“Maura, I’m—”
“If you ever stop being yourself around me again, I’ll never forgive you.” I wasn’t going to let him feel like he'd done something wrong. I was the one who was damaged. He'd been playing around. It was my mind that had traveled into that dark place and triggered that response. “If I wanted you to stop, I would have made you stop. I know I went a little weird there for a second, but if you'd waited a moment longer you would have seen I was fine.” I tilted my head toward Jamie. He was still standing next to the bed, watching us. I gave him a pointed look, hopefully showing my words were meant for him as well.
Louie drew my attention back to him by gently brushing some of my hair away from my face. “Okay, beautiful.” His infectious smile returned, reassuring me. He ran his fingers through his hair, rubbing his scalp. “Do I have any bald spots?” he asked, tilting his head down for me to look.
I chuckled. “That’s what you get for slapping my ass.” Sitting up, I clambered out of bed. “Where are you taking me for lunch?” I asked Jamie because Louie was still occupied with massaging his scalp.
“Do you want tacos?”
Jamie knew tacos were my favorite food. Looking back and forth between him and Louie, I bit my lip to hide a knowing smile. These two clowns were trying to cheer me up. It was like the past six years apart hadn't happened. We were falling back into who we used to be to each other. Friends. A huge part of me was overjoyed while a small niggling made me feel like I didn’t deserve them. They had been the embodiment of my happiness growing up, but I hadn’t spared them a glance when I'd left home.
“Maura?” Jamie’s voice pulled me from my internal pity party. His fingers wrapped around my upper arm, eyes full of concern. I was so zoned out, I hadn’t seen him approach. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head with a smile. “I need to shower and find some clothes. Give me twenty minutes?”
He nodded. I practically skipped to my bathroom but stopped just as I reached the door. Looking over my shoulder, I asked, “We get to go alone, right? Just the three of us, no goon squad?”
Before I'd been ambushed at that party, things had been a little more relaxed. I'd been allowed to go to school and friends’ houses without constant supervision. That night had changed everything. After, I'd never been allowed to go anywhere outside the house without an escort. Life had become too suffocating here. I had become resentful… hateful… suicidal.
“It’ll just be us,” Jamie replied, taking a seat on the couch facing the TV. Just like Stefan’s study, my room was big enough to have a lounge. One side of my room was all bedroom furniture, with two dressers, two nightstands, and my huge bed between them. On the other side was my own little living room with a charcoal sectional couch facing the flat screen hanging over the fireplace, along with a coffee table and a plush, light gray armchair off to the side.
I was in and out of the shower in under ten minutes. I towel-dried my hair and used another to wrap around my body. Jamie was still sitting on the couch texting while Louie was still on my bed casually looking through my phone. He had no sense of boundaries.
“Find my naked selfies?” I teased.
Louie sighed dramatically. “No.”
I chuckled. As I made my way across the room, I caught both of them staring at me. Was I flashing them? Tucking my towel tighter around my body, I kept my eyes forward. That didn’t seem to help. I could still feel them tracking me. Heat began to creep up the back of my neck and by the time I made it inside my closet, I was a little flushed.
I’d be lying if I said they weren’t attractive, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit I’d done a little admiring. It was harmless—like appreciating art. Being in the mob gave them a dangerous appeal that made the rest of the female population drop their panties. However, both were commitment-phobes. They were the love ‘em and leave ‘em type of players.
It had to be loneliness getting to me. My ex had betrayed me and my self-worth had taken a nosedive. I was desperate to feel desirable. What woman wasn’t? Unfortunately, Jamie and Louie were the only men I’d come into contact with since then and that was why I was misreading them. It made sense. That has to be it. I should take a trip to a bar or club to find a rebound soon or things might get awkward.
I completely raided my closet. Everything in there belonged to eighteen-year-old me. Two things on my body had changed since then: my boobs and my ass. They were both bigger. I tried on five pairs of jeans until I finally found one that sort of fit. They were skin-tight and I was barely able to button them. All my old bras were a big nope and my boobs were too big to go without. I’d be bouncing all over the place. There was no other option: I was stuck wearing the one I came here in.
“Hey, guys?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s up, sweet cheeks?”
I grinned. Oh, Louie. “I don’t have the chest of an eighteen-year-old anymore!” I shouted.
“Thank God for that!” Louie laughed.
I rolled my eyes and poked my head out of the closet. “I need my bra from the bathroom. Can one of you grab it from the laundry basket for me?”
Louie was the one who hopped up and disappeared into the bathroom.
“Why didn’t you pack any clothes?” Jamie asked.
“You told me to pack what I couldn’t live without. I didn’t know you were going to burn my house down. Also, I thought I had clothes here that fit but apparently my body has changed in the past six years. You should see how many pairs of jeans I just tried on.”
“We’ll stop somewhere on the way home and get you some new clothes.”
“You’re going to take me bra shopping?” I asked incredulously. Jamie hated shopping.
“Bra shopping? Will there be modeling involved?” Louie teased, giving me a dirty smirk while he dangled my nude colored bra by one finger. Cue eye roll.
He handed over my bra and I rushed to finish getting dressed. I found a black blouse that fit nicely and really cute nude peep-toe boots among my old shoe collection.
After I was dressed, I found a hair tie and mascara in my purse. I used them to put my hair up into a messy bun and add a little volume to my lashes.
“Okay, let’s go!”
CHAPTER 9
Paco’s Tacos had the best tacos in the world. I hadn’t been there in years. I was so excited; I was bouncing in my seat as I looked over the menu.
“Calm down. They’re just tacos,” Jamie said as he read his own menu next to me.
“They’re not just tacos. They’re orgasmic tacos. Anyone would be excited for an orgasm.” I could tell he was fighting to hold back a smile and a triumphant smirk pulled at my lips when he failed.
Returning from the bathroom, Louie took a seat across from us. “What about orgasms?”
“Want to share an order of nachos?” I deflected. I hadn’t realized until we’d gotten here that I hadn’t eaten in two whole days. Going days without eating wasn’t unusual for me. I tended to forget to eat when stressed, like during finals week or finding my ex banging someone else. The longest I’d ever gone without eating was five days and that had been seven years ago. With all the yummy smells surrounding me right now, oh man, I was practically drooling.