“Nothing. I haven’t even told you about him since Honduras. Why are you bringing him up?” I asked, and we paused to place our orders.
“Cruz might have mentioned it when I spoke to him last. He said he’s really trying to give you space, and then he hissed something about your boyfriend’s nickname being Dick?” Dad said with a shrug.
“Oh my gosh, how often do you talk to him? He’s ridiculous because A. his name is Richard; B. he’s not my boyfriend; C. it’s none of Cruz’s business.”
Dad barked out a laugh. “I think Cruz would beg to differ.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, I did go out with Richard once, but there just wasn’t anything there. I haven’t told Cruz that it’s over because right now I think we both need time, and it keeps a little distance there until I figure things out. He needs to focus on his recovery, and I need to focus on school. I think it’s good for me to be on my own right now.”
Dad studied me before he spoke. “Have you forgiven him for what happened?”
“Yes. I mean, it wasn’t his fault. At least not the part about Dex attacking me. But I need to know that I can trust him again before I jump back in,” I said, reaching for my water and taking a long sip. “Because honestly, when we begin dating again—if we begin dating again—there’s going to have to be an understanding that this is it, this is forever.”
“I get that, and trust is important in any relationships. I had a hard time moving on after Mom passed, you know that. But we can’t always protect ourselves from everything, or we wouldn’t be living.” Dad tore off a large piece of bread and smothered it in butter.
“I know, but you can take precautions to protect yourself from getting hurt, and that’s what I’m doing,” I said.
“To an extent, Jade. You were very guarded for a long time after Mom passed, always a cautious kid about who you let in. And that’s why it was so nice to see you so happy with Cruz. I worried that you might not ever get there. I worried that what happened to Mom had scared you so much you wouldn’t let people in. And what happened to you with Dex was terrifying. Hell, I’d still like to hurt that little shit. And Cruz, well, he messed up really bad. But he’s human, and he’s working hard to right his wrongs, and I commend that.”
“I do too. And I know I can’t control everything that life throws at me. Mom’s death was out of everyone’s control. So, that was a hurt that I couldn’t avoid. But letting Cruz hurt me again—that’s in my control.”
“You can’t protect your heart from everything, or you won’t be living. Cruz didn’t die—he made a mistake. And people mess up. It’s part of life. You can’t avoid that. Now if you tell me that you just don’t love him anymore, well that’s part of life too. And he’ll have to understand that.”
I gasped. “No. Of course not. I love him so much it hurts most of the time,” I said, swiping at the two tears that ran down my cheek. “That’s why he has the power to hurt me so much. Love isn’t always enough.”
Dad reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “Loving someone doesn’t mean that you’ll never get hurt, Jady bug. But it means that you love one another enough to get over the hurdles that life throws at you. And trust me, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, life will challenge you at times. So, be with the person that you love the most, and make it work. And right now, if you want to be alone, and figure things out—this is the time to do that. I was terrified for you to go on your own to New York for that interview.”
I squeezed his hand and laughed. “Well, it wasn’t for lack of effort. You sure tried to weasel your way in.”
Dad’s head fell back, and he smiled. “It’s hard for me to let you go sometimes. It nearly killed me when you decided to spend the summer in Honduras. But I’m proud as hell of you for doing it.”
“I know. I love you, Dad.”
“Love you too, Jady bug. Okay, enough of the mushy stuff. Tell me more about this interview.”
We spent the next few hours talking and laughing, and I told him all about the lab at NYU and the anatomy class that I sat in on. Spending time with my dad was exactly what I needed.
The next morning, I was up early for class. The last few hours of my day were spent in Elaine’s office doing research. I’d been her research assistant for more than a year now, and we’d grown so close. She was a brilliant emergency room doctor, and I looked up to her immensely.
“Well, kiddo. How does it feel? Your work is going to be published in one of the most prestigious medical journals by the end of this year,” Elaine said.
“It feels really good.” I stacked up the papers I had spread out on her desk and started loading things into my backpack.
“Good. It should. And you feel good about the interview at NYU?”
“Yeah. I mean, everyone there was brilliant, so that’s a little intimidating. But I think it went well,” I said, pulling my backpack onto my shoulder.
“Trust me. They like humble candidates. Not the self-proclaimed superstars.” She laughed. “What about Northwestern? You’re interviewing there next week?”
“Yes. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Good. Those are two really great options. Alright, you get out of here and get some rest. You work too hard,” she said with a chuckle.
“Glass houses,” I teased.
“Touche. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I made my way outside and was surprised at the drop in temperature. The wind was blowing, and the sky was gray and dreary. Something caused me to turn around and I don’t know what it was, but what I saw had me moving faster. I glanced back over my shoulder, as I thought I might be imagining things. A tall kid wearing a hoodie was watching me. I couldn’t make him out from this distance, but I could swear it was Dex. My walk turned into a jog and I looked back once more before I turned the corner. He wasn’t there anymore. Maybe I’d imagined the whole thing? Maybe it was just some kid in a hoodie who happened to be tall and thin. It didn’t mean it was Dex. Last I heard, he was living in Los Angeles with his mother.
My phone rang and I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was Cruz. FaceTiming me.
“Hey,” I said, glancing back once more to make sure no one was following me.
“Hey yourself, More Jade. What’s up?”
“Not much. Just leaving research.”
“It’s getting dark. I don’t like you walking alone,” he said.
“Dad? Is that you?”
“Such a smart ass. I’m sure Jack wouldn’t approve of you walking alone at night either,” he said, and I studied his handsome features. He was sitting on his bed in his hotel room, his hair was sweaty and disheveled, he didn’t have a shirt on, and his honey-brown gaze locked with mine.