My life is a mess of mistake after mistake.
Summoning all my strength, I get dressed and cautiously pad out of my room into the hall. I hear the clink of glass and ice coming from the living area. With unsure steps, I head in that direction, pausing when I spot Baz sitting on the chaise, still dressed in his clothes from earlier, only now he’s lost his suit jacket and his shirtsleeves are rolled up to his forearms. His shirt buttons are undone, revealing his tan-toned chest. For all intents and purposes, he looks good. Too good right now. But his mood is what gives me pause.
He glances up from the paperwork laid out before him, noticing my hovering presence. He doesn’t say a thing, just stares at me. I feel the intensity of it sear through my flesh. It has me fidgeting, uncomfortable with the scrutiny.
“I can come back later if you’re busy.” I glance down at his work pointedly.
He jerks his chin at the open chaise next to his. “Sit down. We need to talk.”
A pit forms in my stomach, realizing this isn’t going to be a good conversation. Still, I take the seat next to him and keep my lips sealed, waiting for him to explain.
“Sign this.”
My brows draw together when I look from him to the paperwork and the pen he’s all but shoving in my face.
“What is it?”
“The publishing agreement. Sign it.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I need to have Kat’s lawyer look it over—”
“Mackenzie, do you really think I would have you sign something that wasn’t beneficial to you? Just fucking sign it so we can get this over with.”
I swallow thickly at his tone, but nod, knowing he’s right. I’m sure he looked it over and had his own attorney look it over, too. Taking the pen from him, I sign my name, my heart skipping a beat at what I’ve just done, but right now, I have bigger things on my mind. Like apologizing for earlier. I’m still angry about Mia, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t wrong.
Before I’m able to say anything, he’s sliding something else over to me. My brows furrow when I realize what it is.
“A house deed? What is this for?”
“It’s for you.”
I snatch it from him, flipping through it, my eyes growing wide when I realize what this means.
“Wait, this is the house we looked at when I first got here. The one you said was beneficial for investment purposes. I don’t understand.”
“It was for you. The guys took a lot from you. I took a lot from you. This was my way of giving back. Giving you something to fall back on.”
“Baz…” I whisper, tears filling my eyes, emotion clogging my throat. “I can’t believe you did this.”
He shrugs, avoiding my gaze. “And this is yours. You don’t need my help anymore. You never did. But you and I already know that.”
My stomach drops when I see what he’s referring to. It’s my freedom on paper. It’s what I wanted this whole time, and he is right. I didn’t need it. I knew he would never do anything to hurt me, and even though the hounding from the press bothered me, I could’ve ignored it. I just used that as an excuse to be near him.
“But…the media. What if I still need your help?” I’m grasping at straws, doing anything I can to latch onto him, and by the look in his eyes, he can see that, but for whatever reason, he’s cutting me loose. Setting me up with everything I’ll ever need, so I won’t need to run back to him for anything. He’s cutting ties. Ending this.
Pain sears through my chest, making it hard to breathe.
“You won’t. The publishing agreement will help. You have Kat’s help. You can stay here at this house or sell it and go back to New York. Whatever you want to do with it because it’s yours, but if you do sell it, you can’t adopt Ava.”
My breath leaves me in a ragged gasp.
Ava? Adoption? How did he do all of this? How long has he been putting all of this together?
Why didn’t he tell me?
“Baz…I can’t believe you did this. Why didn’t you tell me?” I place a tentative hand on his forearm, and we both stare at the point of contact. His phone resting on the table starts ringing, and when I see Mia’s name, my anger seeps into the moment, stealing my joy. I glance up at him, and he’s watching me, dissecting my reaction. I press my lips together and grind my back teeth together. Slowly, I remove my hand and shift my body away from his.
“You lied to me.”
“I didn’t.”
“She was here. In your space, picking up clothes she left here. Why?”
“Because while she worked here, she purposely forgot a bag of her stuff. She did it so she’d have a reason to come back and see me. That was why I had her get her shit while I was away.”
“You let her go into your room unsupervised.”
He glances up pointedly at the ceilings. “She wasn’t unsupervised. Dan was waiting at the elevators to escort her out of the building. If she so much as snooped through my stuff, she would’ve been gone. She wanted to get under your skin, and she did.”
“What else was I supposed to think? You didn’t call or text. You let me think the worst. You knew where my thoughts would head if I saw her in your space.”
“If you trusted me, this wouldn’t have been a problem.”
My brows shoot up. “Trust you? How can you expect me to do that after everything that has happened? All you do is keep secrets from me, Baz.”
“I didn’t keep secrets. I just chose not to share everything prematurely. I didn’t tell you because things weren’t concrete. I wasn’t sure how any of my plans would work out, and I didn’t want to get your hopes up by telling you. There are still a lot of hoops you’ll need to jump through regarding Ava, but if you really want it, it’s yours.”
“You really think I’d make a good mother? Look at everything I’ve done. I’m a mess.”
He rubs the back of his neck and nods. “You did all those things when you were a part of my life. When you were near me. If you do this, it’ll just be the two of you. This is your chance to give a little girl a brand-new life. Give yourself a new life.”
“So that’s what this is,” I whisper, growing angry. “You’re getting rid of me. Tossing me out like trash.”
His jaw stiffens. “I’m trying to give you happiness, Mackenzie, because you’ll never find it with me. I’ll help you in any way I can, but with the publishing agreement, the house, the money that’s been transferred to your bank account, you’re set for life. You can take care of Ava in peace, if that’s what you want.”
“They’re never going to let me keep her,” I urge, trying to do anything I can to change his mind. Trying to find any reason I can to stay. “I’ve been to a mental institution. I’m viewed as a liar. I’m not stable. I talk to my dead sister, for fuck’s sake.”
He sits back, watching me work through my emotions. “Then don’t do it. Sell the house. Move to New York, finish the publishing deal, and move on with your life.”
I process his suggestions, and even though that sounds great, the idea of willingly having the chance to change Ava’s life and not doing it because I’m afraid of rejection…I slam my eyes shut, knowing what I have to do. If it doesn’t work out, if they tell me no, I can sell the house and move on, just like he said, but it doesn’t hurt to try. So long as I leave all the pain in the past. All it’s ever brought my life is destruction.