I’d fucked her.
Raw and dirty.
With no care for something as sacred as her virginity. It wasn’t mine to take. No one else was ever supposed to touch her, damn it. But especially not me.
Not when all I wanted to do was dominate her. Make her do depraved things that someone so innocent—angelic—should never be subjected to.
Things I only wanted to do to her.
I couldn’t bend Ellianna to my will.
But if she stayed, I would lose control again.
“I was half drunk. You weren’t supposed to be here!”
She was at Howler’s.
The reminder was enough to have me pulling at my hair as I tried to leash the urge to find my best friend and crack his skull open. Deep down, I knew she was safe with him. Howler loved Lyla. He only looked at Ellianna as a sister.
But he still cared about her.
Which meant there was always the chance that either of them could develop stronger feelings.
And then I really would lose my mind.
“If I’d known there was a chance of you coming back, I never would have had so much as a drink.”
“I… My mom…” Ellianna cleared her throat as she sat up, folding the ruined pink shirt around her, hiding her perfect body from me. That was the safe thing to do. But now, I ached to tear it from her body completely. Allow my eyes to feast on every inch of her perfection. “Mom wanted me to make sure you had a healthy dinner. She… Um, she’s worried about…about your…cholesterol.”
God, I could still taste her on my lips. Her honey scent was on my face. I already dreaded showering because I knew it was the last time I would be blessed with both.
“You shouldn’t have been here.”
Her chin wobbled, and I had to clench my hands into fists to keep from reaching for her again. But I knew—fuck, I knew—if I touched her even for a fraction of a second, I would be inside her again in no time.
“I know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I-I never should have come back in the first place.”
No. She shouldn’t have. All she’d done was test my control.
And now it was gone.
I couldn’t risk her being there for another minute.
“You have to go back,” I gritted out, my heart throbbing with each word I spat at her. But if she stayed, I wouldn’t be able to hold on now that I knew what she tasted like. How good her tight pussy felt wrapped around my cock. “Today. I’ll get you on the first flight out. Make up whatever excuse you need to in order to convince your mom. But you have to leave. Now.”
Tears spilled over her golden lashes when she nodded. “Okay.”
“Go pack your things,” I commanded, looking up at the ceiling so I didn’t give in to temptation. Didn’t cave at the sight of her tears. Every muscle in my body ached from holding myself back, keeping the much-needed distance between us. “I’ll charter a jet. You’ll be back on the West Coast long before the sun comes up.”
If she’d been on the other side of the world, it still wouldn’t have been far enough away to dampen my need now, but I’d have to find a way to make do with the other side of the country.
“O-okay.”
My need to look at her became too much, and I turned to look out the window, which was a mistake. I could see her sitting on my desk, her hands tugging at the sides of the shirt, trying to stretch the material as she wrapped it around herself more securely. Clenching my eyes closed, I inhaled slowly through my nose.
“I don’t want you working at that diner any longer. The library work-study is fine, but no more waiting tables.”
With each tick of the clock that she didn’t respond, my head began to pound harder until I could feel my heartbeat in my temple. “Ellianna.”
“You called me Elli,” she said so softly, I had to strain to hear her. “Just a little while ago, I was your Elli again.”
My lids began to lift, but I quickly squeezed them shut tighter. She had always been my Elli. She always would be.
“Ellianna,” I bit out, using her full name as a reminder to myself that I couldn’t have her. “No more diner.”
Again, she didn’t respond.
Angrily, I turned my head. She was sitting on the edge of the desk, her feet dangling over the floor. She looked so small and delicate, so fragile. “Did you hear me?”
Turning her head to stare at the wall, she nodded. “I heard you.”
“Good. All the money Tabor has been pocketing will be in your account this week. Do you have enough cash for food and necessities until then?”
Her hair fell forward, hiding her face from me. “I have what I need.”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” I snapped in frustration. Fuck, I couldn’t handle the idea of her not having enough to eat.
“I won’t starve,” she said, her tone exhausted.
Pulling my wallet from my back pocket, I extracted all the cash I had. Being close enough to touch her was dangerous for us both, but I needed to make sure she had enough money. Crossing to the desk, I grabbed her hand, hating that her fingers trembled when I touched her.
She jerked back when I pressed the bills into her hands, but I wrapped her fingers around the money. Her head snapped up, and I saw the flash of hurt in her eyes. “What are you—”
“Take it.”
“Oh God,” she whispered, her beautiful face going tight. “This is really happening. You’re… And for a moment, I actually believed that—” Breaking off, she shook her head, laughing humorlessly. “I’m so stupid.”
Hopping down off the desk, she walked toward the door, dropping the money on the floor as she went.
“Ellianna, take the money,” I ordered.
“Fuck off,” she called over her shoulder, almost to the door.
“Ellianna!”
Turning sharply, she glared at me from across the room. “I’m not some whore you can fuck on your desk and then pay to forget about it, Zachary.”
I jerked in reaction to her words. “That’s not what I—”
“Bullshit,” she spat, cutting me off. “That’s exactly what you were doing.”
“I would never treat you like a fucking whore!” I shouted, pissed that she would even think such a thing.
Her shoulders dropped in defeat. “You just did.”
“No,” I rasped. “No, baby, that’s not true.”
“I can’t believe I loved you,” she said with a humorless laugh. Lifting her head, she scrubbed at her wet cheeks with the hand not holding her shirt together. “God, you’re such a bastard.”
Her words hit me directly in the center, making it difficult to suck in a breath.
She loved me.
“I’m leaving. Don’t worry about me coming back here. Trust me, I’ll never make that mistake again.”
She loved me.
That was all I heard. All I could think about.
Did it change anything?
I didn’t know.
But before I could figure out if it did or not, she was gone. I was so lost in the sensation of having her confess she loved me, I wasn’t aware of when she left.
By the time I snapped out of it, I couldn’t fucking find her.