How could he look me in the eye knowing what he caused me? Caused my family. He was aware that his brother killed Richard and he said nothing.
My skin burns at the memory, and the need to shower overcomes me.
I turn it to the hottest setting and slip beneath it, fully dressed. I don’t want to be naked right now. I don’t want to be me.
Stripping the wet clothes off and replacing them with dry ones, I pull my hair back into a bun, knowing it will be tangled and matted later and need to be rewashed.
My cell rings again, and my gut drops and my heart rate quickens. I don’t what I’d do now if James showed up. I want to pound my fists into him until he’s a broken mess, like me.
My dad’s number flashes on the screen so I answer and put the cell to my ear.
“Daddy?”
“Hey, sweetheart. We’ve had some troubling news and we need you to come to the hotel.”
Inside I’m quivering, nerves eating away at any resemblance of the old me. Did Ross call them? What are they thinking? Will they blame me for not knowing my then boyfriend was a complete traitorous piece of garbage?
“Okay,” I tell him and end the call.
Checking myself in the mirror to make sure I don’t look as ill as I feel inside, I call out to Fin as I exit my room. I’m surprised he didn’t find me in the bathroom; I must have been in there a while, my fingers still feel wrinkled from the water.
My apartment is empty, and I find a note saying he will be back. I can’t wait.
When I arrive, Mum blurts out, “We’re going back home, sweetheart.”
She’s mustn’t know about James yet because she would be hysterical or mute if she did. It’s scarier when she goes completely silent.
Anger flares in my chest. We haven’t even discussed Gaby and what their news means for us all.
“Are you seriously running back home after the bomb you just dropped on me?”
Dad is sitting with his head in his hands and Mum is busying herself packing up their belongings.
“We’re not running away, sweetheart. The police have called. Our house has been broken into.”
“What?”
Images of the time the shop was robbed flicker through my mind causing a stirring of unease in my stomach.
“We don’t know the details, but we need to get back home and sort this out. I know the timing is wrong and we will return so we can all decide on the best way to move forwards from this.”
“This is going to look bad to Gaby. Have you told her anything?”
Mum’s shoulders straighten and her lips thin. “Gaby made her feelings clear this morning.”
How did I not see this side of my mother while growing up?
“Mum, she just found out her dad’s best friend is her father and that he didn’t see the need to pursue finding out if he had two daughters, not just one.”
“This isn’t easy for any of us, Antonia, and there’s nothing we can do that will make her change her mind. She needs time. We all do.”
“Dad?”
I turn to him, disappointed as hell and hoping he stands up and does what’s right. I’ve not really considered the fact that I share a father. He isn’t just mine anymore. I’m not an only child. Part of me will mourn that, but the other part of me, the part that loves her best friend and has seen the damage up close to what all this did to Gaby’s self-esteem is willing to share and grateful to have a sibling.
“It’s okay. I’m going to go speak with Gaby before we leave.”
“David?”
“She deserves that much, Janet. I can go now and meet you at the airport.”
“Fine.”
Hunger and lack of sleep leave me feeling weak, and I’m so done with walking. I jump in a cab back home and collapse on the couch when I make it back to my apartment.
Finlay still isn’t back, or he has been and gone again when he found it empty. I should call him or check his apartment but sleep has finally caught up with me and is dragging me under.
PAIN IN MY NECK nags at me until I open my eyes and find myself still on the couch.
Reaching for my cell, my eyes expand. It’s nine-thirty in the morning, which means I slept the entire night.
Getting to a sitting position, I survey the quiet apartment. Finlay didn’t come back.
Just as I think it, the door goes, but it’s not Fin, it’s Gaby.
“Hey.” She smiles and holds her hand up in a wave gesture. She’s guarded.
“Hey.” I smile and pat the seat for her to join me on the couch.
“You look crappy,” she says, and I nod in agreement.
I feel crappy.
“So… your dad came to see me.”
“You mean our dad?” I smile.
“It’s so weird, right?” She stands and walks in small circles.
“Gabs, sit. You’re making me dizzy.”
“It’s weird, but I’m happy to have a sister, and for it to be you is like winning the sister lottery. I mean, who doesn’t want their best friend as a sister?”
“So, we’re good?”
“Are you kidding? We’re great.”
She looks around the room and frowns. “Where’s my brother?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I reach to check my cell. “I don’t know. I think I’m going to go up to see if he’s home.”
“Okay, well Mum’s in full on wedding mode since we had dinner last night so be prepared for her to be popping in and out and no doubt wanting you to attend planning meetings.”
“Are you sure about the wedding? Why not have a long engagement? You’re so young, Gabs.”
“I love him and I don’t want to lose him.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to marry him right away.”
“What’s the point in waiting if we know that’s where we’re heading?”
“To make sure that’s where you’re heading.”
I don’t want to push her or make her mad. Not mentioning Gavin is taking restraint, but I’m hoping she will get there on her own without any prompting.
She sits again and takes my hand in hers. “I know I made some mistakes and bad judgments, but that’s all they were, and it took me making those mistakes to see how much I love Mike and that I want to be his wife.”
Damn it. I’m going to say it.
“And Gavin?”
“The mistake.” She shrugs. “He will be infatuated for a while. It’s just the effect I have on men.” She grins, stands, and saunters out of my apartment. “Bye, sis.”
It’s crazy how you can go from one emotion to the next. Speaking to Gaby actually made me feel lighter. Her marrying Mike is rushed, but who am I to say what’s too fast and how much love can impact your life and decisions?
After grabbing a quick shower, I make my way up to Fin’s. I rap my knuckles on the door before testing the handle. It doesn’t give under my hand.
My mind searches for possibilities of where he could be, and then the door opens, and a half-naked Fin squints at me through half-closed eyes. His hair is messy, adding to his sex appeal; the jeans he’s wearing hang low on his hips, showing his impressive physique.