Lay bacon in a single layer, side by side, on the rack.
Cook for 18 minutes.
Yes, 18.
Remove from the oven and lay on a paper towel lined plate.
THAT is perfect bacon.
If you like it less done, cook it for 16.
Want it “snap-it-in-two” crispy? Cook it for 20.
Depending on your oven, the cooking time might vary by a minute or two, but not much.
If I need bacon for sandwiches (you’ll see that recipe later) or for pasta (that recipe is later, too), I take it a pound at a time and cut it into 1” pieces with the kitchen scissors (I’ll cut 5-6 slices at once).
In a skillet, I’ll cook it over medium heat for 25-30 minutes or so, stirring the chunks to separate them. This makes a lot of grease, but that grease helps cook it on both sides without flipping it as often. Stir it every 3 minutes or so, and you’ll have uniform chunks of bacon that aren’t all curled up.
For breakfast, no one wants bacon chunks. They want full slices.
Bacon is similar to steak. The better the cut, the better the bacon. Thick cut high-quality bacon trumps anything that’s thin and wispy.
Just remember, bacon makes everything better.
Enjoy.
BAKED BONE-IN CHICKEN BREASTS
DIFFICULTY: Meat in, meat out. See a pattern?
TIME: 55 minutes.
What you’ll need from the cupboard: A cookie sheet and a spatula.
What you’ll need from the pantry: Chicken breasts, salt, pepper, garlic powder, rosemary (not necessary, but if you have it, use it), basil, and olive oil.
Chicken breasts are simple to cook. They can be used as a meal, a means of making sandwiches, salads, pasta, tacos, casseroles, etc.
When it comes to split breasts, I prefer them as the main course of a meal. This recipe will produce a crispy skin and a moist, thoroughly cooked inside.
Preheat the oven to 375.
Remove the chicken from the fridge and pat dry. Coat with olive oil on all sides (yes, even the bottom). Cover with salt, pepper, and a light dusting of garlic powder (again, yes, even the bottom). Sprinkle with rosemary and basil on the skin side only.
Situate the breasts skin side up on the cookie sheet with space between them.
Cook them for one hour.
If you have a thermometer (you damned sure should), insert it into the thickest portion of meat, making sure it’s away from the bone. Remove from oven when the meat is at 165 degrees F.
Once cooked, let it sit for 6-8 minutes, and then serve.
If you’re using the meat for tacos or some other dish that requires shredding the meat (or removing it from the bone), let it sit for 5 minutes more. The inner meat is too damned hot to handle unless it’s had nearly 15 minutes to rest.
Yes, they’re that simple to cook.
Chicken breasts are the old pickup truck of meats. They’re solid and reliable, but they don’t evoke much conversation.
Nevertheless.
Enjoy.
PRIME RIB ROAST
DIFFICULTY: You’ll be fingering meat. Despite your gender, you should feel right at home.
TIME: All fucking day.
What you’ll need from the cupboard: A roasting pan (no rack), a whisk, a spatula, and a sharp carving knife.
What you’ll need from the pantry: A rib roast, salt, pepper, a head of garlic, and two sticks of butter.
Each rib in a prime rib roast is supposed to feed two people. When you buy a roast, keep this in mind.
A 4-rib roast will feed 8 people. A full rack (7 ribs) will feed at least 14.
You get what you pay for when it comes to buying meat, and prime rib is a fine example of this. A well marbled cut of meat is best, but it will cost you a little more, because it will likely be a prime cut of meat.
The “prime” in prime rib doesn’t mean it’s a prime cut.
Yeah, a little play on words, huh?
Regardless of what you choose, it’ll be easy to cook and taste like heaven.
If you haven’t purchased a meat thermometer by now, go buy one. A cheap 9-dollar dial is fine if you’ve got nothing else. One you can insert works best here (not the touch and read type).
Remove your roast and your butter from the fridge. Set the butter aside. Unpackage the roast and cover the entire thing with salt. It’s best to use kosher or sea salt, not table salt. Then, drape it with Saran Wrap. Don’t wrap it tight, just drape the wrap over it.
Let it sit for 2-3 hours.
You can’t skip this step.
Twenty minutes before your time is up, preheat the oven to 500 degrees F.
Yes, 500.
A few minutes before your time is up, set the softened butter in a bowl. Salt and pepper the butter. Take 4 garlic cloves, smash them with the flat edge of a knife, and then chop them fine.
Take 3 more cloves, smash them, and chop them not-so-fine.
Add the finely chopped garlic to the butter mix. Blend with a fork.
When your time is up, uncover the roast.
Pat the meat dry with a few folded paper towels (it will sweat from the salt).
Use a metal skewer (or a steak knife if you don’t have a skewer) to poke two randomly placed holes per rib section into the roast, about 1-1/2” deep.
Using the blade of the knife, the skewer, or your fingertip, poke a sliver of one of the larger pieces of garlic you’ve chopped into each hole.
Pepper the entire roast. Salt it lightly.
Take your butter mixture and pat it onto the top of the roast, and all over each end. You can spread it like you’re putting icing on a cake.
Place the roast in the roasting pan, ribs down. They’ll act as a rack, of sorts (rack of ribs, get it?)
Cook the roast in the 500-degree oven for 15 minutes.
Open the oven, pull out the rack that the roast is on, and insert your thermometer between 2 ribs (on the top of the roast, where you can see it).
Turn the temperature down to 325, slide the rack back into the oven, and cook the roast for an additional 15-18 minutes per pound (for medium rare).
The roast, if cooked to medium rare, will have something for everyone. Medium well (ends), medium (the next 3” from each end), and medium rare (the center 6”).
Take the roast out when the thermometer reads 125 degrees F.
Transfer the roast from the pan to a platter.
Set the pan aside.
Cover the roast with foil.
Let the roast sit for 15 minutes, during which time you’ll make the au jus (if you want some, the recipe is below). For now, let’s assume you’ve either made it, or you don’t want it.
Using the ribs as a guide, cut the roast away from the ribs.
Place the meat on a cutting board (former rib side down) and carve from 1/2” to 1” thick, depending on preference. Serve with au jus and/or horseradish sauce (both are below).
AU JUS
1 cup of beef broth. 1/2 a cup of red wine. 2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce.
Remove all but 1/4 cup of the grease/oil from the roasting pan. You can use a spoon to dip it out or suck it out with a turkey baster. Depending on the roast, you may not have much more than 1/4 cup in the pan.
If that’s the case, leave it alone.
Place the roasting pan on a medium low burner as if it were a Dutch oven. Turn a spatula upside down and scrape the burned bits and drippings loose from the bottom of the pan (but leave them in there).