My mood only sours further when I run into Mia after my swim. After feeling particularly lonely, I thought going for a swim would help me miss Baz a lot less. It was a pathetic attempt, and I knew that.
I jerk to a halt when I see Mia walking out of Baz’s bedroom. My brows tug low, suspicion thick in my veins. I don’t trust her. Not only did Baz say he fired her, I can’t help but feel like she has ulterior motives. I don’t know if that’s because she’s obviously in love with Baz or if it is because of something more.
“What are you doing here?”
With her arms filled with bags and files, my frown only deepens. “Sebastian asked that I grab my clothes that I forgot here for a quick trip.”
My heart twinges, uncertainty making my stomach churn. “A trip?”
She takes in the confusion written all over my face. “Yes, we’re flying out this evening.”
We?
WE?
My jaw tightens, and I have to actively work to keep the anger and rage I’m suddenly feeling off my face. Betrayal courses through my system. He hasn’t so much as reached out to me after the other night, but he has time for her?
“He fired you,” I grit.
Her lips press together at the reminder. “No thanks to you, I’m sure. And this isn’t a work trip.”
My stomach churns at the picture she’s clearly painting for me. I know we’re not a couple, but I thought after the other night that something changed. I guess I was wrong. I don’t know why I’m surprised. I knew I couldn’t trust him. This only proves that.
“Oh, wow,” she breathes out, a spiteful twinkle in her eyes. “You didn’t know?” She feigns concern. I’m obviously giving much more away on my face than I intended to. I can see right through her façade, though. There’s a glimmer of glee in her eyes. She’s enjoying this. The idea of Baz keeping me in the dark.
Why do I suddenly feel like a concubine in this relationship?
I clear my throat, tucking my damp hair behind my ears. “No, I didn’t.”
The words are like acid on my tongue, admitting my defeat. Her upper lip quirks with amusement. Her eyes trail up and down my body that is wrapped in the towel. Her gaze settles on my hair, and I suddenly feel like that young girl again. Insignificant. Like I don’t quite compare to everyone else.
“You know,” she murmurs, stepping into me. “I lied. Blond isn’t your color after all. The black hair suited you much better.”
Her words hit their intended mark as she turns to leave. I struggle to catch my breath and ignore the crumbling sensation in my chest, the restricting of my lungs, and the absolute horrible sensation of drowning in my insecurities.
Once the door slams shut behind her, I all but collapse. I let myself wallow in hurt and pain. I don’t want to think about why she had clothes stashed here, but that’s all I can seem to focus on. She and Baz together, even when he said she was just his employee. What a crock of shit.
When Dan comes to bring me food, he doesn’t comment, but I see him linger, like he wants to say more but doesn’t.
To help take my mind off things, I give Kat and Vera a call, hoping they can ease some of the pain. I keep them up to speed on what’s happening, but I neglect to mention my feelings and how much they’ve evolved since I’ve been here. The one thing I set out to do, the one thing I said I wouldn’t allow to happen has happened.
I let my feelings for Baz cloud my judgment. I let myself fall back in love with him, which is another lie. I never fell out of love. I just suppressed it, pretending it wasn’t there when it clearly was.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I scroll through my phone, looking at the articles pertaining to Baz and the rest of the guys. There’s radio silence on the Baz front. The only articles that seem to keep popping up are pertaining to Trent. He was caught stumbling out of Kings drunk yesterday.
“You can always go there and use him to find out the truth.”
Slowly, I lift my gaze up and find Madison perched on the edge of the nightstand watching me. I shake my head, trying to get her to go away.
“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Mack.”
“Go away,” I grit, shooting daggers at her with my eyes.
“You need me,” she persists. “You can fool yourself into believing you don’t all you want, but we both know the truth.”
“I’ve needed you for nine fucking years, and where the hell were you, huh? Now you want to show concern?”
“I was always there, Mack. You just weren’t listening. You haven’t been listening.”
“I have! Where have you been?” Tears burn the backs of my eyes. “How dare you leave me. Look at where I am. Look at me, Madison. I’m a fucking mess!”
Her face softens. “I’ve been here, Mack. You need to stop shutting me out. Stop shutting out everyone who’s trying to help you. It’s going to get you nowhere.”
“Fine. Just tell me what to do. Please,” I choke.
“I’ve already told you what to do.” She sighs in exasperation. “Forget this. Forget them. All of them. It’s the only way you’ll truly be happy.”
“I can’t. Don’t you get it? I can’t do that. They’re going to kill me.”
“Baz would never let that happen.”
“You don’t know him like I do.”
Her head cocks to the side. “But don’t I?”
I grit my teeth. “Don’t do that. Don’t play with my fucking head. You guys never had anything. Don’t make it out to be more than it actually was.”
“Leave it alone, Mackenzie. If you keep going down this route, it will ruin your life. It will get you killed. Trust me. You need to talk to Baz before you do anything stupid.”
I rake a frustrated hand through my hair. “You’re trying to get inside my head! Stop it!” I shoot up from the bed, anything to get away from her. I pace the hall, feeling like a caged animal. Doesn’t she understand I can’t leave this behind? Vincent tried to kill me. Zach tried to kill me. Baz and Marcus are up to something and choosing to keep me out of it. Trent is a drunk piece of shit, and my heart hurts.
Why is it whenever I start to feel like the cards are falling into their rightful place, something happens to disrupt that?
Seeing Mia earlier was a shot to the heart, like having the rug pulled out from under me. I want to trust Baz and give him parts of me I’ve never shown anyone else, but when stuff like this happens, it makes me want to run far away and keep my heart locked away where he’ll never be able to find it. It’s almost as if he’s trying to purposely hurt me.
My chest rattles on an inhale as I pause my pacing.
“Leave things alone, Mackenzie. I’m warning you. Baz is gone, and so is your gun. Take your loss and leave it at that. Move on.”
“No. All I need to do is find the gun.”
I hurry into Baz’s bedroom, my lips twisting in disdain, as I look at the bed we were in not that long ago. The same bedroom Mia was just walking through, freely touching his stuff at his request. That anger I’ve been trying to bury since seeing Mia in here, since he’s been ignoring me, starts to boil to the surface. I start to worry about him and Mia and what they’re doing right now. I can’t imagine him hurting me, but I’m starting to realize I don’t know Baz as well as I thought I did. Hell, he has a tattoo dedicated to my sister. That should’ve been enough to open my eyes to his lies.