“Yeah. For like six months, then she got tired of the attention I was getting from the other girls and dumped me for some up-and-coming rapper.”
“Ouch.” I laughed. “So it’s not like you’re opposed to having a girlfriend?”
“I have one right now.” He winked at me. “I’m definitely not opposed. I just don’t like the idea of wasting my time with girls I know I have no future with.”
“This ties in with the when you know, you know thing, doesn’t it?” Butterflies swarmed my belly. This entire conversation was emotions overload yet for some reason I wanted to have it.
“When you know, you know,” he stated, glancing over at me.
I felt myself blush.
By the time we reached the airport and were cleared to drive up to the parking lot beside the hangar, my nerves were shot. I was finally going to see my brother and he was finally awake and obviously aware enough to ask about me. I considered sending my older brothers a text message, but decided against it. They hadn’t communicated with me all these days while they were there, so I wasn’t going to communicate with them either. Still, the unknown was getting to me. Logan grabbed my hand as we walked and I squeezed it back, grateful for the reminder that I wasn’t alone in this.
We small-talked with Manuel and his co-pilot and boarded the plane for our short flight. My mind was mostly elsewhere, thinking about Lincoln and my parents. I tried so hard not to think about my father because every time I did, I got flashbacks of that photo album and it made me sick. When I did take time away from my thoughts during the hour and a half flight, it was to admire the way Logan looked sitting across from me. He was reading one of the Dennis Lehane novels he borrowed from me and had rarely paused to speak. He’d mentioned that he didn’t get as much downtime to read as he’d liked, so I tried not to interrupt him. Besides, a hot dude reading was my favorite kind of distraction.
We landed and had a car waiting for us, courtesy of my father. We went straight to one of my parent’s properties, where they’d moved Lincoln with two around-the-clock nurses and a doctor that came by every morning. My mother spared no expenses when it came to her baby boy, her favorite boy, whether she admitted that or not.
“And here I thought the most impressive thing I’d see today was the private jet,” Logan said beside me as we drove up the path to my parent’s Hampton’s estate. “Is this where you grew up?”
“I grew up in Mexico City. Still in a mansion, yes, but entirely different life no matter how you put it.” I chewed on the tip of my thumb. “We moved here when I started high school though and my parents bought this house when I was a junior, so yeah, I sort of grew up here.”
“Out of my league,” he whispered.
“You’re not fooling anyone, Fitzgerald. Your parents have money too.”
“There’s money, and then there’s money,” he emphasized, looking at the house.
“Money that you’ll be making very soon,” I reminded him. “Then you can buy your own mansion like this.”
“I would never.” He scoffed. “Give me a little cottage by a lake and my girl and I’ll be happy as can be.”
The image made me smile. I could completely picture Logan living that kind of unassuming life even after he starts making crazy money playing pro and with the athletic clothing contracts he’s bound to get. I could picture myself living like that with him. We finally arrived at the front of the house, we didn’t even wait for the driver to open the door. Logan grabbed our bags and we bolted out of the car, rushing to the front door. I hadn’t even bothered to bring my key. I was about to knock when the door opened. Mirna stood there, smiling when she saw me. I gave her a quick hug and introduced her to Logan. Mirna had been with my family since I was a kid and was more like an aunt than a housemaid.
“Leave the bags here.” I turned to Logan as we were passing the grand staircase.
He looked like he didn’t even know where to look. I always forgot how fancy the house was until a new person walked in and made me stop and see it for what it was—there were paintings and sculptures and marble and gold. My mother’s love of Versailles shone through this house. Logan dropped the bags carefully, as if scared he’d scratch something. I grabbed his hand and walked quickly toward the back of the house and through the doors, and then through the corridor that led to the guest house.
“Remember that cottage I said I dreamed of?” Logan said as we approached the guest house.
I laughed. It was the perfect cottage, or guest house, with three bedrooms, three baths, and a full kitchen. Basically, it was someone’s dream family home and my parents had it sitting in their yard. This was why I had a hard time with their charity sometimes. They donated a lot of money and time but it was hard to be a champion for the poor and come home to this. At least that’s what I always thought. Mom didn’t see it that way. Dad always reminded me that Princess Diana had been the people’s princess and visited poor people yet lived in luxury.
I paused in front of the door and took a deep breath, then another, trying to calm down before I walked in there. Logan let go of my hand and set it on my shoulder, squeezing. I turned the knob and pushed the door open. Mom was sitting at the dining room table, her computer opened up and her headset on. She’d been working predominantly from home and everywhere else in the world for a year now, using a program to have video meetings with her patients when she was out of town, and sometimes even making house calls when she was in.
“She’s on a call with a patient,” I whispered, turning to Logan.
We waved at her. She pointed toward the room Lincoln was in. She looked like she’d aged ten years these last few weeks. My heart pounded harder as we walked up to the room. The door was slightly ajar, and as I pushed it open, it revealed Lincoln on a bed, looking pale, but not nearly as frail as I envisioned. He actually looked like he’d put on some weight, his cheeks filling out. His mouth moved into a smile when he saw me, but fell quickly when he saw Logan behind me.
“Not him.” He shook his head.
My heart stopped beating. “He just wants to make sure you’re okay, Linc.”
“Not him.”
Logan sighed heavily, touching my arm. “I’ll wait for you outside.”
I wanted to stop him. To tell him not to be ridiculous, that he was welcome wherever I was, but my brother wasn’t in a clear state of mind and I needed to respect his wishes. As I neared the bed, the nurse also took it upon herself to leave us alone. Tears pricked my eyes as I reached for him. I placed my hand on his smooth face. My handsome brother, my best friend that I almost lost for good. It wasn’t until this moment that I realized how much I truly missed him. How truly empty and sad living in a world without him would be. Sure, I’d made myself stay busy, but his absence was always there, waiting to greet me at the end of a long day.
“You shaved,” I whispered. His own eyes filled with tears as he brought his hand up and closed it around mine, and that was what put me over the edge. I started to cry, really cry, all the tears I’d been holding back all of these days finally exposed. I pressed my forehead to his shoulder and cried as he held my head and cried along with me.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”