I know Lilly is still learning, but she can handle everything I want to give her. She’s perfect.
I clench my fists, hating that I’m living by these sets of rules.
Since when did my life revolve around the commands of others?
I’ve lived my life making demands and seeing that they’re met. I’ve murdered, committed crime after crime and lived a life without consequence. I have more power than any man in this room. More wealth.
I do whatever the fuck I want, when I want it.
But in the last few years, I’ve simply been biding my time in this empty world I’m living in. I don’t feel at all like the man I used to be.
It’s time for a distraction. And Lilly is the perfect candidate.
“Don’t give me that look,” I hear Kiersten’s soft voice, laced with sympathy. “I know you’re hurting Joseph,” she says just beneath her breath.
I scoff at her. “This has nothing to do with that.”
“If you want Lilly, you can approach her and ask to be her Master, although I’m not sure she’s ready. If she goes up for auction, you may claim her that way as well. But there will be no deals outside of that.” Her voice is strong although her face is an expression of compassion. I hate it. I hate that she knows me better than I know myself.
A couple’s footsteps echo in the hall as she speaks. I concentrate on the patter of the submissive’s bare feet and clacking of her partner’s shoes. I’m sick of being here. Surrounded by other people I don’t give a fuck about. I want Lilly where she belongs. In my home, in my bed, in her cage when she forgets to call me “Sir”.
“Joseph?”
My eyes snap to Kiersten’s, her soft voice bringing me back to the moment.
“Are you sure you should be taking a slave? Outside of the club, that is?”
My heart sputters in my chest and my blood runs cold. I know why she’s asking. But I’m tired of waiting and living in this limbo. I’m done living by their rules. I’ve never known anything other than the environment I’ve grown up in, but that doesn’t mean I can’t care for Lilly. I know I can.
“I’m certain.” My words don’t convince her, and I know Kiersten’s unhappy, but I don’t care.
I want Lilly.
And I’m going to take her.
I’m going to own her.
Chapter 9
Lilly
I blow my bangs out of my eyes with a sad sigh as I go through my emails and work documents. I’m trying to make sure that my lesson plans are ready for my new students. My heart breaks when I think about them. They’re just middle schoolers, but they’ve already been through so much. I’ve read over each and every one of their files and I can’t believe what they’ve lived through at such a young age. Some of the kids already have a record, some of them coming from families so abusive that it makes me wish that I could take these kids away from their shitty parents.
My pen taps on the desk as I go through each study plan, making sure that they all draw from everything I’ve learned in these classes. I try to make them as perfect as possible for the kids, hoping that they’ll take something from it that helps them. If it can even change one student’s life, it will make me happy. I want each and every child to have a chance at a good life, no matter how hard their upbringing, no matter how terrible their circumstances. Just like I did.
A knock at the door pulls me out of my thoughts. I twist in my seat, looking at the door and wondering who it could be. I’m new in this city and I don’t really have any friends other than classmates, but all of them are busy right now, most of them home for the winter break. I know it can’t be one of them at my door. No one here even knows where I live. It’s probably a package or a neighbor I think as I scoot the chair from the desk.
It makes me wish I was home with my family. But I only have my father, and now that he’s remarried, we’ve lost touch. I know he still loves me, and I still love him, but I don’t want to intrude on his new relationship and family. My birthday’s coming up soon and I know he’ll be thinking about me. I smile at the thought. He always manages to send me something nice and sweet. Something from the heart.
I at least need to call him, to let him know I’m doing fine.
I make a mental note to give him a ring as I open the front door. There’s a white box with an elegant bow on top sitting on the ground outside.
Sir? My heart does a backflip and the small smile grows on my face. It can only be him.
Arching a brow and sinking my teeth into my bottom lip to keep the smile from growing, I pick it up and bring it inside to the kitchen table.
I can’t wait to open it. He’s been all I can think about, although my thoughts have been a confusing mix with bundles of nerves and insecurities. I suck in a breath when I open it and see what’s inside.
Several white roses setting and a smartphone with a platinum cover on it. My heart pounds in my chest as I pick it up out of the box, examining the high quality finish. A phone? He could have just asked for my number! I shake my head at the thought, but my heart won’t stop beating erratically and my head won’t stop shaking.
I place my fingers against my throat as I stare at the sparkling phone. I’m not sure why he would get me a phone. It’s gorgeous, and more than what I could ever hope for or afford, but I already have one. It seems like such an awful waste of money, even for someone that is rich.
I’m shocked that Sir got me this and sent me flowers, especially after the way we left things yesterday, with me turning him down. I wasn’t sure he’d want to see me again. I thought I’d ruined it all.
Maybe there’s something really there. God, my heart. I stare down at the roses, gently petting the petals and inhaling their floral scent.
I’m about to close the box, when I notice a note at the bottom with a phone number and several words scribbled on it in a smooth font, a masculine one. It’s definitely his writing
If you need me, you can reach me here.
Sir.
My breath quickens as I stare at the words, my pulse racing inside of my chest and my knees going a little weak. I know that I should just box this and put it away, that this may have gone a little bit too far. But I want more.... of whatever this is. I hate it. It feels like I’m getting ahead of myself, like I’m running straight into trouble. I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few weeks. I’m always the one to send them away, not wanting them to get too close to me.
But this isn’t like that, is it? I want him to get close. I’m practically haunted by the thought of him taking me against the cross. He could have. I was bound and there for him. The very thought sends shivers down my back.
Whatever this is between me and Sir, doesn’t have to be anything more than what I want it to be. It can just be the fantasy that I’ve always wanted to explore. It doesn’t have to go any further than that. It doesn’t have to be real. … although I’m starting to think I want more than a fantasy.
The air fills with the ringtone on my real cell, going off across the room and pulling me out of my thoughts.
I set the note down and walk back to my desk trying to calm the mix of emotions as I answer the phone absentmindedly.