Then her arm reached out and a hand covered mine. I considered pulling away. I thought about yanking my hand from beneath hers and tucking it into my lap, denying her the affection she’d denied me for too fucking long. That’s what the old Blake would’ve done. The angry, bitter, vibe-less Blake. The one who’d wondered if the world would’ve been a better place if he just ceased to exist. But he was gone, and in his wake was me. A strong man deserving of family and love, even from this woman sitting across from him. Because hadn’t we all been broken, in our own way? That accident twenty-four years ago had shattered us all and sent our pieces swirling in a chaotic wind. But maybe with time, those fragmented bits could come to settle in the same place. Maybe we could rebuild. Maybe we could become something better, something good.
“He’s better with you, Blake,” Mom admitted confidently. “I’m done fighting that.”
Then I allowed myself to smile. Because it felt like a step in the right direction.
Chapter Thirty-Six
“I WANNA GO HOME,” Jake said for what must’ve been the three-thousandth time in just a couple of days.
The doctors were keeping him in the hospital for the time being, to undergo rehab and observation, before being discharged. By some unbelievable miracle, he hadn’t suffered any further brain damage, and now his mobility needed strengthening after weeks of lying in bed. Otherwise, he seemed to be okay, all things considered.
To be honest, I’d seen more unbelievable things happen recently and nothing seemed to surprise me anymore.
“I know, buddy,” I said, laying my hand on his leg. “Soon.”
I hadn’t told him yet that he’d be staying with me. Not for a prolonged visit or a sleepover, but permanently. It was for his own good to remain in the dark for now. Knowing would’ve made him more impatient, which only meant he’d be even more difficult for his nurses and doctors. Still, keeping the secret had been tough for me, and even now, my legs jounced with the excitement.
My eyes darted quickly to my phone as I checked the time. Dad caught the motion and asked, “Do you have to get going?”
Reluctantly, I nodded. “Yeah. I have to be at Audrey’s place soon, and I still have to change before I can head over there.”
“I wanna see Audrey,” Jake whined. “And Freddy.”
“They’re coming by tomorrow, buddy, remember?” I assured him, patting his leg.
Then, I stood up and faced my parents. “You guys good here?”
Mom assured me with a sturdy nod. “We’re fine. Dad brought over a Lego set to do with Jake. You go, enjoy dinner. Tell Audrey and Freddy we said hi.”
“I will,” I said, watching as Dad positioned Jake’s table over his bed. He smiled at my brother in a way I hadn’t seen in years, and I could’ve wept at the sight of him ruffling Jake’s shaggy hair. Something in that told me we’d be okay. We still had a long way to go, but I allowed myself to believe that we’d get there.
“All right, buddy,” I said, and Jake gave me his full attention, despite the temptation of Legos. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
He caught my eyes and grinned. “You betcha.”
***
In a black sweater, black leather jacket, and black pants, I felt I looked the part as much as I was ever going to. Meeting members of the family and dressing to impress … It was never going to be my thing, but for Audrey, I was willing to put in more of an effort.
I was nervous, though. Tonight, I’d be seeing my shrink, Dr. Vanessa Travetti, as strictly Vanessa, the girlfriend of Audrey’s late sister. I didn’t know what to expect from that or how I was supposed to behave. I wondered if I should style my hair differently, to make myself less like the Blake she knew inside her office. But I resisted the urge and decided I was fine, before heading over to the other side of town.
Passing by St. Peter’s on the way to Audrey’s, I smiled at the Christmas Eve Mass crowd, blocking the view of the crowded headstones behind the wrought iron fence. Maybe next year, I’d find myself there, with my parents and brother, the way we used to. Maybe I’d even bring Audrey and Freddy along as well, despite her insistence that she didn’t need Church to feel close to God. But for now, I just looked up high, to rest my gaze on the cross within the bricked exterior and nodded my head in thanks.
When I got to Audrey’s place, I grinned at her house, decorated to the nines in twinkling lights, plastic reindeer, and a wooden Nativity scene, among other decorations. If these people loved Halloween, they were absolutely obsessed with Christmas, and that didn’t surprise me much. I burrowed my hands in my pockets, moving up the walkway toward the porch, when Jason stepped outside with his baby daughter, Eliza.
“Hey, it’s the Tattoo Guy!” he bellowed excitedly, extending a hand. “Good to see you, man. Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas,” I greeted him, as we shook. “What are you guys doing out here?”
“Just getting a little fresh air,” he said, rocking Eliza gently. “I was so happy to hear Jake’s doing well.”
I smiled at the sentiment. “Thanks. Yeah, he should be home soon.”
“Amazing. Talk about a Christmas miracle, right?” His smile was infectious, and I allowed my grin to broaden.
“Yeah. Seriously.”
Clapping a hand against his shoulder, I told him I’d see him inside, before pushing through the door, heavily adorned with garland and lights. The house was packed with neighbors, friends, and what little I recognized of her family—more specifically, her cousins, Regina and Nicole. I hadn’t seen them since that night at the poetry club, but they noticed me right away.
They rushed toward me with drinks in hand, wishing me a merry Christmas and saying it was so nice to see me again.
“We’ve heard you’ve made quite the impact on our girl,” Nicole commented, brushing her arm against mine. “I bawled like a baby when she told me you love her. I can’t handle that type of shit right now. Not until I get this kid out of me, at least.”
I chuckled. “I’ll assume that’s water in your glass, then.”
Wagging a finger at me, she tsk-tsked. “Pretending it’s wine, thank you very much.”
Regina nudged her head over her shoulder toward the stairs. “Audrey’s upstairs, if you’re looking for her. She’s been driving herself crazy all day, getting ready for this shindig, so lay the compliments on thick, okay?”
Chuckling again, I nodded. “Noted.”
I headed upstairs to her parents’ part of the house. There, I found Audrey and her mother, bustling around the kitchen in aprons and oven mitts, while listening to a rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” I’d heard a time or two before—I think it was Coldplay. I leaned against the doorframe and watched her, in her cranberry red velvet dress and glistening curls, until she turned and spotted me through startled blue eyes.
“Good Lord, Blake!” she shouted, pressing her hand to her heart.
“For someone so big, you’re pretty quiet,” Ann commented, smirking in my direction.
“I told you, I’m a vampire,” I joked as Audrey came to stand closer to me. I slipped my hand around her waist and pressed a kiss to her forehead.