She laughs, but then frowns. “Sorry, that sounds dark. It’s just …”
“Life kicked the crap out of you,” I finish for her. “You don’t have to apologize to me.”
She gives me a sad smile and sighs. “Hannah gets me, you know? I know the two of you are tense around each other, but she knew me before the shit hit the fan, and I like that we have so much in common. She understands my feelings on a lot of things. In a way no one else can.”
The knife in my stomach twists. “Not even me?”
“Not even you,” she says gently. Molly curls her fingers around my hand on her thigh. “You’ve been through a lot, too, but Hannah and I both had kids so young and spent time on the streets. We lived the same way for so long that we can understand each other.”
I nod and swallow.
So much has been taken from Molly in her lifetime. Do I really want to take this away, too? She has a friend. Someone she likes and relates to and trusts. Can I really strip that away?
“Viktor?” Molly’s voice is gentle. “Are you mad?”
Hannah was drunk. That much was obvious.
Even though her actions were reprehensible, there is every chance she’ll wake up and deeply regret them. Or, better yet, that she won’t remember the encounter at all. Should I really threaten their friendship over something that might not matter after a good night’s sleep and a few painkillers?
“Nothing.” I shake my head and kiss her. “It’s nothing.”
I kick off my shoes, slide out of my jeans, and crawl under the blankets with Molly. She closes her laptop and curls into me, too. As though it is normal. Natural. As though we’ve done this every night before this and we’ll do it every night after.
It feels good enough that I allow myself to forget what happened in the kitchen.
If it happens again, I’ll tell Molly. Without hesitation.
But for now, I’ll find solace in Molly.
A voice in the back of my head reminds me that I need to stay cold, detached. When I relax and let my guard down, bad things happen. But with Molly’s small body curled against mine, her breath warm on my chest, it’s impossible to feel anything other than delicious warmth.
15
Molly
“Wait, so you are holding a photo shoot today so you have family pictures in your house to impress the boss of an Irish Mafiosa?”
“Exactly,” I say, sighing and shaking my head. “It sounds crazy when you say it like that.”
“It is crazy,” Hannah says, taking a long sip of coffee. “I just don’t understand why it is important that you look like a picture-perfect family. Aren’t these people your friends?”
“I hope so,” I admit. “I really like Niamh, but it is also important for an alliance. We have to make sure they trust us.”
Hannah nods. “So, you’re going to lie to them?”
I stab my eggs and shove them in my mouth. “I guess so.”
“Sounds healthy.”
I don’t respond. Partly because I’ve shoved another bite of eggs into my mouth and partly because Hannah’s tone is annoying. I’m not sure whether she means to or not, but every comment is a subtle dig at my marriage. At my relationship. I’ve allowed her to live here with me and it feels like she is judging me and Viktor at every turn.
“I don’t understand why you can’t just tell them the truth. You are married, but you both like your space.” Hannah shrugs. “It definitely isn’t normal, and most people would think it hinted at issues in your relationship, but that is between you and your husband.”
“Exactly,” I snap. “Me and my husband.”
Hannah must take my not very subtle hint because her eyes widen in a moment of surprise and then she devotes herself wholly to finishing her breakfast and coffee.
I’ve confided in Hannah about a lot of things, but Viktor and I are moving towards being in a good place, and I don’t want to feel bad about how we got here. I have enough stress in my life without worrying what Hannah thinks of it all, too. I know she isn’t entirely happy that Viktor has been staying over, but again, it isn’t her business. If she doesn’t want to live with him, then she can find her own place.
“Hey,” Hannah says, snapping her fingers like she has just had a great idea. “If you two need to take some couple’s photos, I can keep an eye on Theo for a while.”
“They are family photos,” I say sharply. I immediately regret my harsh tone. I can tell she is trying to make amends for overstepping. “But thanks.”
“Oh I know. I just know how kids can be taking photos. It might be easier if I just brought him by the shoot a little later so you could get pictures with him after you’ve done couple photos.”
“It will be fine, I’m sure. There will be people there to entertain him if he gets rowdy.” I finish off the last bit of coffee in my mug and stand up to head inside. Viktor and Theo are inside playing together. I invited them to breakfast with us, but Viktor seemed reluctant, so I didn’t push it.
Hannah follows after me, nearly breathless. “I guess I just wanted some company. The house is so empty when you all are gone. I really don’t mind keeping an eye on him for—”
“It’s fine, Hannah.” The words come out on a laugh, mostly out of exasperation. I’m not sure why this is so important to her. I know she has been missing her own son, but this is the first time she has been so adamant about it. “I appreciate it, but it’s not necessary. We’ll all hang out another night, okay?”
Hannah bites her lip and then nods, lifting one hand in surrender. “Sorry. I think I’m a little hungover. I drank too much last night and it has made me crazy. Apparently, I’m a clingy drunk.”
“It’s fine.” I grip her elbow as I pass. “I’m glad you like Theo. It’s nice that the two of you are close.”
Hannah’s mouth pulls into a tight smile and then I head upstairs to get ready for the shoot.
Hannah wasn’t wrong, though. Even after a morning of running around upstairs with Viktor, Theo is wild at the shoot. He is blurry in half of the photos and pouting in the other half. Still, it’s a good time.
“Come on, bud,” Viktor begs. “Give us a happy smile.”
Theo pouts and crosses his arms. “I want to play.”
I’m about to get stern with Theo, threatening to take toys away if he doesn’t smile, when Viktor suddenly tickles Theo under the armpits. Immediately, his face bursts into an open-mouthed grin, and he shrieks.
Distantly, I hear the camera shutter opening and closing, catching every moment, but I’m laughing too hard at Theo’s banshee shrieks to think about what we must look like.
Viktor arranged for our pictures to be taken in a photographer’s studio downtown. It is a large warehouse-like space with different sets lining the walls. There is one with red barnwood and a broken-down truck filled with hay and another that is half of a carousel with a carnival scene painted on the back. The photographer assures us several times that he will make every scene look entirely real in the final edits.
“You’ll have time to do it all in a few hours?” Viktor asked.