“From the sound of it, not to the same extent,” he muttered.
I wasn’t going to explain the differences of being a female versus a male to him. Stefan had understood the hardships I’d face. Fucking hell… I was starting to understand why my father had been a complete and utter dick growing up. “Can you do this for me?”
“I’ll need to talk to Stefan.”
“He’ll agree to it.” I’d hire them myself if he didn’t. Actually, that wasn’t a bad idea.
“Okay,” he said, sighing.
Wanting to ease the tension around his eyes, I brushed my fingers along the side of his face. His hand caught mine, holding it against his warm cheek as his eyes held mine. The intensity of his stare was becoming too much. It made me feel too much. It stirred feelings inside me that weren’t reciprocated, which in turn added fuel to my anger. I didn’t want to be angry at Jamie. Nor did I want to take my frustrations out on him.
To seek comfort, I scooted myself closer, burrowing my head under his chin. He let go of my hand to coil his arm around my back. The feel of his warmth and the strength beneath the hard planes of his body made my heart gallop. Memories from this morning flooded my mind, his fingers trailing over my skin, the way they'd worked me into a frenzy until I'd shattered.
I knew I was in trouble when the line between rational thought and the ache tingling within me blurred. Up this close, he was intoxicating. As if my body had a mind of its own, I arched, pressing more of myself against him. My nose rubbed along his neck and my hands fisted the front of his shirt, afraid he’d pull away.
His arm around me tightened. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to hold me still or pull me closer. I tested the waters by pressing my lips to his neck. He let out a shaky breath. Removing his arm from my back, his hand cupped the back of my bare thigh before he hiked my leg over his hip. He leaned into me, pushing his leg between mine, thigh meeting my core. I shivered as his fingers glided up under the skirt of my dress. His touch was slow and tortuous. My body buzzing with need, I rocked myself against his muscular thigh. His hand jumped to the back of my neck, urging me to look at him.
Apprehensive, my gaze ascended slowly. When I finally met his gorgeous hazel eyes, I gasped. They were darkened and hooded with lust. He inched his face closer to mine until our noses brushed. I was dying to close the distance, but I still wasn’t completely convinced he wanted this, wanted me.
His restraint seemed to break, and his lips slammed over mine. The kiss was bruising yet passionate, like he couldn’t get enough. His tongue demanded entry by licking at the seam of my lips. I eagerly opened for him. His delicious tongue plunged and stroked along mine. The more our kiss deepened, the needier I felt. My core pulsated. It was consuming and I did nothing to fight it. I wanted to give in to this, to him.
My leg tightened around his hip, pulling him even closer until my pelvis kissed his growing desire. I was gifted a throaty groan. The sound was gruff, addictive, and urged me on. I snaked my fingers into his hair and tugged gently.
With little effort, he rolled me onto my back. He yanked my hand from his hair and pinned it to the bed. A muffled groan escaped him again as his lips traveled down my jaw, along my neck, nipping as he went. A full body shiver rippled through me as he reached that delicate spot below my ear. I moaned as his teeth grazed it.
He stilled, body going completely rigid above me. Then he ripped himself away, climbing off the bed so quick, the heat from his body still lingered on mine. I sat up slowly, slightly dizzy and also a little nervous. He stood a few feet away from the bed, head downcast.
Our labored breaths filled the silent bedroom. My lips felt swollen. I didn’t dare touch them. My instincts were telling me not to make any sudden movements.
“Jamie?” I whispered, trying my best not to startle him. I slid to the edge of the bed. The slow movement drew his attention. His gaze lifted from the floor until it reached me. Tentatively, I reached out. He recoiled by stepping out of my reach.
“Don’t touch me.” His voice was harsh, and the words stung.
Refusing to let my hurt show, I masked my face and dropped my hand in my lap. Why did I do this to myself again? Yes, I'd practically thrown myself at him, but he'd kissed me! Was I delusional to think he wanted this as much as I did?
The sting of his rejection seeded deep before it sprouted a life of its own. Its roots and vines ripped their way through me before tearing me apart from the inside out. It was painful and suffocating and I couldn’t stand to be in his presence any longer. I got to my feet and stiffly walked around him toward the door. He didn’t try to stop me.
By the time I made it to my bedroom, I was feeling claustrophobic in this big house. I wanted to run away. I’d proven to be good at it, but I knew it wouldn’t solve any of my problems. I needed to find a different way to deal.
Scooping up my cell from my nightstand, I hit the home button. The screen lit up, showing me that it was just after six on a Friday night. I was going out.
CHAPTER 19
It wasn’t until I was out of the shower that I noticed the new cluster of bags sitting on my couch. I peeked in one and found an abundant number of tampons, pads, and panty liners. In the other bags, I found silky pajama sets, athletic wear, and everything a girl would need in her bathroom from makeup to hair accessories to irons.
Stefan had made sure I had everything I'd said I needed and then some. Was this his way of apologizing?
I grabbed some of the makeup and the iron before returning to the bathroom. Smearing on enough concealer to hide the bruises on my face, I went with dark colors around my green eyes, making them pop. I put wavy curls in my blood-red hair and pinned it all to one side.
The dress I chose to wear was burgundy and skin tight with long sleeves and cut off at mid-thigh. The back was jaw dropping. It was backless, exposing my entire spine and shamrock tattoo. The dress was sexy as hell. However, it had a flaw. I couldn’t wear any underwear. Panty lines ruined the allure.
I put on a new pair of Louboutin black lace peep-toe pumps and stuffed my phone, ID, and credit cards into a wristlet. With car keys in hand, I made my way downstairs to the control room where I knew at least one goon would be stationed. Stefan’s rule was I couldn’t go anywhere without security. Fine. I was going to do exactly that.
The control room was near the garage. The door was slightly ajar and I could hear voices inside as I approached. Pushing the door open, I stepped into the small room. Josh was sitting in a swivel desk chair with his back to a wall of monitors surveilling different areas of the house and property. On the opposite side of the room was a huge gun cage. Leaning against it was the grumpy Dean. They both stopped talking when they noticed me.
Glancing from one to the other, I wondered, Which one will be the most entertaining? My gaze landed on Dean. “Come on, Grumpy. You’re coming with me. Stefan’s orders.”
They exchanged a look with each other before Dean pushed off the wall and followed me out. Obediently, he walked behind me through the rest of the house to the garage. Passing the many sleek and expensive cars, I hit the unlock button on my key fob as we came upon my little Audi. I tilted my head toward the passenger side. “Get in.”
Planting his feet on the ground, he eyed me with suspicion. “Where are we going?”