“We’ll have dinner soon,” I assure him.
We finish our espressos shortly and part with a shake and a promise.
“To our alliance,” Seamus says.
I grin. “And our friendship.”
I’m halfway home when the idea of going back to my empty apartment feels too depressing to cope with. Before I know it, I’ve turned around and am driving to Molly’s.
I knock three times and then let myself in with a key.
“Hello,” I call from the entryway, not wanting to startle her. However, my words are lost to the sound of music. Loud music.
I follow the sound to the living room where Molly and Hannah are standing in the middle of the room … with microphones … singing.
After the crazy few days I’ve had, it takes me a second to understand the happy scene in front of me. Two friends singing karaoke doesn’t jive with assassins and traitorous friends and brothers. They can’t coexist in the same story.
They are singing a duet, and Molly throws her head back during her part, eyes closed, belting it out to the ceiling. Half of the notes are off-key and shrieked, but she is passionate and loud and … happy.
Then, Molly turns towards me, and her eyes go wide, and her cheeks flush with embarrassment. She lowers her microphone and covers her face with her hand.
She is adorable.
Hannah carries on singing, pointing at Theo and encouraging him to dance, until she notices Molly has stopped and then notices me. As soon as she does, Hannah spins around and turns off the karaoke machine.
“Sorry to interrupt,” I say.
“Well, you did interrupt,” Molly says, walking across the room, her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment, though her mouth is pulled into a smile. She grabs my hand and pulls me across the room. “So, it’s your turn.”
I let out a sharp laugh. “Yeah, no. That won’t happen.”
Theo wraps his arms around my legs and tries to drag me forward. “Come on, siiiiing.”
“Nooooo,” I say back to him in the same tone of voice. “It won’t happen, but I will gladly watch.”
Molly narrows her eyes at me playfully and then shrugs. “Fine, but no making fun of us.”
“Never,” I say, making a cross over my heart.
Hannah’s joy seems to have dimmed since I arrived, and she glances over at me with narrowed eyes before she turns the music back on and continues singing.
I sit on the couch, and Theo practically hurls himself at me. He crawls into my lap and claps as his mom and Hannah sing another song. He even gets me to clap along, however reluctantly.
By the third song, I’m holding onto Theo’s hands and waving them in the air to the beat, and he is giggling and joining in with the words he remembers.
The moment feels impossible. More like a dream than reality.
But I smile and enjoy myself so much that I can almost completely ignore the sour looks Hannah throws my way, clearly still upset by the fight she witnessed a few days earlier.
I can focus on Molly and Theo and this moment for our family—a happy break in the chaos.
13
Molly
Niamh’s library is as big as my living room and dining room put together.
“What do you think?” Niamh asks, carrying in two mugs of tea. “Is it worth your time?”
“Absolutely,” I say, unable to hide my enthusiasm. “This room is huge. It has so much potential.”
I’m slightly embarrassed by my outburst. Despite living in Viktor’s apartment and now in my own luxury space, I’m still not used to exactly how much more the other half have.
Niamh and Seamus have an actual house with three floors and huge windows and chandeliers so big I flinch a bit every time I walk underneath one, afraid it will come crashing down over my head.
She sets our drinks down on a large black rectangle that is serving as a coffee table and gestures for me to sit on the leather sofa next to her. “Good. I’m so excited to bring some life back into this room.”
“It’s a little dark in here,” I admit.
It’s an understatement. Heavy dark curtains hang over the windows, the walls are painted a dark gray, and the wood floors have been stained a brown so dark it is nearly black. Any light that manages to come through the open windows is immediately absorbed, leaving the entire room in gloom.
“A little?” Niamh laughs. “I feel like I’m being buried alive. I can’t wait for you to use your magic touch on the space. I loved the pictures of Theo’s nursery that Viktor sent. It looks lovely.”
“A lot of that was Viktor’s designer’s decision. Honestly, I’ll probably reach out to her for guidance through this process. I want to make sure you are happy and that I do a good job.”
“You’ll do great,” Niamh assures me, laying her hand over mine. “Viktor has faith in you, so I do, too.”
I smile in thanks and then shrug. “Viktor has more faith in me than I do.”
“Because he loves you.”
I know it is true, but it feels strange to hear it stated so boldly. Sometimes I forget so many people think we are truly married.
“Part of it is that you are still in the honeymoon period, too,” Niamh says. “Seamus is sweet on me, but never quite as sweet as right after we got married. Is Viktor the same way?”
A week ago, I would have had to lie. But not now.
Viktor has stayed with me the last two nights. Ever since he walked in on Hannah and me singing karaoke. He didn’t tell me he would be coming over, but I was happy to see him. So, I invited him to stay and then never asked him to leave. We’ve slept in the same bed and eaten breakfast together and done normal married couple things.
It has been nice.
“He’s the same way,” I nod.
“Is your boss a boss in the bedroom, too?” Niamh asks, eyebrows wagging.
My entire body goes warm, and Niamh must be able to see my blush because she giggles. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
The physical part of my relationship with Viktor has never been difficult. It is the emotional part that we have trouble with.
I woke up in the middle of the night last night to Viktor tossing and turning. He was whispering in his sleep. Just the word “no” over and over again. When I shook him awake, he sat straight up, his eyes wide, and then sighed in relief when he realized where he was.
“Bad dream?” I asked, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
“A memory,” he admitted. “The fire.”
The fire that killed his parents.
He told me about it only once and had never spoken of it again.
He saved his brother and couldn’t save his parents, no matter how badly Fedor wanted him to. Viktor wouldn’t admit it, but he felt guilty. I tried to soothe him with my touch, but I could see his eyes were distracted, and eventually, he kissed my cheek and rolled away from me.
I couldn’t blame him. I still haven’t decided whether I will leave him or not … when this is all over. It makes sense why he doesn’t want to be vulnerable with me.
Still, I wish he would be.
“I’m thinking about linen curtains here,” Niamh says, pulling me from my thoughts.