“No, it was beautiful. Just hit me with all the feels, you know?”
“Good, can’t ask for more than that,” I said. I studied her, wanting to capture the emotions I stirred in her.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Tell me what happened that morning. You know, when you found me. I’ve never really known any of the details about what happened, because, well, I didn’t want to know at first. But now I do,” she said. Her face hardened a bit as she spoke, as if she were reliving it.
I sat up a little straighter and let out a long breath. Jade was entitled to know everything that went on that morning, no matter how uncomfortable it was to revisit it.
“Adam woke me up shouting my name and I stumbled out of my bedroom. I was stunned to see you on the floor. Jesus, Jade. I lost my shit. I fell apart. I grabbed you and tried to wake you up, and Adam called 911.”
“I was near the hotel room door, right?”
“Yes. And you were in and out of consciousness. It was so fucking scary.” I shook my head, still in disbelief about what happened. Dex had hit her, and her head came down on the entry table and she fell to the ground. She’d lain there for hours.
“And you hadn’t known I was coming to see you, so you were probably very confused to see me there.”
“Yeah, and the fact that I’d taken two Ambiens and washed them down with whiskey, well that didn’t help much either. I’d gone from being completely sedated to being sober as shit and terrified that I’d lost you.”
“And Dex was gone, right? He’d left after it happened?”
“He said he didn’t realize you were knocked out, and he panicked. Fucking piece of shit just left you there,” I said.
“Yeah. He was angry that night.”
“Are you ready to tell me what happened? He was there with a girl when you arrived, right?” I asked.
“Yeah. They had a big pile of cocaine on the table, and I walked in. She wanted to leave, but he didn’t. I ran in your room and tried to wake you, but you were—I don’t know. I couldn’t wake you. He said we were going to talk about why I didn’t like him. He dragged me back to the front room, and it went from bad to worse pretty quickly. I pushed him off me and he knocked all his cocaine on the floor and got angry. He pinned me to the couch, and I fought him off. I ran for the door, and he caught me by my hair or shirt collar, I don’t remember.”
I stroked her hand with mine and fisted my other hand beside me. My rage for Dex was unexplainable. I’d beaten the shit out of him, and it still wasn’t enough.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Jade. I fucking hate him.”
She looked up at me. Her jade green gaze filled with emotion. “I don’t. Not anymore. He was out of his mind, Cruz. He has a serious drug problem. And I can’t waste my energy hating him.”
“I don’t mind wasting energy hating him.”
She laughed and wiped at her falling tears.
“Life is about forgiveness, right? But it’s also about learning from past mistakes, and that’s what I’m trying to do now,” she said, squeezing my hand. “I’m not trying to punish you, I’m really not. I just don’t want to get hurt again.”
I couldn’t stop myself if I tried. I reached for Jade and pulled her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her. “I get it, and I’m so fucking sorry for hurting you.”
She looked up at me and placed her hand on my cheek. “I know you are.”
“I love you, More Jade.”
“I love you too. But it’s just not our time right now. You need to focus on your sobriety, and I need to focus on my life.”
I touched my forehead to hers, and we sat like that for a few minutes. Neither of us saying a word. The only audible sound was our breaths coming hard and fast, as we acknowledged all the pain and all the hurt.
But most importantly—all the love that was still there.
Chapter Eleven
Jade
The alarm on my phone went off, but I was already awake. Today was a big day. I’d dreamed of attending NYU medical school for as long as I could remember. I made my way into the bathroom and washed my face and straightened my hair. I thought of Cruz as I pulled my new suit on and looked in the mirror. We’d made progress after our talk at the beach. It actually felt good to talk about what had happened last year, and I was glad we’d finally done it. It was a step in the right direction.
My phone vibrated.
Cruz ~ Thinking of you. Good luck today. I’m proud of you. Kick ass. Love you.
My chest squeezed. I loved him too. But it was too soon after everything that had happened. We were both still healing.
Me ~ Thank you! Wearing my new swanky suit. Feeling very sophisticated. Love you more.
Cruz thought I was still dating Richard, and I’d be smart to keep it that way.
One more text came through. There was a photo attached of Dad and Sara both holding a thumb up. Ridiculously cute.
Dad ~ Proud of you, Jady bug. Just be yourself.
Me ~ Thanks guys. Love you both.
I made my way downstairs and Ubered over to the university. I tried to eat a protein bar, but my stomach was in knots. I tucked it in my purse, closed my eyes, and concentrated on getting my breathing under control.
NYU offered free tuition to the students they admitted to their medical school. It also happened to be in my second favorite city. The idea of living in New York and attending medical school thrilled me. I was lucky just to get this interview. Getting in would be even more of a longshot. But I was all about long shots these days. I didn’t think Cruz and I could ever get back to where we were this quickly. We were the best of friends now. Four months ago, we were barely speaking.
Yep. All about the long shots.
I made my way to the lobby where we were scheduled to meet. There was a group of students there, dressed similarly to me, so I walked over that way.
“Hi, I’m Siera,” a girl with blonde hair slicked back in a bun said.
“Hey, I’m Jade. Nice to meet you.”
Three more people introduced themselves, Jonah, Kylie, and Brad. They were all here for the interview.
“Where do you go to school, Jade?” Jonah asked. His voice echoed a bit in the large lobby. The marble floors were gleaming in the light coming in from above.
“I go to Northwestern.”
“Ah, great school. Kylie and I go to Columbia. Brad attends Stanford, and Siera goes to Duke.”