“I know. But that doesn’t mean he’s good for me. I really want to like Richard. That has to count for something. Cruz and I are friends right now, and that’s how I want to keep it.”
She laughed. “I know you do. But you can’t make yourself like someone because you think they’re a safe bet. You already fell for a rock star, bad boy.” She wriggled her brows.
“Whatever. I believe in learning from my mistakes.” I chuckled.
The doorbell rang and Ari ran to answer it. She came back with a package in hand. “It’s for you.”
“Really? I haven’t ordered anything.”
“Open it.” She shook the box in front of my face before handing it to me and hopping to sit on the counter.
I cut the box open and pulled out another box inside. When I removed the top, there was a black suit inside. A pencil skirt and suit jacket, along with a cream-colored shell.
“Oh, wow. Is there a note?” she asked.
I fiddled around in the tissue paper and pulled out the card and read it aloud. “A little something to wish you luck on your interview. No one deserves it more than you, Jade. Go kick ass. Love you more, your best friend, Cruz.” I barked out a laugh.
“Your rock star, bad boy, sure is thoughtful,” Ari said, pulling the suit from the box. “This is gorgeous, and a size four. The bad boy sure knows you.”
“Yeah.” I played with the ring that hung from my necklace.
“And you turned down his offer to fly you to New York and stay at their swanky apartment. You’re really sticking to your guns, girl.” She hopped back up on the counter and faced me.
It wasn’t about sticking to my guns. It was about being careful. What I’d come to realize was that there were different types of heartache. And I’d already experienced my fair share. Losing my mom at a young age was brutal. Unfair, even. But it wasn’t in my control. It wasn’t in anyone’s control. But getting my heart broken by Cruz Winslow a second time—that was in my control. And I wasn’t going to let it just happen. And I was going to do everything I could to make sure it didn’t happen again.
Cruz was the other half of my soul. There were times that I actually felt like my heart might stop beating when I wasn’t with him. But when I think back to that day and waking up in the hospital—it’s a reminder that Cruz lied to me. That he had a problem that I couldn’t fix. Something bigger than the both of us. I thought about all we’d been through—the miscarriage, the fire, and Dex, and I wanted to push it all away and protect myself.
Protect my heart.
“I can’t go to my interview with Cruz on my brain. And what if his father showed up? What then? No. This is something I need to do on my own. That’s why they invented this thing called credit cards,” I said, admiring the suit she held in her hands.
“I get it. But he sure is trying to show you that he’s changed.”
“I agree. And maybe he actually has. But that doesn’t mean he won’t hurt me again,” I admitted.
“Well, no one can guarantee they won’t hurt you, Jade. Even Mr. Perfect, Richard. He’s capable of hurting you too.”
But he wasn’t. My heart wasn’t Richard’s to break. Only Cruz could do that, because he still had it. I just wouldn’t give him the rest of me.
“Go try it on. It’s so much better than the cheap one you showed me online.” Ari laughed as I put a frozen lasagna in the oven for dinner.
“Alright. I’ll come show you in a little bit. Dinner will be ready in forty-five minutes.”
“Ah…I love when you slave over the stove for me.” Ari laughed as she hopped off the counter.
I walked to my room and reached for my phone and texted Cruz. This was the first time I was initiating the conversation.
Me ~ Hey. I just got the suit. Thank you. That was beyond thoughtful.
Cruz ~ No problem. You’re going to kill it. I’m going to be in town later in the week and I’d like to see you.
I twirled the ring on my necklace.
Me ~ Of course I want to see you too.
Cruz ~ Cool. I’ll text you when I get in and we’ll figure it out then.
Me ~ Okay. Sounds good.
He was playing it cool, and that surprised me. He’d backed off asking about Richard, and he’d stopped pushing about us getting back together lately. As if he were completely respecting my wishes. So why didn’t I feel happy about that?
“So, big interview next week for both of us,” Richard said as we walked to class.
The weather was starting to cool down, as fall approached. He had his Harvard interview and I had my interview at NYU. We’d both been invited to interview at Northwestern next month, which was very exciting.
“Right? I’m sure I’ll be nervous when I get there. Right now, I’m just excited to go,” I said.
“Jade?” a familiar voice called out and I turned around.
Cruz Winslow sauntered my way, and my head wasn’t the only one to turn in his direction. Two girls in front of me whipped around and gaped. He wore dark jeans, a T-shirt, and an army green-colored sports coat. His hair was styled to perfection, overgrown and sexy. He took my breath away. His honey-colored gaze locked with mine.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were getting in tonight?” I hoped he and Richard missed the tremble in my voice.
His fingers intertwined with mine and he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “Yeah, I flew in early. I was in touch with the university about graduation, and they asked if I’d consider speaking to Professor Watt’s creative writing class about writing lyrics this morning. I was going to call you after to see if you want to meet up for dinner. You know, just to catch up.”
I was dumbfounded, and I’m sure I didn’t hide it well. Richard cleared his throat beside me, and I pulled my hand away from Cruz, missing the contact the moment I did so.
“Yeah. I can do that.”
He smiled and then moved his gaze to the boy beside me. “Oh hey, Dick.”
Richard chuckled. “Hey. What’s up?”
“The sun, the sky, my career, your luck at the moment. That’s a loaded question, Dick.”
I shook my head and laughed. I couldn’t help it. “You know you’re ridiculous, right?”
“I do. I better run. I’ll text you about dinner.”
I didn’t want him to go. I wanted to wrap myself around him and keep him here. I bit down on my bottom lip and nodded. “Yeah. Sounds good.”