“’Cuz your wish is my command.”
I wouldn’t stop until everything on her bucket list was checked off. Giving me positive tasks to focus on other than feeling like something was still missing in my life. I had everything I’d ever wanted now that she was here with me. I thought her presence would make the demons go away.
It didn’t.
Sober life only heightened the motherfuckers.
I wanted to make all her dreams come true, including being the man she deserved. Whether I deserved her was still up for discussion.
“That’s quite a list you got there,” I spoke the truth.
“I’ve been adding to it since I was a little girl. Do you have a bucket list?”
“You are my bucket list.”
She smirked, pursing her perfect pink lips. We were closer than ever, spending every waking second together. We hadn’t moved past kissing, knowing once I truly made her mine there would be no going back.
For me.
We were intimate in other ways that mattered more than sex. Journey was made for me.
End of story.
“Is that what you’ve always carried in your backpack?”
She nodded again, sucking in her bottom lip.
“A bunch of notebooks?”
“They’re more than just notebooks. They’re my journals. I’ve been writing in one since shortly after I learned how to spell my name. I carry them around with me everywhere I go.”
“Like I carry my guitar? It’s an extension of who you are.”
“I figured you’d understand.”
“You’ve always been smart, Junie. A lot fuckin’ smarter than me, that’s for damn sure.”
“You create music that speaks to people’s souls. Do you have any idea how incredible that is? Your music, your voice, your talent, heals people, Cash Motherfuckin’ McGraw.”
“Junie, don’t cuss.”
“I’m serious. You have the power to turn someone’s day around. Do you know how special that is? All those legends you introduced me to when I was a little girl, guess what? You’re one of them. Do you ever take a second to realize who you are and what you mean to your fans? A moment to really take in the fact you’re an idol for millions of people all over the world?” She paused, allowing her words to sink in. “The way you’ve always felt about your role models is the same way people feel about you. You understand that, right?”
“Darlin’, you’re bein’ so sweet, it’s makin’ my teeth ache.”
“No.” She adamantly shook her head. “Don’t do that. Don’t make a joke out of what I’m telling you. Why does it make you so uncomfortable to talk about this?”
“I don’t know.”
“How do you see yourself, McGraw?”
“Junie, I’m just a man wit’ a guitar. All I’ve ever wanted to do was play music. Regardless if it was for one person or millions. It makes no difference to me. I write songs ’cuz I’ll go crazy if I don’t. I play my guitar ’cuz it’s the only thing I know how to do.”
“Then why did you want to become a rock star?”
“To prove everyone wrong. The money, the success, don’t get me wrong—it’s a beautiful thing, but if I didn’t have this life, I’d still be playin’ music on the side of the road. It’s simply who I am.”
I slid her off my lap and leaned forward on my knees. Wanting to change the subject. She crouched on the floor in front of me, grabbing the sides of my face.
“Who you are is an escape for millions of people. You’re their Johnny Cash, babe.”
“What else you got in there?” I nodded to her bag, silently pleading with her to let this go.
“Is this why you don’t do interviews?”
“Junie...”
“No, for real. You don’t like talking about yourself, do you?”
Silence.
I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything.
“You don’t know how to take praise, Cash.”
“Alright, Dr. Pierce, are we through wit’ your analysis? I know I’m fucked up,” I snapped in a harsher tone than intended.
“Don’t get mad at me.”
I turned my face and kissed her hand, leaving my lips to linger. “I could never be mad at you.”
“I just want you to see what I do. What everyone sees in you. You’re not fucked up. You just think you are. I wish you could see yourself for who you really are.”
“Why?” I rubbed my mouth against her soft skin. “You see it for both of us.”
<>Journey<>
I yearned for him to see the truth beneath the lies he made up in his own head.
It broke my heart.
This was the perfect chance to say what he needed to hear more than ever before. Staring deep into his eyes, I held my heart out for him to take.
Declaring for the first time, “I love you, Johnny Cash McGraw.”
“Junie, Junie, Junie,” he whispered against my hand in an excruciating tone.
“I do. I love you. I’ve always loved you. Even before I knew what love was. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh—
it’s all I love. You are love. Do you hear me? I. Love. You.”
“Junie, Junie, Junie,” he repeated in the same agonizing voice, like it hurt him to hear those three words out of my mouth.
“This is love. Me. You. Us. That’s what love is. There you go, Cash, I finally showed you. And I’ll spend the rest of my life reminding you every day if I have to. Just so you know...” I spoke with conviction.
“You’re worthy of it.”
Chapter 17
“If they want to know me, they just have to read the lyrics.”
-George Michael
<>Journey<>
“Cash, where are you taking me?” I questioned, blindfolded in the back of an SUV.
“Darlin’, how many times ya gonna ask me that today?”
I woke up to him looking at me with a huge ass grin on his face, saying he had a surprise in store and I should get dressed and ready to go. I didn’t question it. I did as I was told. The second we stepped off his private plane, he blindfolded me.
After the tenth time asking, his response stayed the same. Answering a question with a question. It was all the information he’d willingly divulge. I wasn’t a fan of surprises, getting or giving them. I was the worst when it came down to it. This was pure and utter torture, and he was enjoying every last second of it.
It’d been two weeks since I told him I loved him, and two months since we’d been together. After Cash kissed me on stage and introduced me to the world, the press started following us everywhere we went. They were relentless in their pursuit to get a picture of the newest Hollywood couple. We were worthy of front-page news and a big ass paycheck. All because it was Cash Motherfuckin’ McGraw and the NFL god Jackson Pierce’s little sister. I was surprised at how quick they put two-and-two together.
The headlines were all similar.
Life of Debauchery’s front man, Cash McGraw, was seen out with NFL quarterback’s younger sister, Journey Pierce.
It went from Trending Now to Breaking News in Music to Life of Debauchery is making the news yet again...