So if he doesn’t want me to drink my favorite tea, I can’t drink it.
Anxiety twists my stomach as I begin to doubt my decision to sign the contract. I’m not sure if I can make it through 30 days of being told what to do. I like to think that I can, but it might be harder than I imagine.
Even though it’s a contract, you can always walk away, that voice in the back of my head whispers.
I shiver at the thought of breaking the terms of our agreement. But if I find that I can’t handle the situation, I’ll have to.
Pushing away the troublesome thoughts, I finish packing and go through the house, making sure I have everything that makes me happy or feel good. My laptop is the last item on my list. I’m about to pack it away when I decide that I want to check my email one more time before I leave. I’ve been hoping to hear some good news back from the counseling administration and from a lady that I sent the first two chapters of my novel to.
As soon as I open my inbox, two email notifications pop up. My heart jumps in my chest at the first email.
From: Jenna Ramey
To: Lilly Wade
Lilly,
I just got done reading the chapters you sent me. And I have to say……I absolutely love them! I love how sensual you made the heroine seem and how dark and dangerous you made the hero. I think you’re definitely are on the right path with the story and you should really explore the hero’s dark side. Trust me when I say that you have great potential as a writer. And I look forward to reading your next chapters. If they’re good as the first two, you might have a bestseller on your hands!
Love,
Jenna
A feeling of warmth flows through my chest as I read Jenna’s words. It feels good to get feedback on my work. I’ve always thought of myself as a crappy writer, and have had horrible confidence in my ability. To actually hear someone say that I have potential fills me with joy and almost brings me to tears. Even if she is just a friend who edits for a publishing company. Still, it means so much to me.
I read Jenna’s words over and over, each time feeling a little bit better, until my eyes fall to the next email and my joy dampens slightly.
From: Zachary White
To: Lilly Wade
Lilly.
I’m sorry.
Zach
I stare at his words, trying not to feel anger after getting such a lifting message about my writing. He’s sorry? That’s all he can say after everything I’ve tried to do for him? I take a moment, sucking in a deep calming breath, trying to look at the entire situation, rather than being consumed by my immediate feelings.
Zach is going somewhere where he’ll be able to turn his life around. What he did before is in the past now. Getting mad over it won’t help either of us. My eyes flicker across the one line on the screen again. I should just be relieved that he’s being given the opportunity at a second chance.
Rising from my seat, I shake off the uneasy feelings and close the laptop, putting it into my travel bag.
I leave the bad on the desk chair, as I go through the house and make sure that I haven’t missed anything.
A whole month away. Of giving myself to someone else. All of me.
Is it really worth doing this?
I heard about the auction. It would’ve paid me more than the amount Joseph offered. I’m fully aware of that. Maybe even three times the amount. Possibly more. I overheard a few of the girls talking about how much the virgins go for. But when I think about how anyone other than Joseph could have put in a higher bid, essentially taking me for their slave, I don’t regret it.
It has to be him. I want it to be Joseph who I give myself to.
Shame burns my cheeks as I think about what I’ve done. I’ve sold myself to another human being. For money. I would have been with him in time, without this though. My heart clenches and the nasty voice in the back of my head whispers, does that make it any better though …
I pick up the strap of the bag after zippering it, and hoist the heavy thing over my shoulder. The strap immediately digs in. I may have packed too much.
I’ll never tell a soul what I’ve done. I’m ashamed, but this is about more than just me. This money is going to be used for a good cause.
I’m sorry.
I think of Zach’s words in his email. I’m sorry too.
I’ll never tell anyone, but as I turn out the lights to my living room, I know I want Joseph. And nothing’s going to stop me now.
Chapter 14
Joseph
I know that I fucked up the moment that Lilly walks through my front door. Her shoulders are hunched as I carry her duffel bags into the foyer, leaving them in the corner of the room.
Her vulnerability is intoxicating. I know it’s taking a lot for her to do this, so I’ll make today easy. The first few days I’ll be gentle with her and ease her into this lifestyle. I only have her for a month though and I intend to take full advantage.
Although it’s freezing outside, she wore a beautiful dress that ends above her knees. The hem brushes against her thighs as she walks in, taking off her tweed winter coat and hanging it over the crook of her arm. She shivers slightly as she walks in, holding onto the coat as if it’s her anchor.
The chill from outside has made her cheeks a bright red as well as the tip of her nose. The house is warm and inviting though, echoing her heels as she walks closer to the hall.
I close the door, my back to her as I imagine all the things I’m going to do to her. She’s mine now.
I could bend her over the foyer table right now, I could take her with a bruising force from behind and fuck her like I’ve been dreaming of doing. I can practically hear her hips banging against the wooden edge of the table. I can see how the trinkets I’ve gathered from all the places I’ve traveled would rattle as they pounded into her tight cunt, taking her virginity in a swift thrust.
I own her; I can do whatever the fuck I want with her.
I know it would turn her on. I know in the moment she would enjoy it. I would make sure of that. Strumming her clit while I position my hips against her ass, shoving my dick deep inside of her over and over again until she screamed out her orgasm.
I clear my throat and the thoughts from my head as I lock the door. The gentle click fills the room and makes her turn on her heels to face me. I ignore all the ways I could claim her as I walk to her, embracing her and planting a small kiss on her cheek.
“It’s all right my flower.” I lower my lips to hers pressing them against hers gently.
She pulls away for a moment, pushing her small hand against my chest and breaking away. I don’t like it. I don’t like her pushing me away at all. That’s not what she’s here for. My heart races in my chest and my body stiffens slightly. I’ll allow it for the moment. Only until she’s comfortable. Only until she fully realizes what this is between us.
“It’s different here,” she says, her voice small.
I stare at her for a moment registering what she’s said. Different? Looking to my left, I take in the open layout of my home. It’s modern and dark. From where we’re standing in the foyer, she’s easily able to see the kitchen and den.
She focuses on the white marble fireplace on the back wall to the right. It’s lined with large rectangles of black slate. Although the stone holds a cold feel to it, the warm coloring of the worn leather loveseat and chair combined with the lush carpet balance out the room.