Less than two minutes after sneaking the pup into bed, Nya’s rhythmic snore lulls me to sleep.
It barely feels like I’ve closed my eyes when the alarm to wake Ellie for school sounds. My very first thought is that I can’t believe the dog actually slept through the night.
Then, the dog… where the hell could she have gone?
I sit up, looking under and over the covers and behind the pillow for the little thing, but she’s nowhere in sight. And then I spot her… curled up in Nya’s hair on her pillow.
Smothering a laugh, I reach over to retrieve her, but her nails get stuck, and when I lift, Nya jerks up with a yelp. “Did you just pull my hair?”
“Uh, sorry. I was trying to move the pillows to wake you and my fingers got caught.”
She squints, eying the ball of fur in my arm with derision. “Take that thing out before it pees in my room. I’ll go wake Ellie.”
Nya
Beasty
“She hardly looks like a beast.” Hannah stares at the floor, making goo-goo eyes at my latest unwelcome house guest before pushing past me into the entry way and dropping her purse and keys on the console table.
The pint-sized dog is circling my feet. I’ve been tripping over the little shit all morning.
I thought dogs were supposed to be smart. For instance, shouldn’t this one be able to sense the fact that I don’t like her? “Don’t let all that cuteness fool you, bestie. She’s a pain in the ass.”
“Hey, Hannah Banana.” The other resident thorn in my side strolls out of the kitchen in his slut suit—shirtless, in a pair of low-slung gray sweats with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a glazed donut in the other. His hair is sticking up in all directions, and he could use a shave. Lord knows it would go a long way to helping me control this constant urge I have to run my fingers over that damn delicious stubble of his.
My best friend waggles her brows at me. “Morning, Liam,” she singsongs, as he passes us on his way back to the bedroom.
I glare at his back. “Keep eating all that crap food and you’re gonna lose that V you’ve worked so hard for.”
Liam pauses, looking down at his chiseled abs and the drool inducing lines in question, and smirks back at us over his shoulder. “I ain’t worried.” He takes a bite of his donut then runs his tongue along his lips to pick up the leftover sugar and my pulse soars. “I’m a married man now. I can let myself go.”
Shaking my head, I bite back a laugh. “Really?”
He shrugs. “Who needs a V when you can eat like a king and still have a U?” He fills his mouth with another bite. “Mmm,” he moans around the food. “Yeah, that dad bod doesn’t sound too bad right about now.” With a wink, he leaves the two of us drooling after him.
“Tell me you’ve been hitting that?” Hannah whispers after she picks her jaw up off the floor.
“Ugh,” I groan, stumbling over the dog on the way to the kitchen to make my morning cup of tea. “Not.” I scowl at her over my shoulder while filling the kettle with water.
“Why the hell not? That is the very first thing I’d have done.”
“Well,” I say, after setting the kettle on the burner. “First of all, as far as I’m concerned, we’re married in name only. I don’t know why I have to keep reminding everyone of that. Secondly, I don’t want to—to fall back under his spell…”
“You’re afraid you’ll end up dickstruck,” she interjects. “I’m on to you, sista.” Hannah takes her first two fingers and points them at her own eyes then toward me as if to say, “I’m watching you.”
Biting my lip, I ignore the little flip in my tummy and retrieve two mugs from the cabinet above the stove, dropping a spiced apple tea bag into each. My mouth starts to water as the aroma wafts into the air. “Precisely…and even if I wanted to—which I do not,” I say, pointing at the yippy little baby-dog staring at me, “we now have a shrieking ogre that more than kills the mood.”
“Hmm.” My best friend rests a finger against her lips. “Have you tried putting one of your shirts in the kennel or a stuffed animal for her to sleep with?”
“What?” Why the heck would I think to do that?
“When I got Savage, I got him one of those build-your-own bears from the mall. They put a heartbeat sound machine thingy inside of its chest. The vet suggested it at his first checkup.”
“And that worked?” Her little bulldog is pretty well trained. Might be worth a shot.
“Slept like a baby,” she gloats, taking a sip from her tea before spitting it right back into the cup, gagging. “Eww. What the hell is this?”
“It’s spiced apple chai.”
“Tastes like fucking potpourri.”
“Where have you been all day, love of my life?” Liam shifts in his chair, raising his hips to pull his wallet from his back pocket and check for his credit card when he sees all the bags I’m toting.
I can’t help but to laugh at the relief on his face once he finds it still tucked inside. “Hannah and I went out for supplies for Beasty.”
“Beasty?”
“You know, that little brute by your feet.”
The dog’s head pops up at the sound of my voice, and once again she’s nipping at my heels.
“Look what I got you.” I remove the stuffed monkey from its box and press his hand to turn the heartbeat on and then drop it at her feet.
“You brought her a teddy bear?” His face softens, like he actually believes I’ve gone and fallen head over heels in love with the annoying thing. “It’s twice her size.”
I shrug. “She’ll grow into it. Hannah says it will help her sleep at night… make her feel like there is someone else in the kennel with her. It’s worth a—No! Bad dog!”
At the sound of his loud guffaws, I swivel my head to find Liam bowled over in hysterics watching as the little bitch pops a squat right on top of the almost fifty-dollar stuffed monkey. Yep, the one I just spent half the day driving out to the mall for. The ass doesn’t even try to stop her.
“Ungrateful little vermin.”
He’s still winding down from his fit of laughter when he asks whether I want to take the dog out or clean up her mess.
“Excuse me? What part of me not wanting anything to do with this pet situation did you not comprehend?”
“Midge has to be taught to go outside when she makes a mistake—”
“Mistake?” I screech cutting him off. “That looked very intentional from where I’m standing.”
“Look, someone needs to take her now. If I do both, the urine will dry into the carpet while we’re out there. You gotta meet me halfway.”
Sucking my lips to my teeth, I bend to lift the dog by the loose skin behind the neck. I stretch my arm, holding her as far from my person as possible. “I’ll take it out. You can clean the mess. Just throw the monkey away… I can’t believe she did that.”
“She’s a dog, babe… She was marking her territory. It’s what they do… means she liked it.”