Love. My heart hurts so fucking much.
I close my eyes, praying that what she’s saying is true. I don’t want to hope if it’s really over.
As if reading my mind, Madam Lynn says, “It’s not over, Katia. Just give him this push.”
I nod my head, feeling as though I at least have a plan. “I’ll go.”
It’s not over just yet. I won’t give up hope.
Chapter 31
Isaac
The faint hum of the car seems louder than usual as I drive through the dark night on my way to Katia.
It’s only been hours, but I know I’ve made a horrible mistake. I’ve thrown away the most beautiful and pure creature to ever light up my life.
I can’t believe I let her go. No, I threw her away.
Fuck!
I grip the steering wheel tighter. It hurts so fucking much. I keep seeing the look in her eyes.
She told me she loved me. I know she does. She did.
But now…
If she doesn’t forgive me, I’ll never recover from this. I had my perfect kitten. So gorgeous and full of life and hope and happiness. And healed. So strong in every way.
I take in a breath so violently it hurts my lungs. My chest feels like it’s collapsing in.
My kitten. My Katia.
I lean my head forward, resting on my fists as I sit at a red light and fight with the emotions tormenting me.
I’m not worthy of her, that’s the problem. I’ve murdered. I’ve watched men die. Worse, there’s a darkness in me that will dim her beautiful light. That’s my biggest fear. I need to remember that.
But for her, I’ll try. I promise to fucking God, I will try to be better for her.
I just need a chance. I need her to forgive me.
I need her back. I’m a selfish man for it, but I need her back in my life.
It’s a reckless thing for me to do. To go take her back. But if she lets me, I’ll never let her go.
My phone rings in the car, and for a moment I think it’s her. My kitten.
I swerve on the road, nearly losing control, but only for a moment. Fuck! I’m losing it.
Because I lost her.
I nearly throw the fucking phone out of the window when I see it’s Madam Lynn. I don’t know what the fuck she wants, but I don’t have the time. I almost toss it onto the floor, but I can’t. It’s late. It’s really fucking late, and if she’s calling at this hour, there’s a damn good reason for it.
“Fuck,” I curse beneath my breath and try to answer the phone without anger as I drive closer to Katia. I’ll have her back soon and then everything will be alright.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hello, Isaac,” her voice is even and calm, no hint of urgency.
“Now’s not a good time,” I grit out between my teeth. I instantly regret answering.
“Oh? I thought you should know as soon as possible that Katia has agreed to go up for auction tomorrow. But I suppose if you don’t have the time...”
My blood chills, and my heart nearly stops beating. “Bullshit.”
“No, that’s what stomping on a woman’s heart will do to you, Isaac.”
I slow the car and drive off the road, stopping in the shoulder. My throat dries, and I can’t fucking stand the pain. It’s only been hours. It was one mistake.
One fucking mistake.
And she’s done.
I threw her out. I deserve this. I shake my head, denying it. I didn’t want to. I didn’t mean to.
I was scared. Scared to let her close. Scared that I would destroy the strong woman she is.
“I’m sorry,” I say into the phone, but it’s not for Madam Lynn, it’s for my Katia. “I fucked up.”
“I know you did.”
“She can’t go up there. I can’t let her.”
“You don’t have a choice,” Madam Lynn huffs into the phone.
“You don’t understand-” I start. I’m not going to let anyone else have her. There’s no fucking way anyone in there deserves her more than me.
“Oh, don’t I, though?” Madam Lynn’s voice is hard. “She fell in love; you fell in love. You need to go get her, Isaac. You need to apologize and make this right.”
Before she’s even finished, I’m slamming my foot on the gas and making my way to her.
“She’s not going up there tomorrow,” I tell her.
“I hope I don’t see her, but if I do, I will feel very sorry for you.”
“She won’t be there,” I say flatly and hang up without waiting for a response.
She belongs with me.
Knock, knock, knock. I slam my fist against the door. The outside air is bitter cold and harsh on my skin. Making my knuckles pain with every hard blow to the door. I relish the pain. I’d rather feel it than the hole in my chest.
As my hand slams down against the door, it opens. The swift swoosh brings the cold air past Katia’s bare shoulders and she covers herself with the shawl wrapped around her.
Her long blonde hair blows slightly and the chill causes her shoulders to shudder. Her cheeks are flushed and red, and obviously tearstained. My poor Katia. I did this to her.
But I’ll make it right. I’ll fix this.
“Isaac.” She says my name softly.
“Katia.” I want to pull her into my arms, but I can’t. Not knowing what she did. Agreeing to go up for auction. “You’re going up for auction?” I ask her, although it’s more of a statement.
Her eyes flash with a heated anger. “It’s none of your business, if that’s why you’re here.” Her grip tightens on the door and I know she’s going to slam it shut in a moment.
“I won’t allow it, Katia.” I say the words hard and take a step in. Katia slowly closes the door and it looks like it takes restraint not to shove it closed with an angry push, but the look on her face is anything but submissive.
She’s pissed.
She shakes her head and says, “You told me you didn’t want me.” She’s trying to be strong, but the pain in her voice is evident. It shreds me.
“I was wrong to say that,” I say calmly, holding my hands up and approaching her like a wounded animal. My poor kitten. I did this. This is all my fault.
“I will have a Master,” she says slowly, her voice gravely low.
“Then you will have me,” I say with conviction, balling my fists at my side. There is no fucking way I’ll let another have her that way.
“Will I?” she asks, crossing her arms. I tilt my head slightly, my heart beating frantically and anxiety coursing through my limbs.
Please don’t deny me, kitten.
I don’t show fear. I take a step closer to her, and she holds her ground. “You will,” I answer her.
“You will never lie to me again, Isaac.” Katia stares at me with red-rimmed eyes. Her bottom lip is trembling, but strength is the dominant feature in her expression.
I’m struck by the strength, but also the hurt in her voice.
“Lie to you?” My eyebrows raise in surprise.
“You said you didn’t want me.”
Fuck, my heart drops in my chest.