Stefan had said that everything he'd done or put me through was to make me stronger. Had that just been more lies? I should have felt bitter. I was beyond fed up. Maybe I’d grown accustomed and that was why I couldn’t feel anything other than numb.
Jamie dropped his arms from the chair to stuff his hands into his pockets. He was still dressed in black slacks and a burgundy button-down shirt he had worn to today’s meeting. The shirt was untucked now, and the sleeves were rolled to his elbows, exposing his tattooed skin. His small smile was my answer. I had been the only one naive to Stefan’s grand plan.
It was kind of nice talking to him without fighting. It was almost like the way we'd been before—friends. Then reality set in. I remembered the way he'd hurt me. My anger bubbled to the surface and I found myself hating him for making me miss him.
He must have noticed the change in me because his eyes narrowed. “How much longer is this shit going to carry on? I’ve tried to give you space. Yes, I fucked up, but how long are you going to punish me?”
“I’m not punishing you. Whatever it was we had is over.”
“Stop acting like you don’t know what we are to each other. I know I did a shitty thing, but it wasn’t enough to call it quits. Punish me, fine, I deserve it, but you don’t get to walk away from me. Not for that,” he snapped, then shook his head. “There has to be something else going on. Something happened or changed that you’re not telling me.”
With a shuddering breath, I steeled myself. This was going somewhere I didn’t want to venture. “You need to move on.”
He reeled back and his eyes turned dark. “Like you are with Louie? Or is De Luca the one you want? It’s hard to tell. You’ve kissed both of them in the past twenty-four hours.” My surprise must have shown on my face because he smiled, cruelly. “I guess you were right about the security. They aren’t so discreet.”
It must have been Stefan’s goons. Dean and Asher wouldn’t have told him shit. Biting my tongue, I stopped myself from taking the bait. I didn’t owe him an explanation and I was done fighting with him.
“I told you, you’re mine,” he said, calmness returning to his voice.
“I don’t belong to you,” I snapped, my control slipping.
“I love you.”
I threw the crystal tumbler as hard as I could at him. He easily ducked. The glass smashed into the wall behind him, shattering into pieces that scattered on the wood floor. “Don’t fucking say that to me,” I bit out, jaw clenching. He was making things harder—to the point of unbearable. I needed to get away from him.
I turned and darted for the door. Just as I was pulling the heavy door open, Jamie’s hands slammed it closed and his warm body pressed against me. “Stop running away from me,” he growled. One of his hands dropped from the door and wrapped around my waist, lying flat on my stomach and pulling me close. His pelvis molded to my ass at the same time his nose brushed my ear, then burrowed into my hair.
“Let me go,” I ordered, my words coming out strangled.
“I can’t.”
Trapped, I pushed on the door to try and shove him backwards to give me the tiniest bit of room to slip away, but my attempt was futile. It was like pushing against a cement wall. I only ended up rubbing my body along his, causing him to harden in his pants. His other hand, which was still holding the door closed, quickly dropped to grasp one of my wrists and pinned it above my head. His lips pressed where my neck curved into my shoulder, drawing forth a gasp.
My heart rate picked up speed. “Jamie, stop it.” I didn’t want him to know he was affecting me, but his touch, no matter how rough, and his lips made my body betray me.
He trailed open mouth kisses up my neck. My skin pebbled with goose bumps. When he sucked, then nipped with his teeth at the sensitive spot just below my ear, my whole body shuddered. “You want this,” he said. His hand on my stomach slipped down over my thigh and his fingers began hiking up my nightgown until it bunched at my hips.
“Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” I growled with zero oomph behind it.
He bit down hard on my sensitive spot, forcing a groan from me. “I know you want this, but you’re fighting it,” he whispered as he grazed my ear with his lips and his finger plucked at the band on my underwear. “If I slip my fingers into your panties right now, I’ll find you wet and ready for me.”
Why did the word panties falling from his lips seem to undo me? If I hadn't been wet before, I definitely was now. I ached to give in, beg him to fuck me. But I’d hate myself after.
His fingers slipped into the thin fabric protecting my core. I hadn't known I'd been holding my breath until he glided between my folds, brushing over my clit, making me gasp for air. “Fuck, baby, you’re soaked,” he groaned. His mouth began working my neck again, licking as he went. His strong fingers rubbed my bud of nerves into a frenzy. I was panting without even realizing it.
My body was desperate for him. My heart was scared of him. My mind was angry with him. I was short circuiting, unsure of what to do. In that moment nothing seemed right or wrong. I was just trying to exist.
When he circled my entrance before pushing a finger inside me, I whimpered. He finger fucked me slowly before adding a second while the heel of his palm ground against my clit. My restraint withered. I threw my head back on his shoulder, moaning.
“You’re clenching around my fingers. Your pussy is begging me not to leave it. I wonder if my tongue would get the same response.” My brain didn’t even have time to process his dirty words because he tore his fingers away from my panties, spun me around, and slammed my back against the door. My nightgown was ripped off my shoulders, literally. The tearing of fabric barely registered to my lust subdued brain and before I knew it, I was standing before him completely naked. My protests bubbled in my chest but died in my throat when he kneeled and sucked my clit between his lips. I arched my back to give him better access. My leg was lifted and hooked over his shoulder. He worked my clit and probed my core with his tongue, forcing me to cry out. On one shaky leg, I rocked my hips as he got me to the edge. As I was about to fall from it and meet my climax, the bastard pulled away and got to his feet. His lustful eyes met mine while he wiped his wet mouth with the back of his hand.
“You want this,” he said, flicking his fingers between us.
My lungs constricted. He was playing with me.
“I didn’t want this. You made me want you!” I snapped and pushed off the wall. I slammed my fists down on his chest in a fit of rage. “I hate you! I hate you!” I repeated as I continued to slam my fists on his chest. He caught me by my wrists, but not before my fingers could snag ahold of his shirt. With my strength combined with his, we ripped it open, sending buttons flying.
His beautiful yet angry hazel eyes bored into mine as if they could read my every thought and every secret. With how perceptive he was, I wouldn’t have doubted it. That was just another reason why I needed to stay away from him. I pulled at my wrists he still held tightly, to no avail.
“You don’t hate me,” he declared, stepping closer to me, invading my space, forcing me to step back. He did it again and again, walking me backwards. My hip bumped into a chair. He kicked it over and out of the way, pushing me even further until my bare ass touched the table. “You want to hate me, but you don’t. The question is why?”