“And why do we care?” Hikari asks.
“Hikari,” Jasik scolds, his tone sharp.
“No, let her say what we’re all thinking,” Jeremiah says.
“But I feel responsible.” My voice is whiny as I admit defeat.
“Why?” Hikari asks. “You did everything you could to stop the rogues. You owe them nothing.”
“She’s right, Ava,” Amicia says. Finally, our fearless leader speaks. Her silence was unnerving, and her impassive gaze made it difficult to tell if she was going to side with me or her vampires. I should have known she’d pick them.
“No, I mean, she never wanted to be a fighter. She never wanted to hunt vampires. She only did that to help me. She went on patrols with me so I wouldn’t be alone, so I’d always have someone to count on.”
Amicia is only a few feet away from me. With arms crossed, her index finger taps to the tick of a nearby grandfather clock. The tap, tap, tap of her disapproving finger echoes in my mind. I try to assess her thoughts by reading her eyes, but she’s just as detached as the others. One thing older vampires are exceptionally good at is perfecting that expressionless gaze.
Finally, she speaks. “And because of this, you feel responsible for her abduction? You have no control over the rogues. They do as they please.”
“This isn’t about the rogues. Don’t you see that? The only reason Liv was there last night is because of me. I brought her into this. I took her hunting the night this all started. They wouldn’t even know about her or her connection to me if it wasn’t for what I did.”
My tone is testy, my emotions irritable—a volatile combination for an already cranky vampire.
“That’s a bit of a stretch, Ava,” Jeremiah says.
“You can’t blame yourself for this,” Malik adds.
They speak almost in unison.
I groan internally. How can I better explain this to them? If I don’t sway them to my side, they won’t agree to find Liv, and I know the witches can’t do this alone. They might be able to find her, but they’ll never fight off an entire nest.
“They don’t deserve our help,” Hikari says. Her tone is absolute.
I know there’s no convincing her, but I try anyway. “Liv doesn’t deserve to die just because her coven is ungrateful.”
“I don’t trust them, Ava,” Amicia says. Her tone is sharp, calm.
“I don’t either,” I admit. “But Liv needs our help.”
“How can you be sure this isn’t a setup?” Amicia asks. Sometimes I think she’s a mind reader. I know this is impossible, but she so accurately conveys my own thoughts far too often for my liking.
I shrug. “I can’t, but regardless, I won’t risk Liv’s life on the off chance they’re lying.”
“That is what they do best,” Hikari says under her breath.
Amicia shoots her a look that makes my stomach queasy. Hikari silences immediately and stands straighter, no longer slouching against the doorframe. This makes me smile. There’s something about Amicia that makes my insides flutter in all the worst ways. She radiates power like the sun does heat. Jasik explained that it’s her age. The older the vampire, the more powerful the vampire, and Amicia is as old as they come. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who submits to her will so easily.
“You have far too many admirable qualities, Ava,” Amicia says. “These witches never deserved you.”
I smile, relief washing over me. I thought it was going to be much harder to convince them to help.
“But I will not risk our lives again. My answer is no.”
Amicia’s words roar through the silent house. No one speaks—not me, not the other vampires, not the witches outside. For one brief moment in time, her words are comforting. She grants me the one thing I could never get on my own: freedom from the witches.
Then I blink back into reality.
Chapter Two
The solarium is dark.
The clouds roll in, and the stars hide behind this overcast evening. The moonlight doesn’t quite penetrate the endless row of stained-glass windows like it does on other nights. It’s as if the sky knows what’s happening—the eerie request from the witches startling it, too.
Amicia and I are alone. She ordered the vampires to retreat to their bedchambers and the hunters to wait in the foyer, leaving just the two of us alone to chat. I don’t have a good feeling about this.
I glance through the parlor and spot my sire by the front door. Jasik eyes me curiously, anxiously awaiting our return. The others don’t make eye contact. They’re not happy with me or this situation. They want the witches to leave and for life to get back to normal, but our enemies have no intention of leaving us—not until I join them outside and share the bad news.
Even then, I may have to force them to leave. The witches came seeking aid. I doubt they’ll just walk away without help, especially with such a precious life hanging in the balance.
Amicia made it clear. We will not aid them. We will not look for Liv. By choosing to remain part of this vampire family, I have condemned my past to death. That stark realization doesn’t startle me.
When I asked Jasik to save me—when I willingly became a vampire—I knew I would be forced to choose. Deep down, that reality lived inside me. I fought it over the months that passed, striving for a world without violence and bloodshed. Now I know the truth. Utopia only exists in my dreams. Unfortunately, when I close my eyes, I don’t envision that perfect world; I see nightmares of betrayal and hatred instead.
The tiny hairs all over my body alert me to something sinister. My throat tightens, and in the corner of my eye, I see her. Amicia is standing close beside me. She follows my gaze, and Jasik quickly looks away. He’s pretending not to be eavesdropping. They all are. Amicia narrows her gaze before speaking.
“Wait outside with our visitors,” she says. Her tone is sharp, abrupt, leaving no room for argument.
Jasik nods and offers me a quick farewell glance. One by one, the hunters step onto the porch. The door is closed firmly behind them, and I’ve never felt more alone. I know I’m safe here. Amicia has admitted that she cares for me and wants me to remain a member of her nest, but still, something about this situation is unsettling.
Why can’t the hunters eavesdrop? Asking them to wait outside, knowing they will be too distracted to focus on our conversation while the witches are so close, seems as though our fearless leader has malicious intentions. I try not to think about that. I don’t want to visualize more treachery. A girl can only handle so much deception and dishonesty before she begins to take it personally.
“I know you’re upset with me,” I say. I’m the first to speak, and I do so softly. I’m cautious because I don’t want to upset her. Not simply for personal safety, but also because I do cherish my life here.
I scan the room, looking for the best seating. Being the only two vampires in the room, we have our choice, but I want to be in earshot of the hunters outside. I don’t trust that the witches won’t see this as a preemptive strike against them. They’re paranoid enough to make matters worse.
There are several wooden benches lining the walls, and Amicia takes a seat at one. She ushers for me to join her. I hesitate before sitting directly beside her. Our legs touch, and the sensation of brushing against something so cold and solid jolts my heart.