“Did you get jumped?” a voice asked.
I glanced behind me, finding Louie sitting in the backseat. “You brought Louie! I told you not to tell anyone!”
“You told me not to tell Stefan or Brody. I was out with Louie when you called.” He sounded angry. “What the fuck was I supposed to do? Kick him out of my car in the middle of nowhere?”
“Well, yeah.” I was aware that I wasn’t being reasonable, but I couldn’t muster enough fucks to give.
“I’m really feeling the love, guys,” Louie grumbled.
We ignored him as Jamie and I had a stare-off—a battle of wills. The muscle in his jaw was twitching and his eyes were dark with rage.
“I need to call Stefan,” he said.
“No. You promised.”
“He’s going to find out when I take you home,” he argued.
“I’m not going home tonight. You’re taking me back to your place.”
“Am I? Why the hell would I do that?”
I understood why he was upset, I would have been too, but I didn’t have it in me right now to be patient. He just needed to give in because I wasn’t going to budge on this.
“Because I need you to! I need time to myself to process what just happened. I just need fucking time! This happened to me. Not anyone else. Can you please just give me the night before I have to lay it all out for everyone to fucking judge?”
They both went quiet, glancing at each other. I closed my eyes. “Can you both promise me you’ll keep quiet about this until tomorrow and then let me tell Stefan?” I included Louie on the promise because Jamie wasn’t the only one who worked for my father. They both did.
“I don’t plan on making any phone calls tonight,” Louie stated from the backseat. Jamie stayed quiet as his eyes traveled over my body again.
“Please, Jamie? I don’t know how much longer I can hold myself together. I’d prefer no one else sees when I fall apart,” I whispered, pleadingly.
He turned away from me, looking torn. I watched as he thought it over as he stared out the windshield into the dark street.
“I have conditions,” he stated before looking back at me. “I want to know everything that happened. I want to know who did this. You’re clutching your left side. That tells me you got hit in the ribs. I don’t know how severe your injuries are. You’re going to show me every single one. No matter how small, I want to see it. If I think they are bad enough, we’re going to the hospital and I’m calling Stefan.”
The thought of showing Jamie everything made me want to scream fuck you, then jump out of the car. There was no way I could show him everywhere they hurt me. But what else was I going to do? Where would I go? He’d call Stefan the moment I got out of the car and would follow me wherever I ran off to. Within the hour, the whole family would know that Stefan Quinn’s daughter was raped. Damnit!
I just needed one night of peace. Just one night!
Staring at Jamie, I asked myself if his conditions were really the price I was willing to pay. Could I do it? Was one night of silence worth it?
I nodded but reluctantly. “But I get to tell Stefan. Do we have a deal?”
Jamie nodded and put the car into drive.
We took Louie home first before we got to Jamie’s condo. The entire drive was awkwardly silent. I could tell Jamie was on edge. He appeared calm, but the air around him was tense and almost suffocating. Once inside his condo, he dropped his keys on the coffee table in front of the couch on his way into the kitchen. I stood awkwardly in the living room as he ripped open his fridge. He pulled out a beer, then a water bottle.
Not one word was spoken as he walked back to me. He put the bottle of water in my hand, not really giving me any other option but to take it. He twisted off the lid on his beer before taking a seat on his couch, then took a swig all while staring at me.
He’s waiting.
The entire ride here I'd debated how I was going to do this. I felt dirty. The strength I’d thought I had was shattered. For Jamie to see that… he’d never look at me the same again.
But I needed time.
It would only be one more set of eyes. I'd repeated that in my head over and over again on the way here, trying to convince myself. It wasn’t until we'd gotten here that I'd figured the faster I got this over with, the faster I could let myself fall apart and cry. Before I lost my nerve, I set the water bottle Jamie gave me on the coffee table and started untying the hair tie holding my shirt closed.
“What are you doing?” Jamie asked when I tossed the tie to the floor and removed my shirt.
“You wanted to see what they did. You wanted to inspect every injury. Well, in order to do that, I have to take off all my clothes. That was the deal.” I dropped my shirt on the floor, then winced as I reached behind to unclasp my bra. As Jamie’s eyes zeroed in on the bite mark on my breast, I saw the foreshadow of comprehension. I unbuttoned my skirt next and started to move it down my hips.
“Maura, stop,” Jamie ordered, jumping to his feet.
He was too late. My skirt and underwear hit the floor. I stood naked before him, but he wouldn’t move his eyes from mine. It pissed me off. This was what he'd asked for.
“Look at me!”
He jumped from my loud outburst. Relenting, his gaze traveled down. I could feel his eyes landing on each spot they'd hurt me. When his eyes reached between my legs, he turned away from me as if the sight offended him.
Tears blurred my vision, then fell before I even realized what was happening. My time to be strong had run out. I didn’t have it in me anymore. I didn’t ever cry, but I was going to let myself tonight. When a sob escaped me, Jamie’s head whipped around. I covered myself the best I could with my arms.
“I tried to fight them, Jamie. I promise I did, but they were too strong,” I cried and crumbled to the floor.
Not a heartbeat later, he was pulling me into his arms. I tensed up and he froze, noticing. Before he could pull away from me, I fisted his shirt in my hands and buried my face into his chest. I cried, letting myself completely fall apart in his arms. My sobs were loud, messy, and wet. His shirt became soaked as he rocked me back and forth, soothingly.
CHAPTER 7
Seven years ago…
Jamie held me until my sobs subsided into hiccups. I was exhausted both mentally and physically. As the awkwardness of being naked set in, I asked to take a shower. I made him promise me again that he wouldn’t tell Stefan before I shut the bathroom door. I set the water to scalding, hoping it would burn away the dirtiness Zack and Tyson had left in their wake.
Jamie had laid out sweatpants and a hoodie on his bed for me to wear before leaving me alone in his room to go sleep on the couch. I tossed and turned in his bed for what felt like hours. My brain kept replaying everything that had happened over and over again. When lying there became unbearable, I sat up against the headboard and I tried to focus on what was going to happen after Stefan found out. Would he blame me? Probably.
He was going to kill them. There was no doubt and that really pissed me off. Shouldn’t I be the one who deserved to get revenge? Why did Stefan get the satisfaction of watching them die? He’d never let me watch. After this, he’d never look at me the same. No one in the family would. I’d be nothing more than a weak, damaged female in their eyes.