“What?” I almost choke on my words. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he cared. But I do know better. “Do we have a deal?”
His answer is immediate.
“Yes. Neither of these stories will make it to publish.”
“No, run mine—put it on Page Six and make sure we look like lovebirds. It’ll make the Hearst family want to do damage control and lock everything down. They won’t want any information out about what really happened. And you’ll already have controlled the narrative just in case. You could spin it to make Grey look like a goddamn hero.”
Caroline lets out a whistle, and I wink in return. My father clears his throat, and suddenly I feel nervous because he isn’t speaking.
“I don’t know what to say, Donovan.”
“Agree to the terms. That’s all.”
“Done…but…I have to say something. I always thought you were like your mother,” he states without emotion.
I take it, trying not to let it hurt before I snap back defensively, “I know. Calculating whore, got it.”
His voice rushes out, uncharacteristic of his manner. “But I think you may be more like me after all. There was a time when I was loyal, protective, and fought fiercely for the things I believe in. Unfortunately, I forgot those qualities until you just reminded me that I haven’t used them in about five years.”
Did my dad just tell me he’s proud of me?
“Okay, well, thank you for the help,” I say a little quieter, a little more grateful. “I’ll check in later?”
“Okay.”
Grey
MY CHEST BURNS WITH THE force that my breath leaves my body as I hurl a book across the room and charge at Liam again. The sound of the paper flutters in the air as Kai’s arm goes around my neck, pulling me backward, trying to get me to settle, but it’s not going to happen. They’ve doubled down, trying to keep me contained, but nothing matters anymore.
My thoughts are singular. Donovan.
“Grey. Chill,” Kai roars, trying to keep me off balance.
My elbow lands a heavy blow to his stomach, and the wind leaves his body, forcing his arm to loosen. I twist, shoving him off me as he stumbles over to where Liam is standing in front of the door. Rage courses through my body and burns my vision, only matched by the force of their determination.
“We’ll do this all fucking night, boys. I can walk through the door or break your bodies getting to the door. But trust me, I’m leaving.”
“You aren’t going to her like this,” Liam threatens, narrowing his eyes at me.
I want to break his neck. My throbbing face has me rubbing a hand up my jaw as I walk toward them. They don’t get any credit, though, because this pain is from earlier today and not from these two assholes.
“You don’t get to tell me shit when it comes to her, Liam. She’s mine.”
He bristles at the word. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it, because now that I’ve said it aloud, I’ll never fucking stop. Liam runs his hand over his shaved head and spins around, letting out a growl as he walks back to the door, in need of space.
“You aren’t the only one who loves her! You’re just the only one she loves.”
His words are hurled at me as he turns back around, sucking all the bravado out of my body. I’m not the only one who loves her. I know that. Liam wants to keep her safe, but she’s always safest with me.
“I know I look like an animal.” I understand why they won’t let me past, but I can’t stop. “But I need her.”
It won’t stop. Not until I can feel her breath against my neck, her arms wrapped around me, and those eyes fixed on mine. That’s what they can’t understand, my need for her…it’s as automatic inside me as the blood pumping through my veins. She keeps me alive. Without her, I’m dying in little pieces, painfully and destructively.
“Not tonight,” he levels.
A roar leaves my lips. “Fuck you!”
I reach down and flip the mahogany coffee table, sending it flying. An ashtray hits the floor, books scatter, and the wood creaks as it lands with a thud, flipped over onto its top. As the two of them prepare for us to tussle again, they take a few steps toward me slowly, rolling their shoulders, eyes locked to mine, when the faint swish of the door against the rug pulls our eyes. But it’s the familiar raspy voice standing in the open doorway that halts our movements immediately.
“Grey.”
It’s one word. Just my name, but said from her lips, and my shoulders relax, a heavy breath leaving my body the moment I see her face. Her beautiful blue eyes stare at me, heartbroken, angry but full of love as she walks inside the dismantled room. Inside my chaos.
I can’t move. With every step she takes, my body starts to feel weak, like all the fight in me is leaving. I can feel my breath shake in my inhale, and my hands lift slightly, like they’re trying to get to her faster. Donovan passes in between Liam and Kai, but it’s Liam who tries to stop her. She doesn’t even pause, brushing his arm from her.
“No,” she answers to his touch but keeps her eyes on my face. “I’ve got him. Go…I’m fine. Leave us alone.”
His eyes narrow, brows drawing together in anger, as he starts to reach for her again, but stops, letting her pass. She closes the distance between us, standing in front of me and blinking down above the freckles that I dream about every night. Those beautifully red-rimmed blue eyes stare up, mimicking the torment I feel. My chest rises and falls, rattled by all my unspoken words.
I love you. Forgive me. Never leave me.
But nothing comes out. I can’t open my mouth, only stare back down at her. So much silence passes, but it doesn’t feel quiet. Our energy is buzzing all around us. Her hand lifts slowly, settling onto my chest, all our thoughts playing out on our faces as my eyes close, listening to her soft voice soothe every part of my soul and her words punish it.
“You broke my heart.”
“I was trying to prove it was mine.”
I open my eyes and bring my hands up to cradle her face as I hear the door click shut, leaving us alone. I wish I could take it all back, do it differently. But I can’t.
“I’m sorry. For all of it,” I rush out, finally able to speak. “You should hate me.”
She should hate me, for all the cruelty and the bulldozing, and never forgive me. I’d deserve it. Her eyes shine as she shakes her head slowly.
“I can’t hate you.” Her fingers curl around my T-shirt, bringing me closer to her. “But I’m not sure I can forgive you.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
So many emotions war on her face, eyes glistening with her imprisoned tears, as she stares back at me.
“Grey. That’s not fair.”
I love her. I’ll never play fair, but I can’t hurt her anymore. I won’t. My head drops down, ashamed at what I’ve done today. She deserves better.
“Then don’t forgive me.”
Her hands grip my shirt tighter as I look up. She’s biting her lip, deep lines marring the in between of her eyes. “Grey, don’t say that.”
My head shakes as I bring my hand to her cheek. She’s so beautiful, and I don’t deserve her. “Punish me. Hate me.” Her hand reaches up to cover my mouth, but I pull it away. “Walk away.”