to her on the subject, would he be able to ease her mind? After all, with Franklin puffed up on his own new power and her brothers apparently estranged from her, she might need assistance in the future. He wanted to offer it to her.
He returned his attention to the group and found Theo watching him, one eyebrow arched in playful accusation. He glared back. Theo might believe otherwise, but his attraction to Valaria was not in any way at play in his behavior. He could separate his mind from his cock, even if his friend wasn’t capable.
“I think I will take a bit of air before supper,” Valaria said from the terrace. Without waiting for a response, she stepped out of the room.
For a moment the other two duchesses exchanged a look, but they seemed to resolve any hesitations about what to do regarding Valaria, for they both returned to careful conversation with Theo. Callum waited a moment, staring at the door where she had gone, anxiety and drive to follow rising up in his chest. Finally, he couldn’t deny it anymore.
He huffed out a breath and moved toward the terrace. “I-I will go make certain Her Grace is well.”
He thought he heard Theo say his name, but he ignored it as he stepped outside and pulled the doors shut behind him. He had always loved this terrace. It was wide, wrapping around most of the back of the house so that someone who exited a parlor at one end could meet with someone who had exited from another. Certainly assignations had occurred out here because of that access, but he wasn’t thinking of that as he peered around the darkness for Valaria. No small feat considering her black dress would help her easily melt into the shadows.
He could not find her and at last said, “Valaria?”
There was silence and he repeated her name. With a sigh, she stepped from the space at the corner of the terrace and folded her arms. “What do you want, Your Grace?”
He wrinkled his brow. “Were you…hiding from me?”
She pursed her lips. “I came out here for a moment alone.”
He looked back toward the parlor he had exited. Inside he could see the duchesses still engaged in conversation with Theo. He could go back, but this was an opportunity to resolve at least some issue between him and Valaria.
So he moved half a step toward her and tried to ignore her sharp intake of breath when he did so.
“Have I done something to offend you, Your Grace?” he asked softly.
“No,” she answered swiftly. Too swiftly, considering she also turned her face so that her expression was hidden again by shadow.
“Valaria,” he said, more sharply. A demand rather than a request.
She seemed to understand that because she narrowed her gaze at him. “I don’t understand what you want from me, Callum. Is it thanks for your gift? Will that appease you?”
He stared. “I did not send you the books so that you would thank me,” he explained slowly. “I did it entirely for your pleasure. If I was wrong in doing so, I apologize.”